Forgotten Or Remembered
by Unpredictable Easty
Summary: She changed the moment her heart stopped beating but she still knew where it belonged. But it was hard to forgive him after what had happened with her. With a new companion, she'll start her immortal life and would be ready for him, the one who left her for her own good. EdwardxBella LeahxOC
1. Chapter 1

**So, new day, new story. This is my first attempt on Twilight Fanfic. I should tell you that i've already written the whole story and i will post chapters on a weekly basis. It is 6 chapter long and if i want, i may later add an epilogue to it. For now, read knowing that it is a complete story.**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own it. This book and it's every character is Stephanie Meyer's property.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

This day had been as good as any that I experienced nowadays. I woke up from that nightmare that hadn't left me still. Even after I had confessed that yes I love Jacob Black enough to be with him. The ragged hole in my chest hadn't healed yet. It was the same shape and size that it was before. But I had controlled the pain somewhat; I focused on the love that Jake showered me with every day. How much he loves me, how can I show him the pain I go through still when he try so hard to make me forget that. And I try too, to forget him. To forget the family that I had dreamed of being a part of. But it was now a mere dream. The reality was Jacob and our somewhat new but very comfortable love. It was a different kind of love too. In this relationship I don't have to be afraid, I don't have to think that he is too perfect to be with me. He was just Jacob. A normal guy except for the werewolf part. The reason that I smile and laugh even after I have broken heart from inside but it was healing, in a really slow pace but it was healing. I have come to the terms that Jake is my love and life now. There was hesitancy in me still. We kissed but I couldn't do anything more. My body always protested against the action that would lead to anything of that sort but he understood my problem and didn't blame me. He said that we will be able to pass that obstacle too. He had been patient with me before when I had said to him that I couldn't be with him and his determination in the end proved fruitful. He had every hope that this time too, I will let him in someday.

I was ready for the day ahead. I would go to school and after that, I and Jake made plans to go to a movie. We had planned to meet in Seattle because he had some patrols to run before he could come and meet me. We had planned to meet in a park where we had gone to before and loved it there. We both weren't the picnic type but there was something good, something really natural that let us connect to the nature.

So after meeting there we would go to a movie and then eat somewhere there. A night tried to come to surface in my mind. With Mushroom Ravioli and Him. The night that had conform my theories and had me enter the supernatural world. I shook my head trying to clear my mind. It would do no one good if I started to think the times that I had spent with him.

Charlie had been near ecstatic when he got the news of me and Jake being together. Though he had talked to Jacob, about not hurting me in the future, while brandishing his gun. It was certainly a funny sight and I wondered how Jake was stopping himself from snorting. After so many test and trials, he had kept his promise of not hurting me.

As I got in my Chevy, I thought of cheating again. To think about Edward for a minute, I cheated like that now and then. I had time to get to school so I drove extra slow and allowed myself to drown myself in his memories. I smiled through the pain in my chest; I would always smile when I remember his smouldering gaze, and how he could manipulate me by just a look. His hairs, his smell, everything about him that had attracted me. I remembered him trying to tell me that all these things are the one that makes him dangerous for me. How he underestimated me. I know the real reason he left, I am a thoughtful person and could see from others perspective and I know it took me a little time to understand but I did. How can a vampire be that stupid, I have no idea? He left to protect me, even knowing that I was a danger magnet in myself. Like Victoria wouldn't come after me, like Laurent would be loyal to the vegetarian diet, like I would be able to live without him. He underestimated me and my feelings for him. I wondered sometimes what kind of hell he would be living in, knowing he had left me that day so broken. I remembered Alice telling me once, when James was tracking me that Edward has been alone for a long time and if I would die, he would be alone for another century. I wished he would eventually find someone like I had found Jake. IT may not compare to what I and Edward had, but it was good, I could think my future living with Jake and loving him like he loves me.

I stopped thinking about him as I parked my truck in my spot. My performance in school has changed. I was now studying really hard to get into a really good college. Career is the next thing that I wanted to make. Jake were the most important one nowadays and I wanting my second priority to be my career. I had decided my career to be in medical field. Jake and I discussed our future together sometimes, he wanted to build cars. He was already good at that but after studies we were confident, he'll be great.

Studies were not the only thing that I concentrated on. I decided I didn't wanted to be helpless in front of my friend; it was time to be Bella again. Angela and Ben were always the ones I talked to. I sometimes talked with Jessica and Mike, but not too much. I had found out who was a true friend and who was not. I didn't ignore them but I didn't particularly make an effort to talk to them. Needless to say Jake was happy that I wasn't friends with Mike.

I stepped out of my truck and made my way to my first class. I just wanted the day to end, so I could enjoy a cracking up time with Jake. We always went to those movies that we can joke about all the time. That was our type of date.

As the last bell rang, I thought I could just sing from relief. Two days of school freedom. As I was making my way toward my truck, Ben stopped me.

"What's the matter Ben?" I asked as I took his presence. He had a blush on his face and looked nervous. He kept stretching and then straightening his blue t-shirt. His bag hung on his right shoulder, his faded black jeans had mud clinging to it, from all the mud on the ground.

"I wanted some help actually" he smiled again. I have to say his smile was really childlike.

"Yeah, tell me" I said

"It's going to be our one year anniversary, so, I was thinking if you can help me plan something." Ben said

I smiled, "Of course Ben, I would love to help. What do you want me to do?"

"Well, according to forecast, it's going to be sunny that day, so I was planning something outdoorsy but I want it to be just us, so, I can't take her to a park, they are all so full, so I wanted to ask if you can help me find a place like that."

An image of a meadow came to my mind. It was still beautiful in my mind, a perfect spot for the two lovers like Angela and Ben. That place should not be in the memory of the person who will only recollect bad memories from it, the place deserved better, and it was a heaven for the couple who really loved each other. I could see Ben and Angela being with each other for a long time and maybe even marrying. They shared something so deep that the hole in my chest hurt to remember that I had felt like that too at some point.

"I have just the place for you. But we'll have to leave for that place right after school, if you don't mind." I told him.

He looked ecstatic and smiled in such a way that can only come when a person think about the person he really loves.

"I owe you one, Bella." Ben said.

"You can order home deliver pizza for me." I replied

He laughed but agreed and I told him to follow my truck. I knew that I would be late after showing Ben the meadow, so I called Jake.

"Hey." I said when I heard him pick up.

"Hey, Bella, I was just going out for patrol." He answered.

"Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I will be late for meeting you in the park. Ben is asking for my help for his and Angela's one year anniversary."

"You? Helping someone for a romantic day?" He snorted." That would be something to see."

"Nobody's asking you for my lack of romance ideas. Beside I can have good ideas. I am taking him to the meadow." I told him smugly.

"Aww… I was going to take you there." His tone implied that he was mocking me.

"Way to have original ideas Jake. Maybe we should just sit at my sofa and see movie marathon of something." I replied. Although I was joking yet I felt a jolt at thinking that we may celebrate our first year anniversary and many more.

"Ah, you always know how to make my day, love." I felt a jolt at that because He called me that. I gulped.

"Yeah, now I am hanging up. Ben would be thinking that my truck had decided to not move at all if I kept him waiting any longer."

"That can happen. But yes, I've got to go too. I love you."

"Love you too." I clicked the end button and started my truck.

I couldn't help but see all the memories flickering in front of me. I didn't stop them. Sometimes to know something was real was to face the pain that it had brought on you and I didn't want Edward to fade into nothing. After all first love should always be remembered.

I glanced in the rear view now and then to check if Ben was following me and he was. There was stinging in my eyes but I refused to cry. The meadow now consisted of others memories too. It was supposed to be for a Bella and Edward who were together but they were not here now. I have tainted it with the memories of me and Jake together when we went hiking and I enjoyed those memories because they kept me away from the hole.

I could see the point from which the trail started and stopped my truck there. The map and compass was always there in my truck and it was becoming rather easy for me to find my way through the place. I knew that it would take us at least three hours to get in and out if we went in a fast pace.

"Is this it?" Ben asked gesturing toward a trail.

"No, it is nowhere near the trail." I answered and started toward the edge of forest.

Ben looked surprised but followed. I could understand his surprise, after all even Jake accepted the fact that I did not look like a girl who would go off trail but they didn't knew that he was also called a trouble magnet. The name stung a bit but not that much to curl into a ball.

The forest was alive with an activity, it was sunny and the winter was at end after all. This year was my last year and I was applying to many colleges. Jake had made sure to make me give application in Dartmouth too. I didn't know what he was thinking. Like I could be that intelligent to get into that college.

I could hear the scuttles and whispers of leaves moving, the animals shifting from their position. The new green leaves and small blossoming flowers. Although it wasn't as green as it should be by now but for a place like Forks it was still something. There were some spots where the sun's rays broke through the heavy foliage. The warmness that seeped into the skin that was exposed to the sunlight was countered when I moved from that spot and felt the still icy wind.

The conversation was less because we both knew that we had to get back early, so we trudged up quietly and fast. The occasional talk consisted of asking about assignments and Jake and how the part time job was going. After walking for a while I could see the glare of sun at some distance. I prepared myself for it because I knew that there would be some beauty that I had beheld when I had first been there.

"Be prepared." I told him and smiled.

He looked suspicious but still nodded. And then we broke out of the forest and into the meadow and I could hear him gasp. It still looked breath taking and I could feel the hole growing in my chest and I let it for a minute. I closed my eyes and just felt the presence that wasn't there. I heard his voice in my memories, I saw his skin glittering and felt the ghost touches and I could feel my own tears flowing but I did not feel like curling up, I just let myself feel and let them flow because sometimes that was hard too and I had been keeping them at bay for a long time now.

"It's so magnificent; there is no word for it." I opened my eyes and saw him looking in awe at the sight in front of him. He rounded at me.

"How did you find it?" He stopped as he saw tears in my eyes. "What happened?"

"Nothing, just some past memories. I came here with Edward. He showed me this place." I told him and smiled. I wiped my tears and looked at the place for one more time.

"Does it still hurt?" He asked uncomfortably.

"Yes, it does. It will always hurt. And let me give you an advice as a person who had experienced it, hold on to Angela. You guys have something so special that not many people experience it."

He smiled softly and hugged me. I hugged him back for a moment then told him to hurry as I had to meet Jake.

Evening was not very far and I wanted to make it before complete dark and our pace was faster than before. I did not notice the wonders that the forest held but saw my on feet and the ground ahead as I moved. Ben was also keeping pace with me, he also had some study plans with Angela and he did not wanted her suspicious of his plans.

At last we got the place where we had parked our vehicles. After thanking me, he and I parted ways and I swerved my truck toward the route to Seattle.

The Sun was still in the sky and I knew that by the time I would get to that park it would set. I sighed as I realized that I was late. I just hoped that Jake wouldn't be angry or that he would get to do something else there. Although he probably would start playing with kids. Sometime I forget that we were still teenagers, allowed to be kids. Mine and his life has just been through things that normally human didn't encounter and it was important to salvage the moment of normality. I already spend my free time with Emily, helping her and waiting for boys and I understood that, that was difficult too. Wondering if someday they would encounter a vampire and wouldn't come back. I didn't know if I wanted anymore vampires here or not. This life was comfortable; I knew now why Charlie preferred this small town. I knew that Jake ha responsibilities here and that's why I wasn't bringing this topic for now. We still have years for thinking about settling down and we can think about it later. For now it was important for us to survive. I knew when it came to it, I was the problem. I couldn't forget the past but who would be able to. When you have a future planned out and it just disappears into nothing, how can you not hold the wisp of it?

At last I got to the appointed place and parked my truck. I could see Jake's vehicle too. I remembered the days when we spent the whole day playing in his garage with those things. Now, my motorcycle was in his garage and we went there now and then when they needed a fixing. We still rode them and it was exciting as hell. I had stopped seeing Edward after I had gotten the hang of it. I was disappointed for days but I knew it was for best. I can't chase his shadows everywhere after all.

I shook my head and tried to cheer myself up so that Jacob wouldn't suspect anything. I think he still knows when I am thinking about Edward but he also knows that they had left a big impact and it would take me some time to recover. I trusted Jacob to get me through it, he was the only person whom I can trust with my heart and he had proved it.

The park was big and we would have difficulty finding each other if not for the place that we have fixed already. That place was tucked away in a corner, with lots of trees surrounding it. There were many bird houses hanging from trees there. It was mainly for that purpose. Kids often made their own bird houses to be hanged there. There was a competition every year to choose the best one. It increased the imagination power of kids and made them more active. It also created a place for Bird watching and to be an environment with only the bird chirping sounds. Sometimes it was annoying if you're already in a bad mood but sometimes it just absorbs you and makes you one with nature. Now that, the sun was setting, I guessed that birds would be trying to sleep and would be relatively silent, accept for nocturnal ones.

When I went to the spot though, I didn't find Jacob there. I frowned and wondered if I was that much late that he would have left already but Jacob wasn't that type. He would have waited for me or would have at least called me if that were the case. I thought about checking the park then, maybe he just went for a stroll.

After checking half the park, I found him by the small pound that the park had. I walked toward him but stopped when I saw that he hadn't heard my approach. That was weird because he always knew when I was in his vicinity. He was looking toward the playground and he had an expression that I haven't ever seen on his face. I looked toward the playground to see what has captured his attention but I only saw two girls talking while sitting on the swings. I looked back toward Jacob but he still had that expression, like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

I gasped and felt my legs give away as I realized what had happened. Surprisingly I felt numb except for the chant of 'No' going in my head. I clutched my chest as it became too difficult to breathe and gasped. I realized I was saying 'no' aloud too. I couldn't think of anything but I still felt my thoughts clashing in my mind. The 'it can't happen' to 'I should have known' running through my mind. But I couldn't feel anything other than the hole that just became bigger, maybe not bigger but as though another hole has opened. I was numb to everything. The cold air didn't sting, the stone under my knee didn't hurt and the pain of losing something, didn't register.

I saw as Jacob swung his head toward me, He should have heard my gasping and I could see the horror in his eyes but I could also see the acceptance in his eyes of what was happening. He started walking toward me and I didn't knew if I wanted him to come near to comfort me or just staying away from me so that I didn't have to hear it. I could see it in his eyes already.

Jacob was coming toward me but I could see him struggling to not look toward the girl who has captured his heart. A lilt of laugh made him look away from me and again toward the girl. I didn't know which one he was looking at but I knew that I have lost him. He looked at me again and I could see the tears forming in his eyes. This thing would devastate him too but he will not be able to ignore it, I already knew it.

I stood up on shaking legs and saw him stop. He looked at me, trying to communicate without words but I couldn't bear it any longer. I couldn't bear to see him struggling neither seeing the finality of the situation. I shook my head, tears trickling down my face, I didn't want him comforting me, and I just wanted to curl up somewhere. The person I trusted most would be breaking it. I understood why he would be doing it but it didn't make the heartbreak any better.

I spun around and ran, clutching my chest as I felt the hollow ache in there. The scene blurred in front of me because of my tears but I couldn't stop or wipe them away because I just wanted to get away from all this. As I saw the last time behind me, I saw Jacob crouching on the ground, his hands covering his face. I saw the girls making their way toward him, probably to ask him if he was alright. The day it will end for me, will be starting of a new relationship.

I didn't know how I got back to my house, everything was just a blur. The only thing running in my mind was 'Not again'. Because I could not live through it all again. The rain had started half way through my home and I didn't care when I stepped out into it and felt myself get wet. It didn't matter because I was numb and I didn't want to feel anything either. I stood in front of the house, staring at it. It was all coming back, the numbness was going away as things registered in my head. I shivered as I felt cold. No one was there with their werewolf heated body to get me warm. My heart was broken and no one was there with their sunny smile to make me feel happy. I was lonely and the person who loved me was so far away now that the emptiness ached.

Edward and Jacob. Both revolved inside my mind, no name gave me comfort, it just made me want to curl up and die. My safe harbour had become another storm for me to face.

Light spilled in front of me as the front door opened and Charlie saw me. He would be seeing his daughter broken again. I didn't know how he would cope with that. He came out and rushed toward me. He called my name but I couldn't answer. Thankfully darkness was seeping around me and after a moment I drowned in it.

As I came to, I knew that I didn't want to face the world. I couldn't remember because of the haze that was surrounding me but I knew that it was disastrous and something that I wouldn't be able to bear. I blearily opened my eyes and saw the ceiling overhead, it registered in my mind that it was night time. I got up slowly and saw that I was in the same clothes in which I had gone to school. They were dry but I remembered being in the rain. I struggled to remember why I was there and slowly the information came. My hand went to my chest and I started crying because I felt like there was nothing else to do. I remembered that I had a history assignment that I would have to submit tomorrow and I went to my desk, sobbing and throwing aside things to get to my books, I cried as I wrote in my notebook, the tears dropping on my notebook and ruining it. The only thoughts that I tried to think about was history but that didn't stop me from crying because it was unbearable but I have to live but there was nothing to live for. If I could find a reason like history assignment to continue my existence then I would.

That's how Charlie found me, doing homework while sobbing. He came to my desk and tried to make me stop.

"Bella, listen to me. Stop crying." He said, he was never very good at comforting.

He made me face him and hugged me.

"I can't." I sobbed. "I can't go through that, Dad. I will die. Why did this happen, why?"

"Bells, I'll make him pay, I promise." He said his voice hard.

I recoiled in horror.

"No Dad, it's not his fault. Jake didn't do anything. It was just…" I trailed. How can I make him understand that it was the universe that was to blame?

"I've already talked to Billy and I know who I am going to blame. I was so happy when you got together with Jacob but I didn't know that he would also turn out like that Edward. I'm sorry Bella. I couldn't protect you from anyone." He looked at me with anguish in his eyes and I hugged him again. He shouldn't feel like that, if I would have been stronger from the starting, he wouldn't have to see it.

I didn't want him to worry. I had to be strong and face it if I wanted to see him happy so I wiped my face and put a determined mask on my face. "I will be alright Dad. You don't have to worry about me."

He looked at me, I think he knew what I was trying but he still nodded, kissed my forehead and with a last look got out of my room. As he closed my door, the tears came again and I stared at my assignment.

I was in my own world of anguish and did not care for whatever was happening around me, so I startled as I felt a cold hard hand close over my mouth and as a musical voice said in my ear.

"Be silent or your Dad would have to suffer too."

It was Victoria.

 **If you liked it, please review. It helps me get more creative. Seriously. Criticism is appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay here is the next chapter. It got a little early, huh? Like i said I've already written it. I hope you** **don't mind the bold Bella that i'm going to show to you in this chapter.**

 **Warning: OOC Bella but in a good way.**

Everything stopped for a moment, my heart, my shaking and for a second I thought that time too has frozen. I knew this day would come, that she would find me but not now, not when I already have lost everything. Was my luck really so bad that I would lose everything in a single day? My Best Friend, My Boyfriend and now my life. Maybe it wasn't as much of a bad luck, this way my life would end; I didn't have to face the life ahead full of disappointments and hollow soul. I could be free from it once and for all. I was happy that at least Jacob has found someone now. He won't be that sad.

The frozen moment broke as I could hear my heart beating faster and my thoughts running. The cold steel of her hand on my mouth and her cold breath on my pulse. I gulped and saw her inhale my scent deeply, I could only feel the happiness radiating off of her with the predator intent rolling off her.

"Did you miss me?" she purred and moved her hand from my mouth.

I took a deep breath, readying myself to face her, to face my death. I slowly turned, my history assignment falling on the floor. The lights made her skin glow. Her features opened up the wound in my soul and made me remember all those features on a more friendly faces. Her red hair stayed still but felt like they were burning. Her eyes showing her excitement to finally get her revenge. Her mouth curled showing her sharp teeth.

She wasn't looking at me, just exploring my room and the knick knacks that I have. She saw things than looked at me and then continued tossing my things here and there. I stayed in my chair, unable to move from my petrified position. She wasn't stalling, no; she was making sure that I felt every moment of my end. She was taking every single pleasure in this situation.

After rounding up my room, she came to a halt in front of the rocking chair and comfortable situated her.

"You didn't answer me, Bella. It's rude and I don't think you can afford that." She said.

I raked my brain, which has gone shut. I could stall for a moment or two; there must be some werewolves who would have smelled her scent nearby. I just hoped.

"No" I croaked out.

"Stall her just like that, Bella." His voice said urgently.

I took comfort in his voice. Taking pleasure in the connection that we still have somehow.

"That's rude too. But I forgive you because I'll be killing you in a while."

"How did you get past the werewolves?" I asked.

She smiled victoriously.

"I did nothing. They just weren't doing their work properly. Looks like they don't care about you anymore."

They must be busy with Jacob's problem. They already knew how difficult it was because of Sam but now every one of them would also be feeling the anguish.

"What are you doing stalling?" I asked.

"I am just savouring every little detail of it." She replied. "Tell me how the Cullens are?"

"They left Forks last year." I forced myself to say.

"And they didn't take you with them? Don't you mean anything to Edward anymore?" She asked.

"No, he told me that he didn't care about me." I said, trying to inject my anguish in the sentence.

She didn't look like she believed it. She still looked ready to kill me.

In a blink of an eye, she was gone from the rocking chair and at my neck, inhaling my scent.

"Let me tell you something as a parting gift" she rolled off her tongue, "He loved you deeply, I would know as I know how vampire look when they are in love" and then she bit me.

I clamped my mouth as I could feel my blood flowing out from my body. I closed my eyes and tried to not make any noise so that Charlie won't come. I wanted him to live; he would not die because of me.

As I closed my eyes accepting the death, I felt Victoria rip away from me. There was a loud shatter and many different sounds as she crashed into a wall. I saw Embry standing in my room, growling at the figure. I heard my door open as Charlie came to examine about the disturbance and I felt the long moment as everyone seized everyone else. The room was becoming a little fuzzy. My consciousness going away. I couldn't see Charlie's expression to understand what he thought of this situation. I already knew how Embry and Victoria would be looking but I was afraid of my father.

And then I screamed. The fire started at my throat, it was fiery yet cold fire, the kind of fire that burns everything into ash in a second and I thought of why I could still feel it. Why wasn't I turned into ash by now but no, it was spreading in my body, I could feel it affecting my upper body. I opened my eyes and saw Charlie's face hovering over me. It was hard to see, everything turning black around the edges but I didn't wanted to close my eyes because I knew if I did then it would be only darkness and the fire inside me. It was painful but also strange as I couldn't feel my body parts but I could still feel every inch of them burning. The cold fire consuming me from inside out. I tried to picture Edward; to see his face and feel a little less pain but it was for not, nothing came inside the blank canvas of my mind, my mind shutting to everything but for the pain.

"Bella, it'll be alright. Nothing would happen… shh…" I heard for a flickering second but after that everything drowned.

I tried to see what else was happening. Where were Embry and Victoria? I saw the window side wall of my room broken. That was the last thing that I could see before nothing but pain was my companion.

I didn't know anything but the pain for a long time. It felt like I was in that anguish for 100 years but I knew it couldn't have been that long. There was no thought process in me as everything burned. In times when I could catch a figment of something, I always tried to remember my friends, the only thing to get me through this. Remembering Jacob brought painful memories but he was my sunshine and His laughing smile and the time spent with him made me feel something other than the pain. I remembered the Cullens, everyone's face as I could remember and moments of peace and happiness.

It did not help me much with the pain because every fibre in my body was feeling the fire and I just wanted it to end.

The time passed and I could hear something, something very distant, like it was coming from miles away, a growl. I could hear 1 heartbeat beside me. It was too fast but I was confused about how I was able to hear it. This gave me hope that the pain would end in some time. My senses were increasing; it would be a short trip now hopefully.

And then I screamed. Until then I had clamped my mouth, tried to think other things, to not scream but the pain had become unbearable, the fire was now centred on my heart and it was eating it up. My heart was too fast as it beat and it in itself was so painful that I couldn't help but sob for it to stop, I couldn't take it anymore.

"It's almost finished." I heard a female voice say.

I couldn't understand who it can be, did Victoria kill everyone and made me captive? But no, the heartbeat was coming from where the voice had come, it was someone human.

My heart beat five times more and then stilled. The fire now residing in my throat, I felt like it was parched but still I felt perfect like there was nothing physically wrong with me.

I opened my eyes to a world of detail. If I would have been human, I would have to blink many times to adjust to the bright sunlight above me but they didn't need any time for adjusting instead I saw small creatures around me. I could hear the small footsteps of a squirrel climbing on the tree, the flutter of wings from butterfly, every single sound around me, I could hear it at the same time and distinguish between them. The loudest of all was the heartbeat of the person sitting some distance away from me.

"Two big heartbreaks in such a short life and a psycho vampire stalking you, I should say they are right about you being a trouble magnet." She said.

"Leah" I breathed. The sound of my voice surprised me. It was musical, just exactly like all the vampires that I have yet met.

She was sitting there eating a bag of chips. I wasn't fooled. I could see the tension on her body, if I made even a single move, she would be at my neck without a second's delay.

"Well, they are right above your senses getting enhanced." Her sarcasm was thick.

"What... What are you doing here? Where am I?" It was getting hard to not concentrate on my own voice.

"You are in the middle of a forest, so no one would hear your pathetic screams. I am here on the duty to watch you and welcome you to the group."

I was confused.

"What group?"

"The girls who got their heart broken because of imprinting. I have yet to come up with a good name for the group though." She yawned.

I felt broken then. The reminder of the time before I was bitten was foggy but I still remembered the ache.

"Here." Leah tossed an elk toward me. With the way I could still feel lingering warmth from it, the creature recently died.

I stared at it. I could feel the instincts, my tongue licking my teeth, my throat flaring at the promise of the warm liquid but I only stared.

"Kill me." I whispered but I knew she had heard me as her hand stilled on the chips packet.

How could I live an eternity with this broken yet still heart? With dreamless nights and foggy memories, knowing they were somewhere on this Earth but not being with me. How many times do you have to be hit to understand that this world isn't for you?

"Look I know it's difficult but everything would be alright." Leah said and for once she looked sympathetic.

"But it won't, would it? It was alright before, Jacob was with me, I was moving forward but now here I am. It will never be alright. What's the profit of this wretched existence when I have nothing to live for? I have absolutely nothing to make me live. Everything is finished. Edward, Jacob, my life, everything is just gone." I was broken and angry, and angry at world, angry at Edward and Jacob and angry at my voice that was still musical in this anguish, this wrenching pain.

"Stop being a pathetic mess. At least you can get away from here and start anew, me, I am stuck here with my love which is not even mine." She was growling at me.

"Stuck here?" I laughed viciously, I didn't know what was happening with me, but the words were flowing and there was a part which was satisfied. "You're a coward who would rather make everyone's life miserable and not just try to be happy on your own. There is no one stopping you but your own pathetic self that is making excuses."

She was shaking badly. It looked like she would phase any second, she started breathing deeply.

"At least I have enough courage to live, not beg to someone so that they will kill me. Do you think it's easy being a werewolf? The instincts to follow behind your alpha, no matter what. The feeling of loneliness when you're the only female in the pack. I can't go on my own because nobody would follow me. If you think it's easy to live in a pack of wolves then you may as well try to stay here and see Jacob being truly and blissfully happy. Then you would understand how every second you want to kill the reason of everything but you can't because it's no one's fault."

"If Sam can become Alpha, why can't you?" I asked, I had calmed down after that long rant.

"An Alpha needs a team and nobody would follow me." She said collecting herself, she also looked calmer.

"I'll be your team." I said, a plan forming in my mind. She looked at me strangely. "I can't stay here and I'll be alone. I need someone who would be able to help me when I may attack a human. You're a descendent of the last three and if you become your own alpha, you can come with me. I would help you when you'll get angry. You would be able to see the world; you can find your own imprint and your own happiness. You wouldn't have to worry about anyone."

Her eyes were glazed; I could see that she was fighting the temptation. She always wanted an out from her situation and this was her opportunity but it was coming from me, her natural enemy.

"Seth." She said shaking her head.

"Have others. Seth understands your situation. How do you think he feels when he sees his own sister in so much pain? If you keep thinking about your own responsibility then you would be here for all your life."

"I can't. Just stop." She was trembling but I could see the tears on her face.

"Think about it. I'll probably have to leave as soon as I can." I said. Before I could add anything, we heard the sound of heavy footsteps and knew that other werewolves were coming.

As soon as my focus was diverted from the thoughts of the topic of the new life ahead of me, the smell hit me. I don't know how it hadn't registered before but now the smell of blood was all around me and I just wanted to sink my teeth in a warm skin. As I started looking toward the pulse point on the neck of Leah, she finished making herself look normal. Her sharp eyes noticed where I was looking and she looked at me in a challenging way that told me that if I tried anything, it would be my last plan ever. I grounded myself where I was sitting and concentrated on the elk at my feet. As soon as I took it into my hands, my fangs sank into its throat and I started drinking like a savage from it. As I was half way drinking the blood, three wolves appeared in front of me. I could not spare time for them, the fire in my throat was subduing a little and I didn't care if they saw me like this.

"She hasn't attacked me yet. I think her thoughts were somewhere else. You know heart breaks do that." Leah said and smirked. She cocked her head at one side like she was trying to listen something.

I heard a howl in the air; the sound came from a large distance. I looked toward the three wolves in front of me, all had the wincing expression, clear even on the face of wolves. I didn't felt sad at that, I felt like there was a satisfaction in me, that I was not the only one suffering now. I now knew why Leah was always so vicious.

Leah nodded toward the black furred wolf and ran toward the trees. Sam too ran in the opposite direction. For a while I sat there looking at the two wolves in front of me. Looking at them, the feeling came back to me, to hurt someone like I was. Not physically but emotionally. I knew that Jacob was in his wolf form and whatever I would say to these wolves would get to him too.

"Hello Jacob. I guess you won't hate Edward from now on, after all you have fallen in the same category with him." I said and the wolves winced. "Or you may start hating me, I am a bloodsucker now. You won't hate me long though, I would be going away and you can make a life with your imprint. I would have to start a new life, alone in the world and you would be here with friends and your soul mate but I guess it's how I would have to pay to get in love with a werewolf who can imprint anytime. I remember you said that it won't matter, that you won't leave me but who can defy gravity. I wish all the happiness from my heart, even though it has stopped beating there are still some emotions left in them. Enjoy your short happy life while I'll enjoy my own lonely eternity." I chuckled.

I stopped when I saw Sam coming out of the trees in his human form. His expression was twisted in anguish like he didn't know if he should be angry or sad at the situation.

"Bella, you know what we are and what our job is." Sam started saying. "You know the rules and the reasons. You are here like this is maybe our fault but you are a vampire now and you can't stay here. Especially right now when you are new and you may have no control. You have to go into an uncivilized area and practice to live without human blood. You have to leave as soon as you can. You are welcome here when your eyes will change from the ruby colour that you have now. Aside from that…" He trailed off, "I am sorry, exceedingly sorry that we couldn't save you. The timing was wrong, everything went wrong on that day, yours and Jacob's relationship and we got busy there and she got her chance. If I could do anything, I would do it but…" He broke off, staring into the distance.

"I will be out of here tomorrow but before I go, I want to meet my Dad and Jacob."

"You can't meet your Dad, you may lose control." He said.

"Who is going to stop me? You? Going to tear my limbs one by one and throw in fire? Or someone from your pack?" I said snarling. "You can be there, I don't care if the whole pack is there but I want to meet him and talk to him one last time and nobody can stop me from doing that."

Sam looked angry for a second but then schooled his feature to his blank mask.

"Jacob doesn't want face you right now." Sam said after recollecting himself.

At that moment Leah came back and she was in her wolf form. She came and stood on my right. I had a feeling that she was on my side.

I again looked at the wolves.

"Why? Won't you like my new eyes or you won't like the stillness of my heart. Jacob you'll meet me because you owe me."

The wolves growled and I could again hear the howl in the distance.

"Stop now." Sam shouted.

"Why? Does it hurt? Do you have even the faintest idea how much it hurts to think that I've been led to trust again and thrown into the same hole again by the person that I trusted. Do you have any idea how much it hurts to see your high school boyfriend be happy with your cousin. Perfectly happy. No, you don't. Feel the pain that we are facing, Sam because we aren't going to be the only one when it's not our fault."

Leah nudged my leg and nodded her head.

"Do you have anything else to say?" I asked.

Sam seemed like he wanted to kill me. He was glaring and I could hear deep growls from him.

"Just remember" He closed his eyes and tried to calm down, "That you can't be left alone so there would always be someone with you. Since Leah had been with you for around 10 hours, she'll be going home. Quil will be with you."

"Okay but I want him in human form; I don't want to get bored." I said.

He nodded. The conversation finished, Leah and others left while Quil in his human form sat down. I always like Quil because of his fun personality. He and Embry had become one of my close friends too. Whenever Jacob went to patrol and Angela and Ben were doing something together, I would hang out with either one of them.

Today though he was tense and looking anywhere but in my direction.

"Oh come on, I don't look like one of those horrible Hollywood vampires at least." I said to lighten the mood.

He looked at me and stared for a second but I could see a hint of smile.

"Have you seen your eyes? If you came in front of a kid, he will just not cry but he would also have to go to psychiatrist."

"That's so not true. They're just red, not scary." I said.

He looked toward me like saying 'Oh really'.

"Okay, it's the same thing. But they'll be okay once sometime have passed and I would have drunk animal blood."

His nose screwed at the thought.

There was a lull in the conversation for a moment as we looked at our surroundings. The sun had set and the darkness was coming. It was a full moon and it gave us enough light to see each other.

"When I think about it…" I started, "I know that it's no one's fault. It seems like a lesson to me that how a life can change in a second. My life changed the moment Edward came into my life and it changed again when he left and it have changed again. I think I would like to have some years of routine in my eternity because life changing just makes it more awful for me. I am just a little afraid now about what I will do. I am afraid of how I will be able to control myself when I am all alone."

I looked at Quil as he stood up and came toward me. He plopped down just beside me and wrapped his hand around me. It was a strange combination of emotion that I felt at that moment but the strangest was that I was sobbing yet no tears left my eyes. As we sat there like that I felt a water drop lend on my shoulder.

"Are you crying?" I asked.

"No" He sniffed.

I gave a chuckle at that.

"You're not supposed to cry when there is already a girl crying." I said.

"Where is that rule written?" He sniffed again.

"Somewhere. So, what are we going to do? Cry like this all night?" I asked.

"I hope not. If any of them sees me like this, they would tease as long as I would live." He said.

"Then I would tell them myself."

"You wouldn't" He threatened.

"I would" I sing-songed.

He pushed me lightly. I pushed him back and he fell over. I had almost forgotten that I would have gotten extra strength with other vampire powers.

"You know I just remembered that you have strength now. Want to spar?" Quil asked.

"Spar?" I asked shocked.

He nodded.

I was intrigued. I did want to see how well I could fight with my new strength and Quil was a good opponent. He was a werewolf and had his strength too. As the idea took place in my mind, a low growl erupted in my throat. I was surprised by it too and I decided that I wouldn't have much opportunity of fighting after I'll be gone from here so why not?

"Let's do this, Kid." I smirked.

His eyes narrowed.

It seemed a little dramatic as he and I stood across from each other, the wind blowing between us. He broke the stillness as he charged with full speed. It would have been a blur to me if I hadn't have vampire senses but I could see as he ran toward me and then as he leapt and transformed into wolf. I placed my hand in front of me and as he came barrelling toward me; I caught his two front legs and used his own momentum to throw him behind me. The defence didn't throw him out of balance as he attacked again without a second wasting. His aim looked to be on my shoulder and I leapt away, landing miles away and on a tree's branch, I jumped again and landed on his back but he fluidly rolled and I had to get off him.

The offence and defence played for a long time; there was no fatigue to be worried about. I could feel all the muscles flexing in me that were trying to do so from the start. There was no restraint in me as I dodged and attacked at him, I could hear the growls of danger and yips of mirth from Quil. Since I had become a vampire, this was the first time I felt free.

It was when I heard a different type of growl when we stopped from our spar. The growl came from Quil whose stomach stated clearly that he wouldn't shut up until it was fed. Quil went into the forest again to change back to human. He left his bag full of food at the spot where I sat. I could smell of the chips even though I didn't think that I could smell them. I watched him come back and then empty the bag which held quite some food. Enough for a party of six or seven people. I saw as he swallowed every single bite of it and then stretched, looking like he could sleep for a week. I told him to sleep and after a little banter, he did.

The rest of the night was spent with quiet snores that seemed to echo and the thoughts that felt like light dream to me.

As I stood I knew how I looked. In a faded jeans and an old blue top like a statue, I stood in the middle of the clearing. Quil was beside me and I could feel his twitching too. It was time for me to meet Charlie for the last time. The preparation for this meeting was heavy. Aside from two wolves, which would be making patrols, almost every wolf would be here to save Charlie if something happened. I didn't mind that, I wanted him to be safe too. The sun was a little dim because of the clouds gathering it but a beam or two fell on me and illuminated my skin, making me see all the crystalized bits of skin. It was beautiful but it reminded me of Edward so I tried to not think about it.

The air that may have felt cold before to me was suddenly warm as it touched my skin. I could already hear the crunching of steps as footsteps trailed the path. It was the sound of Charlie's footsteps. If I still had a workable heart, it would be beating loudly right now. He was not very far and I could already smell the delicious scent of his blood. I had locked my body on purpose as a statue. It was already difficult for me; my instinct told me to attack while I controlled those urges.

My throat tightened at the thought that Jacob would also be one of those whom I would confront today. I knew what I would do today. I had spent the whole night thinking about it. I didn't knew if I wanted the meeting to be long so I could spend some more time with my friends or get it over with quickly because my throat was flaring at the smell of the blood.

The wait was over as Charlie stepped out of the forest and I held my breath. The moment he came in the clearing, my gaze was fixed at the pulse on his neck; I could see it from here. The distraction came when I saw his face. Bloodshot eyes looked toward me, his face was drawn and it seemed lifeless. As another human stepped in, I saw that Jacob looked similar to Charlie.

"Are you in control?" Sam asked me. He was standing beside me.

"Yes." I replied, trying to not breathe or taste the air around me.

Sam nodded and Charlie and Jacob both stepped toward me. Charlie hurried toward me while Jacob's steps were measured.

"Bella" His voice chocked out.

He ran and hugged me. I stiffened as the desire pooled in me. The scent was enticing me but I fought it with everything. I was not going to attack my father.

"Bella I'm…" He chocked again, "I'm so sorry, I couldn't save you from anything. Everything happened and I didn't do anything. I always wanted a good life for you and I just can't believe. I'm so sorry." He started sobbing on my shoulder.

I have never seen my dad so broken. I couldn't take it. I wrapped my arms around him, I reminded myself to not use any power.

"Dad, it's okay. Everything is fine. I'll be fine. Don't worry. I'll be okay and you'll be too. Don't cry. Shh… "

We stayed like that for a while. His sobs receded and he gained control on himself after a few minutes. He stepped back and looked at me with teary eyes.

"Listen to me Dad, I'll be okay. I'll go somewhere remote and learn to control myself. Remember, now there is nothing that can harm me, you won't have to be afraid about me from now on."

"How would you handle it all alone?"

"Dad, you and Mom have helped me to be a strong person. Don't be afraid. I'll call you if you want, whenever you want. I can't visit but I'll always try to be in contact."

He nodded and as he looked at me, he hugged me once more and kissed my forehead.

"Dad, you have to go now. I don't know how long I'll be able to control myself. I don't want to harm you." I said.

"Maybe it would be my punishment if you did attack me."

"You have done nothing to be punished." I told him.

After a brief hug, he let me go and gave me a bag of supplies that he had packed for me.

"Love you Dad." I said.

"Love you Bella." He replied and turned to go.

He looked at me once more as he was at the edge of clearing but after a moment disappeared in the thick foliage, two wolves accompanying him.

Jacob stood before me as I gazed at him evenly. I could already feel the difference in him. I don't know how but there was something that was in him that had changed because of imprinting that reminded me again and again that he was not mine anymore.

"Jacob." I said and he looked me in the eye.

I knew that he expected more scorn from me but I have decided that I would not finish our relationship like that.

"You'll not hear from me from now on. You'll not see me, not hear my voice and would probably never feel my presence again. I can't see you happy with someone else, with a family that I am not part of but I know that is not your fault. I want you to be happy; Jacob and I want you to remember me as this Bella, not a hateful one. I love you Jacob and I will always."

He was hiding his face from me and I could see the droplets dripping from his chin, as I said those things, he shook and then fell to his knees. I went on my knees too. I could hear him muttering again and again, apologizing for everything.

"I won't ever forgive myself. You're right. Now there is no difference between him and me. I am the same monster as him to break your heart." He said while crying.

"It's not your fault. It's destiny. Stop crying. I will be seeing you for the last time. I don't want to see you like this."

He fell silent after that. We both stood up and I thought to kiss him for the last time, but as I moved forward to that, he turned his face. The feeling of rejection flared into me and an unbidden growl came out of my mouth. I felt as everyone stiffened and got ready to attack me.

I controlled myself and stepped back from Jacob. I lifted the bag and slung it over my shoulder, it felt as light as air even with many of my clothes and other necessities.

"Goodbye everyone and my safe harbour." I said and ran from there. I couldn't help but cry without tears as I left the place.

Two wolves flanked me at a distance to see that I cross the border without harming anyone.

I saw as scenery changed, as the civilization left behind and only animals became my companion. I ran through it all until the wolves stopped and went back to Forks and I still ran toward the unknown future.

I sensed the presence long before I could see her.

"Do you want a companion?" she asked

And I ran with her as my companion to our future.

 **Reviews are appreciated wherether it be praise or criticism. Hope you had fun. Thanks for reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Next chapter my people. Aren't you happy with my punctuality. So even though i didn't get many reviews but the ones i did get touched me so i am going to edit some later chapters for those people. Because let's just sau at one point i wantef to get over with it so i wrote like a lunatic but i promise you will get as good chapter that have my hardwork shown in it. I hope at least. Just know that your reviews actually inspire me to do better.**

 **You already know it doesn't belong to me so why do i always repeat it. Oh well.**

 **ENJOY!**

Thirty-five years later…

"Bella" A hand waved in front of me and jerked me out of my thoughts.

I didn't knew how with all the extra senses, I didn't hear him before or felt his presence but he was there smiling at my stupid reflex.

"Kyle, what do you want?" I groaned because he was an irritating person with a lot of questions.

"I wanted to ask you something." He said, his green eyes shimmering.

They reminded me of someone else that I rather not think about.

"Well that's a surprise." I said.

The sarcasm was as usual lost on him.

"Why?" He said and blinked owlishly.

I thought about explaining the whole concept of sarcasm to my idiotic friend but I could already feel a figurative headache coming at the thought.

"It's nothing." I said and before I could ask what he wanted to ask, he spoke again.

"It can't be nothing. Tell me, tell me, tell me." The figurative headache didn't feel so figurative now.

"Just ask me what you wanted-"

"BELLA" A voice shouted across from cafeteria.

I straightened at once, hearing the shout. It was Leah and there was something in her voice that told me it was something urgent. Did someone found out about us? Did she got a call from Forks? Or something entirely different happened? I dreaded the second option. Even though Charlie was still healthy for his age but even I know that he couldn't fight with death that long. For a few years now I have started fearing a phone call like that since I found out that Billy have passed away.

Since it's been years we had left our home, Leah and I had a good camaraderie and the relation between her mother and she was now better. When we had found out about Billy, we had travelled to Forks in secret so we could pay our respect. Our visit was regrettably short but it felt good that we all had met once again. Although I and Jacob didn't come face to face since he made himself scarce the day I went to their house but I did saw his new family. His wife's name was Lizzie and I knew that Jacob find himself a fantastic companion. She already knew about me and Jacob and apologised but we both didn't linger on that topic much.

It was difficult for me to see their kids. The elder girl who was 20 and the 17 year old boy had the same eyes as their father. I was introduced as a daughter of Jacob's friend for obvious reason. The boy who had heard the story looked suspicious of me but I wasn't bothered. I was here for just a day and even if he got suspicious, Jacob can explain things to him. It was a short visit and I had left to spend the larger part of it with my father. Although he spent most of his time in La Push with Susan or Billy, I still felt something break in me when I saw his grey hairs and hunched form sitting on the rocking chair that was now situated in kitchen. I knew that Susan and He were close but never understood why they didn't marry. He said that it felt like they were betraying Carl. I and Leah both have argued, we didn't want see our parents living alone forever but they were stubborn.

I was pulled out of my thought when I saw Leah advancing toward me.

"I have to go Kyle." I said and also hurried toward Leah. I could clearly hear the whispers going on the tables around me, some of them about me that were not very gratifying. But I was used to hear things whispered behind my back.

I was confused when I saw her face because her face had a shocked expression but there was something in her eyes that said that there was some good news.

Before I could ask questions, she grabbed my arm and hauled me toward the staircase on our right. I looked at her but she didn't utter a single word until we were near our lockers, where there was no one.

She was struggling to speak but her breath was ragged which was weird in itself because like me, she was not one to be tired easily. I was patient enough to wait but I could hear a pair of footsteps and if Leah had dragged me to somewhere private then she need to talk right now.

"I've…" Too late, a boy comes into view, "Imprinted."

"What?' I said although I've heard it clearly.

This was happening and I couldn't believe it. Leah had stopped being sad and nasty after a few years of separation and I had seen the girl underneath all the bitterness. Right now that girl was looking at the boy who had just come around the corner. He was talking to a girl whose name I didn't knew but knew that she was in my history class. The boy had a healthy build with his upper body showing muscles. He was cute; there was no argument in that. His healthy looking body was a plus. The light beard that was in style nowadays made him looks gorgeous. His eyes were dark but there was something in them that made him look like a mystery. Somehow it looked like there was going to be some problems in this path. The last time I had met the eyes like that, i lost my life.

"You have to talk to him." I told her.

She bit her lip and looked like she would faint.

"You're an alpha for God sake. Don't forget that." And just like that her spine straightened and her eyes looked determined.

Since she had chosen to be her own Alpha, her attitude toward something had changed. At first when I had met her, although she was fighting with it yet she was resigned but after leaving the pack, she had become strong with confidence. She did not back down. Maybe imprinting after such a long time had made her nervous but now she looked ready to not only talk to him but take it to the next level probably.

The weird thing came when I turned and saw a confused expression on the guy's face. He was watching us and he looked like he was confused but also thinking about something puzzling. It was visible for a moment then his face turned blank. Now that I had started noticing, there was a weird smell coming from him. Was it possible that he was also one of the supernatural being? He was not a vampire that was clear because I could hear his heart beating yet he was something.

He turned and walked away with his companion without any backward glance. But I could swear that I saw his shoulders stiffen as he turned his back toward us. Maybe he knew about us, that could be dangerous and we may have to change our location. It would have been better if we had survived one another year here but if worst came to worst, we will move.

"I'm going. I'll try to talk to him." Leah told me and I nodded.

I swear that I would help her but not meddle in between much. It was her love story and she would have to fight for it herself.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Leah got to talk to him while in a class because our teacher was late. I was also in the same class, biology class that is. I thought it to be ironic somehow. My connection with biology class and teenage love story. The difference was that we were not teenagers and it was not my story that was going to start here.

Leah had sat with the new guy. I gathered from the conversation that the guy had that his name was Silas. I don't know why but his name sounded so ancient.

My hearing sense couldn't help but pick the conversation that happened between them.

"Hello" Leah began.

"Hi" He replied politely.

There was an awkward silence between them and I could feel it from here. They were sitting in the back while, I sat in the front.

"So-" she said but he cut her off.

"Look I know what you are and what your little friend over there is." He said in a furious whisper.

"And we know who you are." I could almost see the emotionless face that Leah made when she gave that clipped answer.

"So, what do you want? Make a little club of it? It would be better if we ignore each other or I would be tempted to kill that friend of yours." He said.

I was shocked. How was someone so hostile toward me on our first meeting? Heck, it wasn't even a meeting; I was just listening to what they were talking about.

"What problem do you have with her?" She asked.

"What else. Her cold body, her still heart and her habit of drinking blood." He replied with a sneer.

I was feeling a growl building inside me. I was tempted to kill him myself but Leah's face came to the forefront of my mind. She would not be able to handle it and after years I have come to appreciate her as my sister.

"As much as I would love to do that, I can't. I can't tell you the reason right now but if you meet us in the forest then we'll explain things to you."

"And give you a reason to finish me in privacy? I don't think so."

"You know I am not a vampire, you are not my enemy. Just meet us once, it is very important that you do." Her voice was very earnest and I knew somehow that he would agree.

There was some silent agreement between them that I could not see or hear but after a while our teacher entered and the whole class went silent.

"What are you, by the way? I couldn't put my finger on it." Leah whispered to him.

"I thought you knew what I am." He mocked but then gave a straight answer. "I am a werewolf"

"You don't smell like one." She said.

"How many werewolves have you met yet?" He asked.

"I am a werewolf." I could picture her proud face.

"No Darling, you are a shape shifter." He said and the room somehow became more silent.

It was difficult for me to understand if the time went slowly or very fast. The biology class with us three had become so strained that it was a surprise that nobody picked on it. I could just imagine a taut wire between us, ready to be cut by a scissor. After that class though, English went smoothly because they were teaching us Candida and it was one of the dramas that I liked very much. The thoughts of Leah though kept rolling in my mind. Did she have such a bad luck that she couldn't even be with her imprint? Why fate does always dealt such cards to us? It felt like some kind of bad Karma was coming to bite us in the ass.

I knew that if worst came to worst, I would have to step down and go my own way. The thought made me ache because it meant leaving one more person behind whom I have come to care about. If I left Leah then I would be truly alone to go through it all. I didn't know what I would do. It all seemed like a nightmare but I wondered if it was a dream fulfilment for Leah. She wanted this so much. After so many years, after we went through so much. Our years of isolation from world as I struggled to control myself. The years that we spent in going through many jobs to earn money for livelihood and to go to school. To live a normal life. It all came to this. I don't know how I would be able to live alone but if it meant that Leah would be happy then I would happily do so.

As our class ended, I made my way toward the parking lot. Leah would be either already waiting there or may get late. Their Spanish teacher was an unpredictable man. I walked out of the school to get caught up in the light drizzle that was going on. It was normal because that's why we had chosen this city like Forks, with hardly any sun and lots of clouds. (Demon write any city you may know of America that has cold weather most of the time.) I could see our bike standing on the spot where we had parked it in the morning. Since as a vampire I liked speed and there was no reason to buy a whole car just for two of us, we decided on bikes, since Leah was also a fan of bikes. I wore my black leather jacket and gloves that I had grabbed from my locker and waited for Leah whom I had already noticed wasn't there. We would probably go for a hunt before meeting Silas. I had fed just a week before and that was enough time intervals to make me hungry again.

As I saw Leah walking out of the entrance while shielding her from the rain drops, I also noticed the looks I received. It was still not a norm to ride a bike and especially Girls riding bike. Add the fact that me being a vampire added a certain charm to it all. Though I was not alone when it came to appreciative looks, Leah was what may other people call hot and was often known to reject people left and right.

"Did Mr Thomas take extra time again?" I asked her.

She snorted.

"You wouldn't believe it. If I was not already done with Portuguese then I would take it but I had to take Spanish and that teacher make me want to go berserk. He just droll from the book and nothing else." She complained as she shrugged into her jacket.

"I told you to take French but you didn't listen." I said and then changing my voice to mimic Leah, "No, Bella I don't want to do French right now, I always wanted to be master at Spanish first."

She glared at me.

"I'm sure you'll bite your words back when you will need my help in Spanish. Then we'll see." She retorted.

Since she was also ready, I didn't bother replying. I put my helmet on and sat on my bike.

We rode in silence and I loved the speed that we managed. It felt like flying, although I experienced it quite much when I go running in forest but Bikes had their own charm.

I stopped thinking at one point and just allowed the pressure of wind be the only thing that I felt. When it came to hunting, we rested our bikes on the road and went into the forest, Leah shifting after dressing down and I let my instincts roll over me. The only thought in my mind aside from blood was to take care of the wild side of mine if we encountered a human here. I was never too worried about that though, Leah maybe my friend but she still didn't hold back when she was fighting me. Sometimes the scar she gave me looked like they wouldn't heal.

The hunt happened without any incident and we just ran back to our bikes, stopping only once for Leah to put back her clothes. We had already fixed a point, the most ancient part of the forest that was on the north side of the town.

I could feel anticipation curling in my stomach and knew that Leah would be feeling far worse right now. Werewolf and Vampires were natural enemies and I knew that if he asked for me to remove myself from Leah's life for him to enter in it, I would do it without hesitation. Leah had suffered a lot but she would not suffer because of me.

As we stopped our bikes near the destination, I heard the clear drumming heartbeat of Silas and the smell of him. He was not very far, he would have probably decided on a point where he could easily go in the public area if things went wrong.

It was a short run before we saw him, leaning against a tree, I could clearly see his muscle tensing, and the hostility was coming from him in waves. I glanced at Leah but her face was pulled into an emotionless mask.

"Hello bloodsucker" He greeted me.

I felt a growl building in my throat but I control it. I wasn't going to lose control.

"Is that the blood of your recent victim, must have felt pretty good while sucking away its life." He continued, noticing the drop of blood on my collar.

I clenched my hand in a fist and tried to even my breathing to calm myself; this guy was doing this on purpose. He was waiting for an opportunity for him to write us off as a killer that we weren't.

"Bella, I want some alone time here to explain a few things. Join me after 20 minutes." Leah looked at him as she said that to me.

I didn't hesitate and just jumped to a nearby tree and started running. I went at a distance where I could still hear them but was far enough for them to not get distracted by my presence.

"How do you want to start the question and answer round?" His voice drifted toward me.

"I was thinking if you can tell me about Shape-shifters first." She replied.

There was a slight pause as he may be considered it.

"As long as your dead friend stay where she is, I'll be a nice person and tell you what I know, deal?" He asked.

"Okay"

"As far as I know about shape-shifters, they have magic or just plain genes to turn into an animal of their choice but only one animal per shifter. You could have chosen to be a Tiger and you would have been. Their history is as old as any of ours. The tribe that I know about which still exist in India, is the one who changes into snakes. There are several legends about them being an 'Ichadhari Naag/Naagin'. A person in a tribe hardly goes a different way in changing because they think they are related to that animal, while that is not true but it still makes for legends."

There was silence for a long time.

"So you mean, me being a wolf…?" Leah said, unsure.

"Totally coincidental. Your forefathers picked a wolf and you thought of yourself as werewolf. Isn't that cute?" He said in a mocking tone.

"Anything else?" Leah said in a voice that shook a little.

"Well I was always curious about that Imprinting thing that the legend related to your kind tells about. The tribe with snake is said to believe that they find their mate this way. When they look at the person who is their supposedly 'Soul Mate' they feel a pull. They also say that if their partner is killed, they can look in their partner's eyes and see the face of the murderer, which sounds ridiculous to me. Imprinting is something that in whole sounds very weird to be possible."

If my heart could beat, I knew it would have been hammering at that moment. I swallowed and strained to hear Leah's reply even if I didn't need to.

"Imprinting is true." Her voice sounded so fragile.

"Really? How does it happen?" He sounded curious.

"Do you want a practical example or just theory?" she asked, she sounded resolved to do something.

"Example would be great." He replied easily.

I could hear a rustle, Leah was moving, probably to sit down.

"I am from Forks and I am from a tribe that resides in La Push, a place near Forks….." And so she told her story.

The love she had felt with her High School sweet heart, how she had loved him and no one else and how after a while he had changed into a shape-shifter. She described her inability to help his love in overcoming the problems that he was having, she described that since she was still not a Shape shifter herself, and he did not tell him about anything. She told him how they had tried to work it out, she being patient even when he run out on her at nights and him trying to manage his secret life and his relationship with her. She told him about her cousin, Emily who visited her once and how it had changed everything. Sam had looked at her once and he imprinted and so they were bonded for life. It was hard for her to see him and her cousin to be happy together, how Sam had just forgotten about her, like their love was nothing, like they hadn't been trying to salvage it for so many months even when it was so difficult. The ease with which their relationship had progressed irked Leah and she couldn't help but be bitter. She told him about his father's death and how she became the mythical creature she is. She explained the connection between all of them and how she had to hear everything Sam thought about Emily, the intimacy, the love, the future planning of weddings and children and how content he was with Emily. The resignation of it all on her soul and the acceptance that she would be happy for her cousin because it was not her fault.

I could hear the heavy breaths and I knew that she must be crying right now. I wanted to go there but I knew that it was the perfect moment for them to bond.

I heard him plopping down to sit. When Leah's sobs were muffled, I gathered that may be he was comforting her. That was good.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"You shouldn't be. This all happened to me when I didn't even know you. But now you have become a part of it all." She said. I was relieved at hearing her voice become strong again.

"I don't understand." He sounded confused.

"Today when I saw you the first time, I imprinted on you." Her voice was matter of fact.

There was a silence that made me tense, I really wanted at that moment to go back and see how he had taken that but I knew that even now, it wasn't the right moment. The forest around me was so still and the only thing that I could heart was the faint thrumming of the two hearts at the place where we had met.

"I…I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything right now. I'm not going to let you make a decision so fast, when you've seen me vulnerable. I want you to think about it. Even if you would have no interest, I would understand."

"Bella" I heard her say.

I swiftly ran back to where they were, his face hardened when he saw me.

"Why are you with her?" He asked.

"I will tell you the reason when you tell me your decision." Leah said and stood up from where she had been sitting under a birch tree. She turned his back to him and gestured for us to go.

"Goodbye" She said and disappeared under the thick foliage.

I looked at the guy for a minute and turned to go but stopped for a minute.

"She had been waiting for you, even if you are going to say no, please try to not break her heart." I said and got moving before he could reply.

When I came out of the forest, Leah had already strapped his helmet. She did not say anything about my parting words and I did not say anything about the tears that I could see at her chin.

The house that we were living in wasn't big but it at least had two rooms. The second being a guest room but since considering that we would hardly get any guest we had turned into one of ours. In the backyard of it, the whole expanse of forest fanned out. Considering that and the haunted look that it gave sometimes, we got it really cheap. Neither Leah nor I had saved that much money to get something overtly expensive and mostly the money was spent on food because of Leah's humongous appetite. As we entered the house, I could already feel a dullness seeping in the walls. Something was going to change but there was nothing we could do change it. The helplessness of the situation had me frustrated but I held it in. Leah needed support right now. As she chewed on a packet of chips, I started out on the meal for the day. I still liked cooking and did it for Leah every day. At first she didn't wanted to eat anything that my hands made but after a few years or so we got into enough companionship that she started eating the food and after a decade, appreciating it too. It had become a comfort for us. Sometimes it got lonely, two girls trying to face the world but she was an Alpha and I was a vampire who had seen too much in her human life so we survived. Now Leah had a chance with someone and I wanted that life for her. I was never religious but on this day, I whispered a prayer for her.

As she was finished with her meal, we got in our rooms. I could hear her taking out notebooks and knew she was going to do her homework. I, instead, took out my mobile and headphones and listened to the songs, letting the emotions of them flow through me and went into a semi-conscious state, where even though I didn't sleep but let my body go numb. It was something that I had been practicing. I did not wanted the whole nights of wondering what could be, I just wanted a blank slate of a mind.

A week followed the discussion that we had with Silas. We decided not to approach him until he's ready to do it himself but the atmosphere has changed and there was a wait for the storm that would change our life either way, for good or for bad, there was still time to decide that. The ticking of clock was louder than ever, his presence around us was full of anticipation but we were being patient even if it was killing us.

The wait came to an end when we came out toward the parking lot and found him leaning against Leah's bike. It was clear he was there to talk but his face didn't give away anything.

"The spot from earlier." He said as soon as we came into hearing distance and then he was gone with the crowd of the kids.

I had already fed the day before so there was no need to hunt that day so we just started our bikes and went to our designated place.

As we came to where he was, he told me to step out so he could discuss things with Leah first. I went to the place where I had first set my camp, intent on listening what they were talking about.

"I had been watching you." I heard him say.

"I know, I could feel your stares." Leah replied.

"Look it's difficult to find that a person has imprinted on you and you are probably her soul mate when you haven't even met with that girl before. But I am a werewolf and an immortal as well; I know it's difficult to find your true mate in this world. I am two centuries old and I still haven't found my mate, maybe you're right and we're connected through some spiritual bond but you're still a person who lives with a vampire out of her own violation… Don't try to stop me, let me explain… Like I explained, I've been observing you for the whole week. I've come to appreciate the person you are. You are a strong woman but still a friendly person. You have friends and I've seen you help many of them even in the short period that I have been looking. But my observation had been done in a practical way and I had no way to look into your personality except for the tid bits I've heard you say yourself. So I would like to know you, I want to try finding the happiness that many of us try to find our whole eternity. The only problem is your friend…."

"But she is not like other vampires." Leah said. I felt good that she was taking my side.

"Let me continue, I know she is not like other vampire, her eyes show me that. I've observed her too. She is different, she is new, I can see that but she has an impressive control over her instincts. But it doesn't help because she is still my natural enemy, I can't stay with you as long as you are with her."

I felt my breath freeze, I knew this would happen but it still felt like a whole brick wall had fallen on me.

"I've told you about my story but I should tell you something else too, about how I got out of it. I was miserable in the pack and I made everyone as miserable as me and when Bella was bitten, she saw me as nobody had seen me before. She saw the Alpha that I could be when I didn't even thought I could be Omega or Beta. She told me to quit whining about my loss, to quit with my excuses and start a new life out of all this. She told me that an alpha stays Alpha even if he/she lose their pack, it may be a hollow life but it's still a life of dignity rather than that of self-pity that I was going through. I may not have a pack of wolves by my side but I have a pack that contains her, she who had given me the power to become what I am. And if there is something that I've learned from my previous Alpha is that we don't leave our pack because it's our family."

I didn't how to describe the feeling that came over me. Leah never said anything like that to me. I know it was mostly because none of us was the type to say these things, these topics were awkward at best and embarrassing the least but right now, listening to those, I felt like my heart could beat again. I tried to control my emotion, even though it felt good to hear this but I couldn't let her lose her soul mate because of me. I knew her life would be wrecked if she let go of him.

I raced back to them and found them both standing in front of each other, their eyes hard without any emotions showing in them.

"Leah, don't make this mistake. You know it'll never be the same again. You can't let him go." I pleaded to her but she didn't turn toward me.

"Bella, 35 years before now you told me to become my own Alpha, that I did not need to become submissive to anyone. Are you now telling me to become submissive to a guy who can't see beyond his prejudice? Are you asking me to let go of the freedom and dignity that I have achieved in these years?" Leah asked without breaking eye contact with the guy.

I could not say anything to that. I didn't know if I could. I had been the one to tell her to choose a life for herself and not let others make decision for her but I did not think that we would be in this situation.

"Leah…" I started without even knowing what I could say.

"Let's go" She told me and turned, heading for the exit from the forest.

"Please, don't do this to her. You don't know how it feels, you don't how this will break her, please just don't let her go. I beg you… just don't let an old enmity ruin her." I whispered toward him.

I could not see her going through it all again. I couldn't let my friend go through what I have already gone through twice. I would do anything for her to get the one she had imprinted on even if I would have to beg for it.

"Bella, don't beg to someone like him. Come with me, we have our own life to live, I'll forget about him." Even when she said it, I could see in her eyes, the torture she was going through.

I followed behind her and left him standing there, alone in the forest.

The ride back to our house was full of the sadness that was now thrumming in us, every pore of me was screaming at the unfairness of all this.

As we got to our house, Leah quickly threw her bike on the road and went into the house; I could hear her closing the door of her room and the sound of sobs building in her chest. I dutifully took our bikes and parked them in the small yard that we had. I was feeling pretty numb myself about all this.

Even though I knew that it was difficult for her to come out, still she would need to eat, so I started making dinner for her. It was a good distraction but not much when I could think a hundred things at once.

I knocked on her door once as I finished making her dinner, letting her know that she could eat if she wanted. I was not going to push her, I knew she needed time. If she had been angry, she would have shifted to wolf but knowing that it was only sadness running through her system didn't help things at all.

I went in my own room and started the songs, wanting to numb my mind to the problems that we were facing right now and let myself drift.

It was over an hour or two later, when the sky had turned dark, that I felt a presence near our home. Since I had let my body numb, it had taken me a few minutes to realize that but soon I recognized it to be Silas. I became hopeful; I could feel that he was outside Leah's bedroom window so I stayed where I was. There was a pause to Leah's crying that had been echoing around the house for two hours and I heard her get out of bed and walk toward her window. I heard as she let the window open.

"Let me in your life and let me become your imprinted." I heard him murmur and him moving. I didn't have to see to know that he was kissing her now. I felt the fireworks going off in my head because Leah now had him and I felt so much happiness at the thought. I flew toward my door even though I knew that they would probably need privacy now. I broke Leah's lock as I darted toward her and hugged her.

"Yeesh, some pretty words for you and you get touchy feely, you still smell, idiot." Leah muttered but she was smiling and I smiled too.

Because she had her happy ending now and I had a new family to live my life with. I knew it was not going to be easy, him being werewolf and me being Vampire but I knew that I would do anything for her to make her happy; she was my family, my sister, after all.

 **Thanks for reading. Review even if it's criticism.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's another chapter. I am very, very sorry that it was so late. I know I promised you guys chapter every week but I decided I wanted to rewrite the chapters and I got busy last week with last minute work of school. I hope you forgive me for the delay. I can't promise you updates every week as I told you I am rewriting chapters again but I can assure you they would not be later than two weeks at latest although still no promise. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **I don't own Twilight or any of its character.**

It was the morning after the full moon that everything seemed to calm down. Living with a werewolf was not easy, living with a werewolf who had a temper to start with, awful and living with a werewolf who has a mate was downright torture to a soul.

When they had got together, Silas spent his full moons at his own home, apparently he had it already equipped with shackles and the like. The myth of them turning on full moon was unfortunately true, although not totally out of control but they tended to forget about the general rule of human civilization. Hiding beneath the normalcy, not going in the werewolf form outside and not attacking those poor people who are already afraid of him. It was rather easy for us to get used to those nights spent in his house, making sure he doesn't get out and do something in his inhibited form.

It was later when they had fallen in love, truly and wonderfully, that it became a torture. Apparently the rage inside of them when they are getting tear apart inside during the transformation can be changed into something else. Something that was fun for them and night of hell for me. After one particular night like that when Silas's yell of pain had turned into something much more pleasurable, I had enough. The vampire senses that were normally so wonderful for me were a torture considering I could hear everything. The awful and awkward morning after was something that I could not forget ever. I don't know how they did it with shackles on and I was never curious to know either. The images were enough to make my vampire body shudder and gag. After that I just stayed long enough to make sure that they are alright and then got the hell out of there. It was good that I couldn't sleep because I could already see the nightmare swirling in mind when I was awake.

It had been two centuries since we had met and got together. We were used to the full moon drama by now and it was nothing but a routine to us. I was sure that Leah and Silas got more out of it then me but I was grateful for that. No, I did not need that type of experience.

We had already gotten past the rivalry stage in our relation in the first century of being together in a family. I cared for Leah and he too so it was inevitable that we had to learn to live together. Surprisingly it became easy with the humor that kept running between us. My sarcastic jokes and his perverted ones always got us cracked in the end. He had already confessed that he thought of me differently after living with me but the strain that was still present had all but diminished because of a few jokes passed around and some effort from Leah. Sometimes though when it got strained one of us would leave to cool down our mind, it was inevitable sometimes, the fight would happen but they were rare nowadays. We were used to each other. Sometimes though it felt like I was their cook rather than a friend.

"Come on guys, I'm not your servant to take care of your food and take it to your bed." I said to them and knew that they could hear me from the basement below. It was the spot where we put Silas on the full moons while we were here.

"I thought you were paying the maid." Silas said his voice hoarse from sleeping and probably screaming all night too.

"Asshole, just get up and have your breakfast." I replied back.

"See that's what happens when you don't listen to me and continue to use that savage language. You ruined Bella's vocabulary." Leah said groggily.

"You're one to talk. Last night who was saying 'Fu…" There was a sudden cut off in the sentence and a suspicious silence downstairs.

I groaned, that was not something I wanted to hear or think about. Living with couple sometimes left you with ideas for suicide and living with supernatural couple, let's just say it was good that I hadn't died a thousand times by now.

"If any of you walked naked in the kitchen, I will never cook food for you." I warned because those experiences were still imprinted in my mind, unfortunately so.

"Now, she always ruins my plan." Silas said then I heard a rustle downstairs and knew that they would be getting up.

I put the last touch in my scrambled eggs as they walked in the kitchen, hair disheveled, stumbling in themselves and an unfortunately, now familiar smell stuck to them.

They must have seen my disgusted face because Leah rolled her eyes and Silas murmured under his breath that suspiciously sounded like 'Virgin'.

"I'm going upstairs to read my book and you're going outside to do grocery shopping after you're done eating." I told them.

"Why do we have to shop today?" Silas asked already pouting.

Grown-up kid.

"Because my friends the day today is sunny, meaning a free day for me and a lot of chores for you." I said, smiling gleefully.

They both groaned at that and I just beamed at them. Being a vampire was sure an advantage.

"Now that is cleared up, bye, hope you have fun." I said and went to my room upstairs.

Our house was again on the outskirts of the town which gave us freedom to do as we pleased. I didn't want to think about what the neighbors would say if there were any, about the noises on full moon. Or me climbing on trees like a spider or other things that we have fun doing. It was two storied where Drawing room, Living room, kitchen and Leah and Silas' bedroom made the ground floor. My room, a separate room for the times when the couple downstairs may get into a fight, a small library and meditation room for Leah made the second floor. Bathrooms were attached to each individual room. Considering the assets that Silas had been saving before meeting us and what we had saved for the past two centuries, it was easy for us to buy this house that could provide us this much comfort. The access to forest was a plus point and so was the seclusion.

I went to my room, mentally going through the list of books to choose from. I had already formed a quite cozy library, though the size of room was small but every surface was covered with books tastefully. Even the furniture that we had chosen had facility of putting books into them. It was a dream come true. I decided it had been a long time since I read Jane Austen so I as I got in, I crossed toward the section where her collection was. After a bit of consideration I chose Pride and Prejudice. It had been a long time since I had read how much Mr. Darcy admired 'A fine pair of eyes'.

It was later when I was on the part where Jane had gotten sick and stayed at Mr. Bingley's that I heard the front door opening and them making a ruckus as they went out to get the groceries. I heard the soft rumble of the car we had and the smooth moving of tires on the road. We all had our own motorcycle but when we had to buy groceries we always took car cause of the load that we would have to buy. Considering how much they ate, it became downright important to get a car.

When I read a part in which a pianoforte was mentioned, my mind immediately jumped to Edward. It was hard to not think about him whenever any kind of instrument was mentioned but it still bought a faint ache in my chest.

Two centuries and there had been no news of him. Not that I actually was looking out for them but it was still a long time to bump into each other. I had stopped picturing all the 'When's in my mind. Through the years I had observed in myself that it had become hard to remember the love I had for him. I knew that I loved him, I knew that we were meant to be together and maybe because he was always behind my thoughts that I never engaged in any activity with anyone else. I knew that in the end we would be together, when and how didn't matter when we had an eternity to live but it would have been better if it didn't take such a long time.

I reined my thoughts and focused on the book in front of me. I mostly liked to read the latter half of the novel but I often tortured myself with the wait. It made the reading that part all the more sweet. I loved the mutual conversation that they had. It was witty, deep and emotional. I loved how Jane Austen had tied all the loose ends together with little effort.

It was when I got to the part where Mr. Darcy had handed Elizabeth the letter that I heard them returning. I didn't realize that it had gotten so late but I bookmarked my page and got up. There was no creaking of limbs or protest of muscles by sitting still for a long time and it felt good because stiff limbs were something that I never missed.

I went down and was greeted with furious whispers. I frowned when they stopped as they sensed me near. It wasn't like we had many secrets between us except well my past that I still haven't told to Silas but I knew that it was just around the corner. One day…

"We're back." Leah announced with great flourish.

"I noticed." I murmured suspiciously.

My previous lack of acting had changed during so many years. Now I could lie or act effortlessly. It was somehow the second nature to me. It wasn't something that came natural to me. I had taken many lessons, meditated to make myself look emotionless on certain occasions. All this I had done because I had known what I wanted to do if I ever met Edward. I may still not know what to feel about him but I knew what lesson I wanted to teach him. Unlike me though, Leah still didn't know how to act so I knew that she was trying to hide something from me.

It was when we were in the kitchen and I was unloading the grocery when she approached me with the subject. Silas sat at one stool looking at me very weirdly.

"Bella, there was something I wanted to tell you." She said.

I put an impassive mask on my face and faced her. From her face I knew she expected some kind of extreme reaction from me. That was reassuring considering that I hardly got angry.

"Yes" I said.

"We were coming home when we took a detour and headed toward the northern part of the forest." She said.

I rolled my eyes.

"I don't want to hear what you guys did in the forest." I told them, mostly to tone down the tense atmosphere.

"We smelled another vampire." She said not wanting to derail from her point.

"Okay, did he threaten you or Silas? We can finish him today so he doesn't get the word out about Silas." I told her.

The thought of killing something would have made me faint if I were still a human but Silas being a werewolf and the amount of threats that I got from other occasional vampires to report him to Volturi was enough to make me harden and take out the vampires who dared to threaten my family. It was rare but I had killed enough to not flinch at the image of a corpse in pieces.

"Would you let me talk, Swan?" Leah snapped.

"Kinky but I'm not sure your boyfriend would like it if we got into some rough ones here." I said.

"Cullens are here." She finally snapped out at me.

"Oh" I said and stilled.

"When you said I will handle it, I didn't know you would handle it so beautifully." I heard Silas say to Leah. It felt like the voice was coming from some faraway place, from a tunnel.

I was thrown back into the past suddenly. It felt real too quickly, even though the memories had been muddy because of the human perception I had that time yet I lived in them through a haze.

One again I was in that cafeteria, the human faces that were once my friends surrounded me. All of them were now nothing but blurred images, their faces now a forgotten memory. I looked at those dark eyes that stood out because those were the things that I struggled to remember when I was first made into this bloodthirsty monster.

The hollows around them were still prominent; the weariness that oozed from their faces yet the gorgeous features of them still startled me. The noise around me faded and the scene shifted. I lost his eyes for a moment but then I was gazing into them again as we looked across each other. I couldn't remember the name of the place but I remembered that it was Italian and it was something of a first date that we had.

The day of questions and answers, the day when we had let go of any reluctance between us, or so I had thought. His amusement and my curiosity was something that I still left, the emotions muddled together in something that I felt nut didn't feel connected to.

One by one I visited my memories without any conscious thought, the images swirled until it was one blurry amalgam of something resembling an abstract art. Emotions painted in black, brown, green and blue. A weird combination but something that stupidly made some sense.

At last I stood in the forest knowing it was the end of something, something I never wanted to face. His lie that should have been so obvious but I was a mere human at that time, thinking of myself worthless but I know now why he did what he did but it didn't make the betrayal any less painful.

I closed my eyes, not able to face any of that again and when I again opened them I was sitting in my kitchen, the worried faces of Silas and Leah hovering over me. I was confused for a moment, the lights in the kitchen were on and there was darkness outside. Wasn't it morning right now? Have I been out of it for such a long time?

"I am so sorry Bella, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that." Leah said to me with tears in her eyes.

"It's okay." I said. My voice sounded distracted even to me.

"Can anyone tell me what is happening right now?" Silas asked.

I looked at him, he looked worried, there were crease lines on his forehead and it looked like he had bitten off his lip on more than one occasion.

"I think it's time to tell you my big secret." I said a hollow smile on my face.

He didn't smile back just looked at me intensely and waited for me to start.

The story was simple to form from another perspective, a girl moving in Forks with her Dad. Her meeting a vampire in her school, the slow descent in love that she had felt and the unnerving eyes that had followed her everywhere. The multitude of feelings that she had felt and knew that the vampire was feeling too. The game and the hunt, the injuries and then the peace. The birthday, the accident which had big consequences. The love that left for forever. The new starting of life, the friend, the sunny smile, the safe harbor, a try to love again and the love shown toward her and in the end, it all shattering like the pieces of glass. The imprinting taking another heart with it and the last attack that changed everything, the happy ever after taken from the girl and the new alone life she had to start.

By the end of it I was sobbing, Silas let me cling to him, his shirt bunched in my hands; he rocked me and murmured words of confidence in my ear. Leah joined us on the couch after finishing her dinner and hugged me. Even though I was a mess, I felt comforted between my family. I have accepted them and they had accepted me. I knew that as long as they were by my side, I would be able to face my past without breaking.

I let my sadness flow and didn't how much time passed before I was able to pull myself together. Letting go for one moment was okay but letting ruin me for days was not. I withdrew myself from Silas and straightened.

"I knew this day would come and I have to tell you something. Ever since I became a vampire, I knew that I would be with Edward again but I also knew that I would first make him learn a lesson. I want your help for that." I told them.

"We would help you in any way you tell us." Leah said and hugged me.

I smiled faintly, anything can come toward me but I would always have my family to lean on.

* * *

It was difficult curbing the anticipation that I felt. I knew that this would be the biggest day of my existence and my nerves were on flutter because of that. I couldn't seem to sit still, the thought of my plan was plaguing me every second and I tapped my nails on the kitchen counter at the sheer frustration of not knowing what would happen today.

"I would literally tear off your hand if you do not stop that." Silas threatened me.

I glowered at him but stropped myself. It was going to be okay. Everything would work out as planned, it would be difficult seeing all of them again but I can do it. I have the knowledge beforehand so that was a plus and I knew I could do it.

"You guys take half an hour to just eat the breakfast, would you hurry up?" I said.

They both raised their head and looked at me.

"No" They said unison and started eating again.

I growled in frustration. I saw Silas's arm stiffen for a millisecond but he resumed his eating after that. It was times like this, when I let my basic instincts take over me, he would stiffen as if he was between enemies. These moments still existed, even though we do not want them but I knew that they would take a long time to go away before we will be truly peaceful.

It was five minutes later when they finished eating and we got ready for school. Even though I didn't need it, I still deeply breathed and readied myself for the day forward. I saw Silas and Leah giving me an encouraging nod before we stepped out of the house.

Our bikes were in the garage and as I took my bike out of stand, Silas threw my helmet toward me. I caught it cleanly with one hand while still balancing my bike with the other. He took the other two and went to retrieve his bike from the corner. Leah's bike was beside his and as she extended her hand to get the helmet, he ignored her. He smirked and pulled the helmet on her head and then stood there for a minute staring, his forehead resting on her helmet.

"I'm very happy that I stayed that day." He murmured.

They didn't kiss because of helmet but the scene in itself was so full of love that I couldn't help but smile softly at them. They had come a long way.

I knew the reason for such declaration. Seeing the disaster that I had been yesterday, he would have been analyzing his relationship with her. It was what people normally do. When they see disaster in happening, they realize the worth of what they have. I was happy that even after two centuries they held what they had as precious.

"Chop, chop, love birds, we're getting late." I said, breaking them out of their little bubble.

Just because I think they look adorable together, didn't mean I didn't get to ruin their moments sometimes. The scowl on both their faces was always worth it.

We were on our way in less than a minute. Our speed was fast and for the outsiders we would have looked like we were some kind of Fast and Furious people. I enjoyed that comparison very much.

The ride to school was always small, in 10 minutes we would get there, that's why sometimes we just went for a ride around the city. The forest here was thick and the roads that ringed them were long. Running was awesome but riding on motorcycle was always freeing.

The expectation of a fast world had led to nothing, the hologram phones were the most that the future could boast about. The education system now had tablets rather than books and the gym had become difficult as every institution had one of those machines to check student's metabolism. In all there were small changes around the world but not like the books or movies would brag about.

We parked on our fixed spot and stood up, slinging our tablet bag over our shoulder. Before I could pull out my helmet, Silas stepped toward me and leaned very closely.

"Love, you forgot to lock your bike." He said.

I stopped. This was a signal that the Cullens were near us. He was playing the part that I had given him. I swallowed around my suddenly dry throat. I couldn't help the shivers that started in my body from the anxiousness that I was feeling, yet I knew I would have to do it right. Now that I knew I could sense them, they were a few yards away from us and had probably sensed us too.

I took a deep breath and readied myself, it was time.

"Get your eyes checked, it is locked." I said and pulled out my helmet.

At first I let my hair curtain my face while I looked down but then gathering my wits, I looked up. There was a sharp intake of breath and I knew it came from Alice.

They were all there, standing by a car that was the newest model of Volvo. Somehow it did not surprise me. We all prefer speed.

"There are some new people present here." I murmured as if I didn't know them.

I glanced at them to signal Silas and Leah toward them. They acted confused but then saw the Cullens and their expression neutralized.

"New coven in town, shall we play with them, Bella?" Leah asked, with a mischievous grin on her face.

Since this was a vampire coven infront of us, I was leader in this situation. If we ever come across Shape shifters or werewolves, the role of leader would always go to Leah and Silas respectively.

"Let them settle for now, we would have a lot of time to play later." I said and walked toward the school entrance, my back toward Cullens.

I did not glance back at them even once and Silas and Leah followed my example. I could hear the furious whispering going between the group.

"It was Bella." Emmett said.

"I thought we had gotten rid of her." I could never mistake Rosalie's voice.

"Don't talk like that." Alice snapped at her.

"She's alive." I heard Edward whisper out. Those two words were said like his prayers had been answered. His perfect voice was full of hope and at the same time had a melancholy set deep in it.

"You are forgetting something" Jasper and there was a silence, "She didn't acknowledge any of us."

After that I was in the school, the door closing behind me. I breathed a sigh of relief. The first part was done perfectly but there was many things yet left to do.

"I am getting late for English, so I'll catch up with you guys later." Leah said to us and sprinted off in another corridor.

"Your homework is done or not?" I asked Silas.

"Well" He trailed off.

I just rolled my eyes at him. It was not the first time he had neglected doing his homework. He always said that since we already know everything, it is unfair for other kids to compete with us. My opinion? He was just lazy.

"I'm sure you would have already done your homework, it's one of your favorite authors in the world." He said to me.

I did not refute his claim and just went in the class and sat on my usual seat. Silas sat beside me and rummaged his bag. He took out his tablet and a stylus. I was in no hurry, this teacher tended to get late often so I just took my book out, a thing that was out of place in the classroom of 23rd century.

While he did something in his tablet, I compared a few notes, thinking if I could make my project a little better, although I didn't need to but still, this was a subject that I was interested in very much.

As my senses alerted me to two vampires outside, I closed my book and looked at Silas. He nodded at me, already knowing that the scene of our play was going to start.

"What do you think of the recent coven?" He asked.

"I don't know. I think as long as they keep to their territory I won't have any problem. If they pose any threat, we'll just fight. It's not like we haven't taken out vampires before." I replied.

I heard a stutter in their footsteps; they might be listening to us right now.

"They look like you when it comes to eating habits; I think we won't have any problem from them. Well unless they are followers of rules then it can turn ugly." He said, his expression were comical even as he said that.

I rolled my eyes; it was difficult to play when he was trying to make me laugh.

"I don't think they are. Considering that they are defying vampire nature like me, I don't think they would have much respect for those who hold the rules either."

"And you still won't leave me in front of all this danger. You know your life would be easier if I wasn't here, creating a danger over you every second." He said. When I had told him what he basically should say, he had told me that I was being cheesy and I should stop watching soaps, which I had never watched in my life to start with.

"I have chosen you as my mate, Silas. I can face any danger and any consequence as long as I am with the one whom I love." I said to him.

So cheesy, he mouthed to me. I dug my elbow in his ribs.

From my peripheral vision, I saw Alice and Emmett enter the classroom. Their expressions were what I would call agonized. Even though the table behind us was full yet I knew they would persuade the students to empty it. Vampire charm came with its own positive point.

They were seated behind us in five minutes but we didn't acknowledge them. We waited for them to start the conversation; we had decided that they would be one to approach us.

"Hello" I heard Alice say.

I looked at Silas and blinked once, it was time to start the show with audience.

"Hello" I made my voice guarded and suspicious.

"I believe as a new coven, we should introduce ourselves." She said, Emmett sat silent beside her.

"Well it's not like it's our territory in the general sense of the word but I agree, it would be better if we introduce each other."

She smiled tightly at me but did not comment on my lack of knowledge of them.

"I am Alice Cullen and this is my brother Emmett Cullen." She said.

"I'm Isabella Swan and this is my mate Silas Hurst." I replied.

Alice's eyes narrowed as I uttered my name. Emmett though looked crestfallen at the knowledge that I had a mate. I smiled, this was going good.

"Can I ask what Silas is? I can't put my finger on it." She asked.

"I don't think we are that close for me to tell you, sorry." I said.

Before she could reply, the teacher swept in the classroom. We faced the front, leaving a tense silence behind us.

The hour was long and I was aware of the two people behind like I had not been aware of anything else. Every breath they took, counting 16 shuddering ones, every time they would whisper something that would unwittingly reach to us. Emmett had been ecstatic to see me but that was turning into depression soon as he realized I had not recognized any of them. Alice was the same, though she had some doubts. Apparently she had been having some visions of my future but they were in far in future, not in any recent years.

That made me curious, I hadn't meant to take this act too long but I was not worried. Her visions were full of holes as was proven in the past.

At last when the hour came to an end, we swiftly put our things in our bag but before we could get out, Alice stopped us.

"Do you mind showing us to Biology?" She asked me.

"Silas has Biology next; he would be able to help you." I told them.

They looked at him, measuring his form and probably the smell coming from him. I had two centuries to get used to their smell, my nose was now resistant to it.

"Thank you" She said and followed Silas as he started moving in other direction without saying anything.

"Do you need help getting anywhere?" I asked Emmett.

Just seeing him, made me remember all those days when I would visit Cullens and he would have fun with me. He had been like a big brother to me and I knew he must have missed me too.

"I have gym next." He said a small smile on his face.

"I am going in the same direction, you can come with me." I told him.

"So how old are you?" He asked me, probably trying to make small talks with me.

"Haven't you heard? Asking females there age can be hazardous for health." I replied.

He laughed at that but the laughter was off, it was not like the roaring ones I knew he mostly uttered.

"Well considering you don't have old age hanging over you, I thought it would be safe to ask." He replied.

"I am almost two and a half century." I replied, sighing.

He hummed thoughtfully. I didn't interrupt his silence. It was better if he saved questions for later.

At last we were at gym and he looked surprised that we got here so fast, I left him standing there while I made my way toward History. I would share this class with Leah; I was looking forward to know if she got in any kind of confrontation with the Cullens.

She already had a seat saved for me. She looked normal, indifferent to things around us. I saw Jasper sitting in the back of the classroom. I didn't know how they had planned this year but it looked like Jasper was posing as junior. I hoped that Rosalie wouldn't be doing the same, she was a complication and I think it would be better if I don't have to talk to her much.

I was wary of Jasper, he was a mood reader. Edward wasn't a danger for me when it came to his powers, Alice too, would be unable to see my future because of Leah and Silas. Jasper would be a problem because neither my shield nor my companions would be able to stop him from using his power on me. I just hoped that he take my wariness as something I would feel against any other vampire. It was natural for our kind not to trust others.

I looked at him for one second and went to Leah's saved seat. I frowned, I felt like there was something different about Jasper. Alice and Emmett had looked the same to me when I had looked at them but Jasper, there was something different and I couldn't put my finger on it. Maybe it was because he was alone rather than being with Alice, whatever I remembered about my past, I knew that whenever I saw Jasper, he would mostly be with Alice.

"How was English?" She asked me.

"Nothing special, two vampires of that coven introduced themselves to me and Silas." I told her, knowing Jasper would be catching our every word. I could already feel his gaze on me.

"One of them introduced himself in the corridors. His name was Edward." She said.

I frowned.

"Why do I feel like I've heard that name before?" I said.

"Oh please you've read too many classics to ask that question. I have no idea how you and Silas are together considering his taste and your taste are so different." Leah said.

"Maybe you're right. By the way, it's not about interest; it's about passion for each other." I said, thinking about Edward.

I knew that if I thought of Silas that way, I would figuratively puke, the horror in my mind would get to Jasper and he would know that something was not right between me and Silas. Leah though groaned at the image. She probably couldn't see it either without hurling out her stomach's content.

"How many times have I told you to keep it private?" She shuddered.

I laughed at that. After that we stayed silent because teacher came in and started a lecture on far reaching consequences of World War I. I already guessed that we would probably get the topic as our project. I was already bored, waiting for the class to be finished.

"We still have classes left, you know." Leah whispered to me.

I grimaced at that.

"I'm going to daydream for this class, nudge me if teacher get suspicious." I told her.

She rolled her eyes but didn't stop me from doing it.

I lost myself in one of my memories. I didn't know why I chose this particular memory but I guess reconciling with my past had me remember Charlie. It had been such a long time, I had heard that people got over their loss of human relation easily but I guess it was different for me. I had stayed in contact with Charlie even after my transformation. I couldn't think of just leaving him, without anyone there to comfort him. Renee had Phil but Charlie, he was alone. He didn't marry again and it always stung me, knowing that I had left him alone.

I remembered him visiting me for the first and last time after my transformation. He knew his last days were on him and he wanted me by him. I had enough control by then, Silas and Leah told me they would help me. Silas, at that time was still a stranger to me, not the big brother he was now and just wanted to save a human from me.

" _Bells" Charlie said, enveloping me in a hug. He looked like he was trying to take it all in._

" _Dad, I missed you." I told him, truthfully._

" _Not as much as I missed you." He replied, giving me a peck on my forehead._

 _I looked at him, I almost cried at the picture his appearance painted. I could feel how weak he was now. Once an officer, he looked almost bones and skin to me. His skin wrinkled on every surface, he leaned forward like his body was comfortable with only that position. His eyes were almost hidden under the wrinkles of his forehead. There was a slight tremble to his limbs that had never been there before._

" _Thank you for allowing your old man to come visit you." HE said._

" _I don't have to allow anything; you can visit me anytime you want." I replied._

" _Now, where's my room? I think I need to sit down."_

 _I laughed shakily at that. I supported his frame with my body, he was trying to not show his weakness but I knew that he was. He was just stubborn to not show his weakness infront of her daughter._

 _As we entered his room, I took him to the bed directly. I let him collapse a little on the bed and after a quick walk to the kitchen that he wouldn't even have noticed; I gave him a glass of water._

" _Thanks, Bells."_

" _Now you rest, I'll call you when it's time to eat." I told him._

" _Wait, Sit by me, it's been too long since I've talked with you in person."_

" _I thought none of us were the verbal type." I said._

" _I think I can afford to be a little more talkative in my last days." He whispered._

" _Don't say that, Dad."_

 _I felt a tear escaping his eyes. I knelt beside him, holding his hand._

" _I never stopped regretting it all. If you hadn't come to Forks, you would have a normal life. I could have saved you from all this, I want you to know that I always wished for your happiness alone, I never wanted all this to happen." He mumbled, a few tears escaping._

" _Dad, I don't want you regretting anything. All of those were my decisions. I don't regret anything except for having to leave you." I wished I could cry because at that moment, I wanted to. Charlie deserved some tears from me and yet I couldn't give him even that._

 _We stayed in silence, basking in each other's presence. At 95, Charlie was still alive but very weak. Renee and Phil were long gone; it had been a decade now since I had to deal with their death but Charlie? I didn't know how to deal with that. Even now I could feel his body growing weak by seconds, his organs one by one weakening._

" _Look at me, being sentimental now." Charlie said, chuckling to himself, trying to lighten the mood._

 _I chuckled shakily._

" _How was everyone back in Forks?" I asked him, trying to change the topic._

 _He sighed; I could feel his melancholy myself._

" _Everyone I had been friends with is long dead, truthfully I had been feeling lonely a lot. Jacob and his kids visit sometimes but it's not the same." He said and stopped abruptly._

" _I don't mind Dad, I am grateful he took care of you when I couldn't." I told him, knowing he was regretting mentioning Jacob._

" _He regrets it too, you know. I could see in his eyes, he didn't want it to turn out like this either. He comes to me and talk, we sometimes go for fishing. I feel like he is trying to fill Billy's place too. He is busy too with his job and family." He told me._

 _I felt a brief pain hearing all this but I knew Charlie wanted to talk about it. I would have done anything to keep him happy at this point and listening about Jacob was painful but I was willing. He looked so happy talking about Jacob's kid. Like he was their grandfather. I was sorry that I could never give him that happiness but he didn't mind, regaling me with stories about the pranks that they did or the pranks that they got into. Charlie, a police officer, sometimes helped them in some of the pranks. I could hear the fondness in his voice and I smiled slightly. He looked so happy talking about them._

 _It was two hours later that we stopped talking, he looked exhausted and I told him to sleep while I prepared dinner for him. I knew that Leah would be getting hungry; if Silas would come to the house then he would have probably eaten. He didn't trust me and didn't want to touch a thing that had my hands on it._

 _I cooked his favorite, wanting to make him happy at every moment. When Leah got back after spending time with Silas, she asked me about Charlie. I told her that he was asleep. She told me that Silas would be coming today, to meet Charlie. He was as close to parents as she could ever have so he wanted to meet Charlie._

 _Although I could hear Charlie very well yet I told her to keep an eye on him. Both of her parents were already dead so she understood my worries._

 _I was almost finished with dinner when there was a knock on the door. The hair on the back of my neck rose when I sensed Silas outside the door. I couldn't help my natural reaction to him as I was sure he wouldn't be able to either. It was a strained peace that we had for Leah's sake._

 _I laid out dinner on the table as Leah got Charlie to the kitchen._

" _I feel ridiculous infront of you strong girls." He muttered in embarrassment._

 _We laughed at that. I could guess what it would feel like to feel helpless and take help from others. He sat and sniffed appreciatively._

" _I missed your cooking all the time Bells." He told me._

" _I missed cooking for you Dad." I replied._

 _I also sat beside him. Silas stood there, looking unsure of himself. I almost laughed before I remembered that I had to be stoic in front of him._

" _I am Silas Hurst, sir. A friend of Leah." Silas introduced himself._

 _Leah giggled behind her hand._

 _Charlie used all his years of officers and wore an emotionless mask._

" _A friend?" He asked._

" _Err… yes?" He phrased it like a question._

" _Are you asking me about it?" He asked._

" _No, sir. I mean I am her friend. I mean her boyfriend." He stumbled through the explanation._

 _I couldn't hold my reaction anymore and snorted out a laugh. Leah joined me in that and after a while of staring strictly at Silas, Charlie gave up the fight and started laughing loudly. Silas too, knowing that he was being ridiculed laughed nervously._

" _Sit down young man. Enjoy the food." Charlie said._

 _Silas looked reluctant but I knew that he wouldn't refuse him. He sat on the seat stiffly, frowning at the food on the table._

" _So where did you guys meet?" He asked._

" _In school, I saw him and imprinted." Leah replied._

 _Charlie looked shocked but very happy at the news._

" _I am happy to hear that. Sue always worried for you on that front." He said._

 _A look of sadness crossed on Leah's face but when Silas intertwined his fingers with hers, she looked up and smiled._

" _I'm sure she is happy now." Silas said to her._

 _The rest of the dinner went just like that, talking, laughing and remembering things. At one point Charlie choked on his meal and I had a figurative heart attack. I was so afraid at that moment that when Leah tried to comfort me, I growled at her. Silas was not happy about that but I didn't care at that moment._

 _When the dinner was finished, they watched a game while I washed off the plates. I could hear Charlie's rumbling laughter at some jokes and I basked in those moments, knowing that soon they would end._

 _That night I sat beside Charlie and told him about my school and friends. He listened attentively, not bothering to cut in between. He just wanted to know that I was having a good life and I wanted to make sure that he will know it. Even though sometimes life was difficult yet with Leah and new opportunities, it was worth living._

 _After he drifted off to sleep, I sat there a little more, looking at him. I still couldn't reconcile with the idea of his death but I knew that it was something that I would have to accept. He looked so fragile, sleeping with one hand on his chest and other on the pillow._

 _I was in my room, working on a project when I heard the speed of his heart slowing. I stood frozen for a moment, not believing that it was happening so soon. I flung off my door, hearing the hinges breaking and the door tumbling down and ran toward Charlie's room. The distance looked so big even when I had vampire abilities. There was a hope in me that maybe if I got in time I would be able to do something but…_

A harsh kick under the table walk me from my daydream. I blinked, suddenly aware of the class I was in and Leah's worried gaze on me. Thankfully when the teacher glanced at me, I was already writing down his notes again. I bit my lip to concentrate on something else. I shouldn't have thought about his death here, even after so many years, there was pain left.

I distracted myself with concentrating on Jasper instead. I was sure that he had felt my anguish; there was some subtle change in his aura. Suddenly I found myself calmed; the anguish was far from me. I didn't understand what was happening until I looked behind me and found Jasper concentrating on me. I didn't if I was grateful or annoyed at having him playing with my emotions but I knew that he was doing this to make me comfortable.

Soon the bell sounded and I and Leah hurried with our bags to get to the next class. She sent me a questioning gaze and I mouthed 'Charlie' at her. Her lips turned into a straight line and she nodded. She put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it, giving her support silently. My next class was of Trig and I groaned at the idea. Although I had gotten good at it yet I was bored out of my mind by doing the same questions again and again.

I had this class alone and I was a little anxious about it. I didn't know if any of the Cullens were in my class and I also didn't know how I would be able to control myself. Leah smiled at me as we parted and after taking a long breath, I finally allowed myself to walk in my next class.

I felt the breath whooshing out of my nose. My dream and nightmare was there, sitting in the corner of the second seat in the left side. He was looking at me with the same dark eyes that had haunted me throughout my existence. His body was speaking of tension and his gaze looked like he was taking in my presence, trying to imprint it in his mind. I felt the walls around me start to shake at the apparent need for me on his face, I knew that if I let myself go, I would be in his arms in a second, without caring about the plan I wanted to follow.

I focused on my year of isolation as a human and then on the years that I had been a vampire. I saw him in the woods, telling me he didn't want me. I saw Jacob, seeing in his eyes the love he held for me, gone. I took my strength from it. I needed to make sure the Edward understood one thing before I got back with him. As I stared at him, he whispered in the same tone that I had heard before, like his prayers had been answered:

"Bella"

 **Please review and criticism is appreciated. Hope you liked it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A month late posting, i am ready for you all to killl me. Believe me i was trying to kill myself when i couldn't even finish the chapter but the last month got so busy that well, i just didn't get time to write but i am back now, hopefully.**

 **I hope you like this chapter, there are one or two left now. It feels good to post this chapter at last. If you find any mistake, please remember that i have no Beta.**

 **If anyone is interested in being my Beta then please contact me through PM. It would be better if the Beta would be willing to edit yaoi stories but just Betaing this one can work for me too.**

 **Enjoy!**

I stopped for a second, hearing my name. I didn't think my name on his lips would be something that I would get used to in the near future. If my heart was still beating, I knew it would be beating a fast rhythm. I felt trapped in between present and past and I couldn't decide where I wanted myself, which would give me more happiness.

I took a deep breath and frowned at him, walking toward the seat where he was sitting. He stiffened when he saw me coming toward him and I remembered the day when I had first seen him, so similar yet so different. His eyes bore into mine, looking for answers that had not even been questioned yet. Even though I was crumbling inside, I knew how I wanted it to play out. I was feeling my power leaving me infront of him but my determination kept me going. All too soon I was on the same seat as him and staring at him as he was at me.

"Hello, my name is Isabella Swan, I heard you calling my name." I said and paused, "Did your coven mate told you about me?"

He looked anguished, his brow furrowed, an internal fight going in his eyes and the way his mouth twisted as in pain.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him.

That seemed to wake him as he straightened out and changed his anguished face to a fake serene one. The tension still hadn't left his body.

"I am alright. Sorry for being rude, I am Edward Cullen." He said.

"Why do I feel like I've heard that name somewhere? Were you in Nepal in 2083?" I asked, sounding vague.

He looked sad again, his gaze dropping as if I had given him a very bad news.

"I don't think so, no. I was in France at that time." He replied.

"Must be my imagination, I think my friend Leah introduced herself to you. We have another in our small group, his name is Silas." I told him.

"I heard about him in Leah's thoughts." He said casually.

"Thoughts?" I asked, knowing he was fishing for some acknowledgment from me.

"I read people's thoughts." He said.

"Oh, sounds interesting, I bet you can't hear mine." I said, smiling.

He frowned, the same frustrated expression on his face that he always got when he was trying to explain to himself why he can't read my thoughts.

"You're right, I wonder why." He said.

"I'm a shield." I said.

"Ah" he said.

There was a look of comprehension on his face and it looked like he would be doing an internal debate on that so I decided to look through my notes, our teacher was as usual late and everyone was enjoying the few minutes before his arrival. I tried to concentrate on my notes but I could feel every fiber of Edward's being beside me. I felt so many different things at the same time. I felt a crushing pain, some kind of reminder of what I had gone through before this moment arrived. I felt like oxygen was coming back to my lungs after a long time. I felt like I would faint from the overload of it after years of abstaining from it. After years of living in illusion, I felt him bring reality into my world. His presence the only real thing, the only thing that I felt at the moment.

I was a statue beside him while all type of explosions and reactions were going inside of me. I had never thought that I would have such civil conversation the next time we met but here we were, introducing each other like we had met the first time all over again. The fantasies of how it would all go was gone and now reality was infront of me and I wasn't prepared of it. Even two centuries later I was weak in the knees at the thought of him but showing weakness was something that I could not allow.

When the teacher came I was already deep in my thoughts but I was sure he would not call out on me. I was known for having best grade in this class and he tended to call out weak ones mostly.

Mr. White called out Edward for introduction though and I could hear all the dreamy sighs from the girls in class. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. I knew I would have a high time snickering whenever someone asked Edward on a date. I already had an idea of how that would go.

It was a long hour when I could not help but concentrate on every moment that Edward made. Although considering he was a vampire, he did not move much but I was aware of him on many levels. I felt whenever he took a deep breath as if needing that extra oxygen in himself like me. The hairs on my neck stood up whenever I felt his glance at me and I just wanted to fidget whenever I felt him leaning just slightly toward me.

When finally I heard the ring of the class ending, I stood up fast. There was a nervous energy in me and I felt like I could run around the whole city or maybe continent. I tried to move normally so as not to give away my anxiousness, he again stared at me.

"Yes?" I asked finally.

"My family would like it if you could join us for lunch." He said to me.

"I'm pretty sure that humans here are out of questions for that." I said, smiling.

He chuckled at that but still looked serious in his request.

"Fine, I'll take my family to your table." I said and went out of the door before he could say anything else.

I was sure he knew that something was wrong but I knew that I could take care of that in lunch. I always had a backup plan for those mistakes.

I was planning to wait for them outside of their building but I found outside of mine and they told me that they had gotten the same invitation from Emmett. I was a little frantic and babbling in nervousness until Leah hit me on the head, hard. I collected myself and tried to get myself ready for the lunch. It would be better if I got all my nervous energy spent out but that was not an option right now. It would do no good if I disappeared mysteriously.

With all the confidence that I could manage, I led Leah and Silas toward cafeteria. The group of five was already waiting for us, with untouched trays in front of them. While Leah and Silas piled their tray with food, I tried to concentrate on anything else but it was hard to do so.

"Bella" A voice interrupted my thoughts.

I blinked and focused on the blonde girl infront of me.

"Sara?" I asked. She was one of the people that I normally talked with. She was also a great fan of Jane Austen and we often had long conversation about her books.

"I was trying to catch your attention from the morning. Are you alright?" She asked.

"Sorry, I guess I was a little distracted." I told her, trying to not glance at the Cullens.

"Okay" She frowned at me, "Guess what?" She looked excited suddenly.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"No need to be all skeptical. I was at a library in Portland yesterday and I heard that they were planning an exhibition of Jane Austen's letter there." She said, her voice getting shrill by the end of it.

"Wow" I said, making it seem like a big deal. Although I was excited about it but I had already gone through that exhibition a couple of times. Still, any reason for seeing a relic of past was a good enough excuse for me.

"I know. I think it'll be in a week or so. Do you think we can get out of the city for a couple of days, see the exhibition, prowl the big city and have fun in general?" She asked, bouncing a little.

"Sounds like a plan to me. It had been a long time since I get to go out of the city." I told her.

"You can invite Silas and Leah too if you want." She said.

"They and Jane Austen? I think I would leave their criticism at home." I said.

"Okay then, you and me, sounds like a date?" She said, looking at me mischievously.

"I think your boyfriend there would have some problem with that statement." I said, glancing at Gordon who was sitting with his basketball team.

Her mouth fell open at that.

"How did you know about us?" She whispered furiously.

I chuckled.

"There are no secrets here, darling." I murmured and turned from her.

I left her with her mouth open and walked toward the Cullens. Silas and Leah in tow while they talked about some project.

The nervousness made my stomach flutter, which was weird. It was weird being a teenager with love problems after living two centuries like an independent woman. I knew that Silas and Leah would be with me and try to save me from getting into any kind of situation that would end up badly.

We smiled politely as we sat on their table, looking at each other, waiting for something to happen.

"Hello, I believe I didn't introduce myself to you, I'm Alice Cullen." Alice said, breaking over the awkward silence.

"I'm Leah Clearwater, nice to meet you." Leah replied.

"I'm Jasper Hale, posing as Rosalie's brother. I am Alice's mate." Jasper said.

We nodded at that.

"I am Rosalie." Rosalie said and looked away, giving off the aura of someone who didn't care either way.

"I am Emmett Cullen, Alice and Edward's brother and Rosalie's mate."

"I am Edward Cullen."

"No mate for you?" I asked.

Everyone looked uncomfortable at the mention of that.

"I had one but I lost her." He forced out of his clenched mouth.

"I'm sorry." I said, making my voice tinge with sadness.

He smiled sadly at me.

"Well, I am Bella Swan; this is my mate Silas and my friend Leah." I introduced our little group.

Except for Rosalie, everyone's eyes narrowed at Silas like they were trying to kill him by looks alone.

"You're a werewolf." Edward observed.

My eyes widened at that. Were there any slip ups in their thought, they had told me that they had practicing controlling their thoughts. If Edward found out that mine and Silas's relationship was just a drama then this could ruin my plan.

"How do you know that?" I asked. Leah shot me a look that told me that the slip up had been intentional.

"Thinking power" Edward said and tapped his forehead.

"Bella, I should ask, was anyone there to explain you about vampire rules when you became one?" Jasper asked.

I knew that question should have made me defensive, it would probably have made Silas angry but I couldn't help but feel calm. Jasper was doing it on purpose and I couldn't point it out considering I shouldn't know about his abilities.

"No, I don't remember much of how I became a vampire but I do remember that I woke up from the pain and found Leah beside me." I said.

"I'm sorry to sound rude but it is considered bad if you associate with werewolves in vampire world." Jasper said.

I narrowed my eyes at him and calmed Silas by taking his hand in mine.

"I don't mind breaking some rules, I'm pretty sure everyone breaks one at least once." I said and smiled in a threatening way.

"I am just confused as to how Volturi still don't know." He said.

It was hard to hold back answers when I felt so much at ease.

"It's not like I phase in front of vampires, nobody had seen one in centuries so they don't even know what to look for." Silas replied.

"If by mistake someone does find out?" Jasper probed.

I smiled wickedly at Silas, he reciprocated the gesture.

"We take care of it." I said while smiling wildly.

I heard Edward take a sharp intake of breath and looked toward him, not knowing the cause of it. He was looking at me in horror.

"What happened?" Alice asked him.

"That would be me; I just remembered how Bella had looked while ripping off some of the vampires who were threatening my existence." Silas said easily.

I too remembered the night when there had been a group of 4, we had been outnumbered. It was a brutal fight and we had fought like savages. I had tear up any kind of limb I could get my hand on, my power was not an offensive one and I had been thankful that the vampires in that coven had not been gifted. I remember one particular moment when my teeth had been on another vampire's throat and I had ripped it out without a second thought. I had felt that no one could stop me at that moment, that I could destroy the world if I wanted with a flick of my wrist, I shivered remembering the blood lust that I had gotten at that moment, it was nothing like anything I had ever felt.

"These two are my family and I had learned to kill a long time ago for them. Anything to save family, don't you think so?" I said.

They looked at each other, the same look of horror on their faces that had been on Edward's face just a moment ago. I knew that they still thought of me as that naïve Bella but it was time to face reality. Living two centuries with a werewolf, in a world where their existence was prohibited, was not an easy thing. Most of the time we had been able to make it look like Silas was just another shape shifter because he became werewolf only on full moons but sometimes the meeting with stranger could happen on those days and we had to do everything in our power to keep ourselves safe.

"You can tell us if you have any problem with that, we don't like killing but it's always fun to get a good fight." I said, showing my teeth and winking at them.

Everyone looked shocked but in the end Jasper got his wind back before anyone else.

"We're not a fan of Volturi ourselves, so I guess you have nothing to fear from us."

"Another thing, although we restrain him properly and the new moon was just a couple days before but if you see a wolf running in forest, don't shoot him." I said, Silas snorted beside me.

"We'll keep that in mind." Edward replied.

"So serious, these guys are. Looks like we'll have to teach you how to have fun." Silas said.

This time Rosalie snorted derisively and Emmett cracked a smile.

"We have a lot of fun things to do too. There is shopping to enjoy." Alice chirped.

"Yeah, well that's not something we enjoy but if you guys ever wanna do a bike race, we would be interested." Leah said.

"I saw your bikes, they looked awesome. I would have to buy one for me too after seeing you driving it." Emmett replied.

The exchange between our families went like that and on the occasions when I could look at Edward, he was just staring at me, a tiny smile on his face.

All of a sudden Alice stopped talking, she looked lost for a moment then looked at us, smiling.

I instantly worried about what she could have seen and how it could affect our plan.

"Looks like you'll be coming to our house the next Monday." She said, excited.

"Huh?" I asked.

"She can see future and she just saw our family preparing for your visit at our home." Edward explained, eyes flickering between me and Silas, a look of confusion on his face.

"You can see future? Wow, I think this is the first time I've heard of that ability. So, like its set in stone or something?" I asked.

"No, things change when people change their action." Alice explained.

I frowned and made it look like I was thinking about it.

"You guys should pick up your pace; the break is going to be over in 10 minutes." I said to Silas and Leah noticing that they haven't eaten much.

"I forgot, meeting new people always distracts me." Silas said.

It was silent when they went back to their food. I could almost see the questions floating around us but we all knew that it was not setting for them. Maybe they needed their own time at adjusting to the presence of someone from past. I was willing to give it to them.

After finishing their lunch and the ring, we all stood up to leave. Alice accompanied me to Biology, Sara also tagged along because we normally went to that class together. I heard them talking about the town and school, I was afraid that Sara would invite Alice too but thankfully she didn't.

The rest of the day was same; Cullens seemed to stick to me whenever anyone had any class with me except for Rosalie. They asked me questions here and there and I answered evading some of them that got too close for comfort.

When the school ended, it was a relief to me. Silas, Leah and me had already planned for a motorcycle race because they knew that I needed to let some of the nervous energy out. It had been a long time since we had one so all of us were excited for it. Silas did the same thing with me that he had done with Leah that morning; I tried to think about Edward at that moment because I could sense Jasper in the parking lot too.

"Come on love birds, it's time for us to go home and for me to beat you again at racing." Leah said.

"Oh please, I can easily remember the number is still in my favor." I said to her.

"At least I don't use my supernatural speed to slow down others bike." Leah replied.

"Well considering it was once, I would knock that one out. What's the score then?" I asked smugly.

"Come on girls, we all know that who here is going to win. You are going down." Silas said.

We scoffed at the same time.

"You have the lowest wins yet I commend your confidence." I said.

"Yeah well, fuck off." He said, scowling.

"Real mature love, I hope that anger helps you today." I said, grinning.

"We'll see" He said while growling.

"Yes, we will." I said, stepping close to him and growling myself.

"Guys, you're making a scene in parking lot. Can you wait till we are at our house?" Leah said.

"Wanna have a fight after the race?" Silas asked, smiling easily.

"You're on." I replied.

Leah sighed beside us but thanked god when we finally got on our motorcycles and started the engine. The last thing I saw before leaving the school ground was Cullens standing by their car and the shocked expression on their face.

It was when we were in the second half of the race when it started getting ugly. Having supernatural abilities made us prone to doing things that could have been fatal for any human being but were minor things for us. That meant we often cheated in a way that could end up any of us crashing or the bike going out of control.

I kicked Silas's bike when it came behind me, trying to reach gears in my bike. He would have stopped my bike in between speed if I hadn't kicked him on side. His bike swerved sharply and he had to lose half a minute to get it under control. I saw Leah in front of me and raised the speed, when i was close enough to her; I handled my motorcycle handle with one hand while leaning down on Leah's side. I made a claw out of my hand, ready to puncture her motorcycle's tire but she took a sharp left and went in the forest, I cursed but steadied my own bike and raised speed again. Silas was now beside me but keeping distance. I saw a stick in his hand,. I knew that he would be aiming for my tires too, trying to get it in between spokes but I changed gears and skidded in the dirt path of the forest. I couldn't see Leah because she was still in the woods of opposite sides; Silas had increased speed now and was ahead of me. I growled, this one was going to be a difficult one.

I went further in the forest, knowing that soon there would be a bend in the road so I made a bee line straight to that path, it would give me a few seconds headway. Unless Leah already had that idea and was following through it too. Considering we had been doing this for two centuries, it was possible that she would have done it already. I needed to speed it up more. A thought flitted in my mind to just pick up my bikes and run with it but that didn't sit right with me so I just changed gears and speed it up again. I was soon on the road again, Silas was behind me, although I couldn't see him yet, I could hear him. I heard Leah ahead of me, I could still make it, there was hardly a mile left now, it could turn any moment. Silas again came beside me but now that the distance was less, we concentrated more on the race then on cheating. I was just behind Leah now, I was sure that we would have been just blur for humans at that moment. I went full throttle in the last second, Leah and Silas doing the same and soon we crossed the last line. Unfortunately I was a second late and since Silas too was a second behind me, I could just imagine the whole evening of smugness from Leah.

We cut off our engine and parked them at the side of the road.

"You and Silas are such cheating idiots." Leah said.

"You were the one who started it in the first half." I said.

She smirked.

"Because I already knew that you guys become desperate in the latter half only."

Silas and I both growled at her and sensing that we were going to tag teams her, she backed away from us. We easily chased her, i could see the trail she left behind her because of the scent and because of all the clothes that were lying on the ground that she would have stripped off. She was in the mood for a good fight, it looked like.

"Try not to think of her as naked, Cullens can come in the range any time." I hissed to Silas.

"Just shield us; it's hard to do that." Silas whispered back.

I sighed at him but did as he told me. I extended my shield to Leah and maintain the same distance with her. We already had a good place where we went whenever we were in the mood of breaking trees and rocks with each other's bones.

I saw the small lake before we hit the edge of the forest; Leah was waiting there, growling, her hackles rising against the excitement of the fight. Soon we were all in the small clearing; the rocks jutting out around the lake looked sharp and were actually painful when they impaled certain parts of our body in the fights. We always fought pretty brutally; it gave us good practice for when there would be real challenge infront of us.

I was shocked to find that Silas sidled with Leah as soon as he saw her.

"Come on, you know it's not fair if we both go against her." Silas said.

Leah snorted at that, putting pressure on her hind legs to jump, Silas too got into position beside her. I let out a feral growl as warning, none of them even blinked at the raw voice of it.

Leah was the first one who attacked, in a second she was infront of me, attacking my throat, it was easy to sidestep her but I knew that it was only a distraction, I soon felt Silas jumping above us both to come from behind me. I felt the air swish around and dodged, prying Leah's body away and swinging her in the direction of the punch that was coming toward me. Silas stopped just an inch away from her stomach and went again in his position. I knew that it would be better if both of them stayed together rather than attack me from two sides. Keeping eyes on both sides with the way we fought was a difficult thing. This time it was Silas who came at me, using his martial arts training to good use and flipping in the air in the last minute as I pulled a round house kick at him. He stood on his two hands and put both his legs around my throat, forcing my feet up and flipping me. I used the momentum of flip to pry away from his legs and side step as Leah went for my arm. I heard the tear and felt the little pain as she came away with a big scratch. I growled angrily and rushed toward her, intent on throwing her out of the filed or on the rocks but Silas beat me to it as he knocked me over with his muscular power and put his whole weight on me so I was pressed against a sharp rock, it slid into me, partially impaling my stomach. The pain made me gasp but I didn't let it stop me.

With renewed vigor, I elbowed him harshly and taking his head in my hands bashed him against a blunt rock, making a line of blood flow from where it had hit. I looked at him, making sure that he was disoriented for a few moments and that the gash was closing fast. Leah was already on the move, circling me around while running fast. It was a trick she adopted when she was looking for maximum damage; it allowed her to attack when the victim was trying to make sure of her movements.

She came at me from different sides, scratching me now and then. It was difficult to break her out of the circle she had created, the next time she stepped out of the circle, I aimed a kick at her stomach, she dodged but not completely and my kick landed on her face. I heard a sickening tear at the same time and saw that the foot that I had sued for kicking was now missing. I grimaced, joining limbs back was always a messy business.

The fight continued in the same fashion, Silas came back to his sense just after five minutes. The duo made it difficult for me and my limbs to stay connected but in the end, when we saw the darkness overtaking the sky, I was still able to be the only one standing. I limped through the ground to find my foot and attached it, using a little of my venom. It was difficult to find my left ear but I found it too, under Leah's bulky weight. After that I crumbled in between them. We had trashed the cleaning and ourselves but it felt amazing, like euphoria. I felt contained; the monster in me was in the back of my brain again.

Silas looked at my ruined shirt, the big hole when the stone had ripped it was red, and he started laughing. There was nothing funny in that moment, yet as he threw his back and laughed, I couldn't help but join. Leah started snickering and snorting too. It had been too long and it felt freeing to indulge in our base nature. I wondered what Charlie would say if he saw me fight like savages but didn't let it bother me. It's not like he would mind that I was learning to protect myself.

"I think that have satisfied me for a whole year, this one was pretty bad." Silas said.

"You shouldn't have impaled me; you know how much work it is to clean those kinds of wounds." I said.

"Well you bashed my head afterwards so don't think I would apologize." Silas replied.

"Why is that I always end up missing my limbs after fighting with you?" I asked Leah.

"Well, it does limit me when my lethal weapon is my teeth so…" Leah replied.

I grumbled about over smart shape shifters.

I felt a presence entering the clearing, I looked at Silas and Leah, they seemed alert but we didn't bother standing up. We already knew who the people were. I leisurely stretched out, my shield blanketed Silas and Leah, knowing both of them to be spent out to try to hide any kind of thoughts.

"I hope you're not here to discuss English project, I'm beat." I said as I sensed Emmett entering the clearing.

He chuckled.

"Not at all, I just heard a good fight. I guess I am late for the party." He said, observing us.

I sat up, stretching a bit. I looked behind Emmett and saw another Cullen standing there. I curbed my shock at seeing Carlisle after such a long time. He was merely looking at our trio and smiling that small smile that I remembered seeing on his face most of the time.

"A tad bit, I would challenge you but I think my bone would take a bit longer to heal." Silas said, indicating to his arm that I had crunched mercilessly.

"You break each other's bones?" Emmett asked, shocked and weirdly gleeful.

"A good fight doesn't happen without a few bones getting displaced and broken." Leah drawled as she also sat.

"If you don't mind, I can see to your injuries." Carlisle said, stepping forward.

"Who are you?" I asked.

Carlisle looked taken aback by it but he composed himself.

"He is our coven leader, Carlisle Cullen. He had started working in the local hospital recently." Emmett introduced.

"A vampire working in hospital sounds weird." I mused.

Carlisle chuckled but didn't say anything.

"It's always a thrill going against one's nature." He said.

"It looks like he's our type." I said to my group.

"Care to elaborate?" Carlisle asked.

"Well, I am a vampire trying to not drink human's blood, living with my supposed natural enemies while they do the same, it's as far as one can go against their nature." I explained.

"I suppose so."

"Well, sorry but we had been going at it for hours now so I think it's time I give my wolves some food and put them into bed." I said, standing up.

"Alice told me she had already invited you but as I am the coven leader, I would like to invite you too." Carlisle said.

"Well I'll be happy to come. I had hoped that our coven could stay in peace at this place." I said.

"Well, your coven is very… different and I have always been curious about different natures so I have to agree that I do want us to have a peaceful relationship." He said.

"I am Bella Swan, by the way, this coven's leader."

"I wonder…" Carlisle said but stopped.

"You can wonder." I said.

"I was just thinking that it's weird that you have two wolves in your… coven yet none of them compete with you for the title of Alpha."

"Actually, we are all independent when it comes to that but since we all are of different origins, we had decided that when we meet any kind of visitor of any of our species, the one who is of the same species would be counted as leader, at least infront of them."

"That sounds like a reasonable arrangement." He responded.

"Well, we are reasonable people." Silas snorted at that.

I knew what he would be remembering, all the moments that we had been just the opposite. It had led to some big fights, we had been lucky that we came out of those fights with all our pieces intact.

"Well, we have to go but it was nice to meet you" I said, stepping forward to shake Carlisle's hand.

He grasped my hand and shook once, his eyes boring into mine.

"I look forward to seeing you on the coming Monday." He said.

I nodded and ran out of the clearing with Leah and Silas, leaving Carlisle and Emmett, standing underneath the moon.

The weekend was near us before I could even blink an eye; at least it looked like it. The routine that we had been accustomed to had been changed dramatically. We normally stayed together in class and lunched together too but separate from others. Although we were social with other students, sometimes even going to movies and such but humans had an instinctual fear of us so that served for us being otherwise isolated. When the Cullens came, that changed. In any class that we had, we would meet a Cullen or two. They always stayed by me or my family, talking and generally making it so that we became friends. Often they would drop in hints or two, trying to get a reaction from the mentions of my past but I easily side stepped them. Being a vampire gave you enough concentration to know when you were getting trapped in situations or words.

It was easy to see that they were trying to make me remember. It was even funnier to see how they tried to leave me alone with Edward. They often found excuses for that, class project, bike or game talking and anything that would take Leah and Silas's focus from me. Edward easily took advantage of the situation but more often than not, I would leave him with the same agonized expression that I had witnessed on the first day. I didn't give any indication to his advances, subtle as they were. Silas also subtly always reminded Edward that I was with him, He was exceptional at hiding his grimacing face, except for when we were at home and Leah would be recounting all the embarrassing things he would have to say to me in front of Cullens. I knew that the only reason Cullens were not approaching my household was because they knew that I would know instantly. They wanted peace and they couldn't afford the blame of stalking anyone of us.

"Bella, I wanted to see your bikes thoroughly, do you mind if I come to your house tomorrow to have a look?" Emmett asked one day.

I looked up at him; he was leaning beside my desk and had a playful smile on his lips.

"You don't have a class here right now." I said.

"Oh well." He said and chuckled.

I rolled my eyes at him, not caring if he got into trouble.

"You can go there but I am going out of town, look at Silas and Leah's bike but don't touch mine." I told him.

"Out of town? Where?" He asked.

"I am going to an exhibition with a friend." I said.

"Boring" He said.

I rolled my eyes again and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'm sure Edward would be interested in exhibition, he is old school." He said nonchalantly.

"I think we all are old school here but no, my friend wouldn't like last minute addition. I hope that you don't give that idea to Edward though." I said.

He shrugged and straightened when we both heard Mr. William's footstep in the corridor outside, with a final two finger salute he was gone.

I looked at Jasper who was sitting in the last seat again. Other than him everyone always sat beside me. I didn't why that was considering that I was a vampire now and he shouldn't have a problem with me.

He smiled at me, I felt amused and I knew it was Jasper's doing. I shook my head and concentrated on my tablet.

By the end of the day, I was relieved to know that I was taking a break from all the tension surrounding me. The coming of Cullens had made me strain over every moment, if I were human, I would have needed a thorough massage but I was just happy to get a way out of town and enjoy the city, not that I had any love for big cities but the distraction there were always welcome when I got too stressed.

"Bella" I heard Sara call out.

I turned to find her running toward me, a big grin on her face.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"We are going to Portland, isn't that good enough news? I am so excited." She said, practically squealing.

I chuckled at her enthusiasm and steered her toward the car parking area by taking her elbow.

"My bag is packed and ready in our car, I will be driving with you to your house and we'll go out as soon as you're ready." I told her.

"That's why you brought the car and not the bike. I was missing them today." She said.

"You can ride it if you want, I can always teach you how to." I said.

"Someone already promised me to do that but thanks for the offer." She replied beaming.

"And who would that be? Should I be worried about the competition for your heart?"

I laughed at that.

"Then should I be worried about the bronze haired handsome face that's always staring at you?" She said, mischievously.

I looked at her shocked.

"You didn't think I would notice, did you? When he looks at you, I think everyone can see how much he is interested."

"Well sad but I'm not interested." I gritted out.

I didn't know how she had found out but in the end it was very obvious how Edward had been looking at me. I had heard murmurings of students, talking about it. Leah and Silas had never showed any couple behavior when in public. We just stayed three friends who were braving high school without parents support. It was mostly because of Leah and Silas's own amusement. They liked to hear the crazy theories that everyone came up with, not that it didn't made me laugh too.

"I haven't seen you with anyone else, are you not interested in anyone?" She asked.

"Sara, there is so much to life than finding a life partner and living with them. I would like to explore the world without worrying about going back to home for someone who might be waiting for me there."

"That weirdly makes sense. Now, too much heavy talking, we are now just going out of the city to have fun and be silly." She said, jumping as she walked.

I smiled at her and walked behind her, aware of the eyes that followed me.

"I am so exhausted." Sara groaned out as soon as we hit our room.

I chuckled at her drooping shoulders. We had entered the city two hours before and had taken a small tour, visited the library where the exhibition would happen and spent half an hour just walking around a little. For a human, it sure would have been exhausting so I let her collapse on the bed and made it look like that I was exhausted too.

"I am going to hit the shower first; I can't sleep with all the days travel on me." I said.

I left my phone on my bed and looked through my bag for the change of cloth. The room was good for us. It wasn't too small or too spacious. With two separate bed and enough necessities for the guest was what we could afford, or at least Sara thought it was what we could afford. I couldn't tell her about all the funds I had saved after two century of my life; we were supposed to be orphans who were getting just enough money to survive.

I looked out the window, it gave us the view of the back of the hotel, nothing but some old buildings but the way streetlights cast the shadows in the niches made me imagine the creatures there that didn't even existed. I had felt the presence of Jasper on more than one occasion. I wasn't sure what he was doing tailing me but I decided to wait and see what he wanted from me.

It was after the shower, when I was drying my hair when I felt his presence again. I frowned, this time he was coming toward me, I was sure of that.

I didn't have to wait long; a face replaced the view of old building through the window. The blonde curls glowed under the street light and his face again looked different to me.

"Come outside, we need to talk." He said in a whisper and left. I could hear him outside of the hotel.

I got out of the hotel in the normal fashion, through the front door and found him standing by Sara's car in the parking.

"What are you doing here?" My voice sounded defensive even to me.

"I know you remember us." He said.

I stood shocked. Had my plan fallen? Do all the Cullens know now? Why had he come talk to me when it could have been anyone?

"I don't know what you're talking about." I forced myself to say to him.

He smiled ruefully.

"Your shield was never effective against me. Edward can't read you and sometime she can't read your partners because of you. Alice can't see werewolves, she find her vision blank when any of them are included but I know every second how you are feeling.

"The first day we had seen you, I knew you had been affected by us and not like how a vampire is affected by other vampire in vicinity. There had been anguish and anger in you but the most dominant one had been nostalgia. But when you started talking and made it like you didn't remember us, I knew there was something wrong. It was good that Edward was distracted or he would have found out about you in that instant. Since then there had been an exasperated fondness you show toward Alice that you always did before. Whenever you look at Edward, there is a feeling of longing in you. I know that you still love him, I just don't understand why you're doing what you're doing."

"Have you told the other Cullens your hypothesis?" I asked.

"No, I know that you are trying to do something and I don't want to ruin it, I…" He stopped; he looked like the words were choking him.

Suddenly he collapsed on the asphalt floor, taking out a part of the floor when he dug his finger in it.

"I ruined everything; I ruined you and Edward, your happiness, just because I couldn't control myself. I look at Alice and feel guilty not just because I ruined her friendship with another but because we are happy and together. I had to look at Edward for two century, see him as good as dead, knowing that it was my fault. He felt so much grief that I welcomed it. I welcomed the feeling of drowning because I knew that I deserved it."

I looked at him, a far cry from the person I had seen when I had first met him. He looked defeated, my heart cried at the image, what had happened to us was meant to happen and even I knew that.

I kneeled by him.

"Jasper, you didn't do anything. We would have to face it in the end. It was meant to blow in our face one way or the other. It was not your choice, Edward choose to leave me. What happened was nothing but accident and they happen. It is no one's fault." I said, trying to soothe him.

"I ruined everything Bella. For two centuries I had to look at it. The result of my action. When we got the news that you had died and because of Victoria, it was darkest of the time. I could feel him die, the numbness that he felt, I could feel it too. I welcomed it too you know. Alice couldn't see you; there was nothing there, no future."

He then looked at me; the anguish on his face was worse than on Edward's face. I could understand that. Edward had to feel my separation for this whole time but Jasper had to feel that and the added guilt of thinking that it was his fault. I never thought about him, never blamed him for anything. I didn't realize that there would be someone else who would think that it was their fault. And to see him like this, broken on his knees, I couldn't bear that. Jasper didn't deserve this.

"You had to change because of me; you had to become a killer like us because of me. I never wanted anyone to have life like me, a life full of killing but I pushed you into this." He said.

"Jasper Stop right now." I forcefully said.

I made him look at me, making sure that he was listening.

"I won't lie to you, when Cullens left, I died from inside. It was a difficult life for me. Victoria bit me but I don't regret these two centuries. I have become what I am because of those. I love the new me that I am. I had gone through many things but they had made me stronger. If you're going to take responsibility then take responsibility of creating this new Bella. I owe this to you if you're going to take the blame. I am grateful to have Leah and Silas and I am grateful that I have found all of you again."

He looked at me, I knew that he wouldn't forget about everything just now, I knew that we all need time to figure things out but I also knew that we had more than enough. Everyone would heal but we would need each other for that.

"What are you planning?" He asked me, standing up.

He looked more composed now, his body had stopped shaking and his eyes looked sharp to me again.

"That's not for you to know. I have learned a lot in these years and I want Edward to learn something too. I can't be with him knowing that he would try to leave me the first time he sees me in danger because of him." I said.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yes" HE said.

"Since I first saw you in the school, I know that something is different about you but I can't put my finger on it." I said.

HE smiled at that.

"Try to remember how I was before." HE told me.

I frowned but did as he said. I remembered seeing him first time in the cluster of five beautiful students. I remembered taking note of their beauty and of the dark circles under their eyes, sitting away from other students. Jasper and Rosalie had looked like each other but whereas Rosalie had looked comfortable, Jasper had been stressed, stiff, knowing that he hardly had any control on his thirst, knowing….

"Oh" I said understanding what was so different about him.

"After that incident, I became resolute. I had reason for staying away from human blood before but when I saw our family breaking in half, saw how my lack of control had affected everyone, I decided to change that. These two centuries I did nothing but practice on my self-control. I guess my decision not only changed you but me too." HE said and chuckled.

I smiled at him, happy knowing that Jasper was at peace now. He always looked so conflicted before but now, even after baring his soul infront of me, he looked serene.

"I should go now." He said.

I looked at him, talking to him after all these years, discussing how everything has changed had left me feeling good. There was someone to discuss the past, Leah wasn't there when I had been with Cullens and the link that Jasper made had become important to me.

"Stay, come to the exhibition with me and Sara." I said to him.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because we both need this." I said and smiled.

He agreed after a little thinking and I left him to make arrangement for him.

When I came back in my room I saw my mobile's blinking light. There were two missed calls from Leah. I called her back.

"Hello" I said.

"Edward knows about me and Silas." Leah said to me.

I processed that in, Edward now knew about Leah and Silas so it would mean that either he would think we had been playing from starts or maybe that Silas was cheating on me. I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

I smiled.

"Everything is going according to the plan, Monday is going to be the show time." I said.

 **Review and criticism both appreciated. Thank you for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**So, I am late again and by a big margin too. Let's just say my writer's block was more of a mountain and my imagination had taken a vacation. I hope you forgive me for my lateness and read this chapter without any nasty feelings toward the writer cause seriously I am doing all the self-loathing for all of you.**

 **I hope you like the chapter; I don't know what I have done here.**

 **NOTICE: I want a Beta, like really, really need one. If anybody is interested in becoming my Beta, they can PM me. Thank you!**

 **Disclaimer: Nothing of Twilight belongs to me. Silas though belongs to me, although sadly he is not my type. The world is cruel that way.**

It was the next morning that Jasper met us. He acted surprised at seeing us and enquired as to why we were there and Sara excitedly told him about exhibition and getting out of town. She looked awed by him, a natural reaction to vampire beauty and kept giving me meaningful glances like she was suspicious that I had invited him. When he told her that he was also here for the exhibition, she squealed and started talking fast about their plans and if we could cooperate all them and enjoy this weekend together. We let her talk it out, it was clear she was very excited about all of this. Considering the small town and how her parents were the strict kind, I was not surprised by it. She probably didn't get to go to places enough.

It was in the middle of her planning to go into a club, even though she was underage, that Jasper's phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at it and excused himself. Sara was too into her plan that she let him go and started explaining it to me. I tuned her out and tried to listen to Jasper's conversation.

It was Alice.

"Jasper, get out of there." Her voice sounded stressed.

I frowned, has something happened to Cullens or one of them.

"Why? What happened?" He asked.

"Edward's coming your way. I saw the conversation Bella had with you and if you stayed he'll find out about it too. Whatever Bella's planning is important for future and we can't afford for that to happen." She said.

Damn it! Now Alice knew about it too. I should have taken more precaution. How could I have forgotten that since neither Leah nor Silas was with me so she must have seen it happening?

"Okay, what's the plan? If we are going to hide it from Edward we both can't be in his presence." Jasper said.

"I have already planned everything." Alice said, "You just meet me near the northern border of that town."

"I'll be there in an hour." He said.

"Oh and Bella, we'll talk about this." Alice said.

I smiled; of course she knew I was listening. I saw Jasper smirking at me.

I thought about what Alice had said. Edward was coming here, I should have known that he would come to me directly rather wait for me there. At least everything was going smoothly. I was a little anxious because it was all coming to this end and I didn't knew what would happen. I know he would be angry when he gets to know about my plan but that would come later. For now, I just wanted see the plan through.

"I'm sorry ladies, I have to go. It looks like I wouldn't be able to enjoy the exhibition with you." Jasper said.

"Oh no, what happened?" Sara asked.

"Girlfriend called, apparently she got herself in a problem but you guys enjoy." He said.

"I wish we could have roamed the city together but well can't do anything about it, can we?" Sara said.

"No, we can't." He said and smiled.

I heard Sara gasp and smothered my laugh. It seemed Cullens still used beauty to mesmerize people. Jasper bade us goodbye and made a hasty exit. Sara looked disappointed but perked up again when I reminded her that we were getting late.

It was hard to control my anxiety, Edward was coming here to talk to me about Silas and Leah, and I knew I had planned this but still I felt like it would be difficult. Planning it in theory and doing in reality were two different things. I felt nervous at the possibility that something may blow out. I breathed deeply and tried to calm myself, getting nervous won't help at all and it would be better if I get into the spirit of a learner or Edward would pick on my anxiety. I extended my shield toward Sara, she had seen Jasper and if Edward found out about him then he would get suspicious.

While pursuing Jane Austen's letter to her sister Cassandra, I felt him. I could pinpoint his exact location on my right upstairs, probably watching me. I ignored him, I knew that he would have known that I knew he was here but for some time I just wanted to ignore his presence and get lost in the classic world in front of me. So simple yet so complex, every life that had to be lived, every lesson they created that we were repeating.

Every mistake that had great consequences in the future.

For once on this trip Sara remained silent, looking at the letters like she wanted to click its pictures in her head. Her gaze didn't stray from her subject and she looked so absorbed in them that I remembered my own first time with those letters. I had been so into them that Silas and Leah had gone and did the deed and I haven't even found them missing until they told me themselves and mocked me for my absent vampiric abilities.

It was a long day filled with discussion about parts of letters, books in the library, speculation on Jane Austen's life and miscellaneous things. At the end of the day we slumped on our bed and ordered room service, Sara not having any energy to move and go out. It was silent dinner and before i knew it, Sara was lying and lightly snoring, curled on her right side, assuming a vulnerable position.

I sighed and got out of the room, knowing I could not ignore the presence in the background. Edward had been behind us the whole time, always staying out of sight and giving me a signal when I had happened on catching his glimpse once for a second. I knew he would be getting impatient by now, he had been waiting whole day, his impatience was shown through many audible sighs and scuffle of his shoes on different surfaces. For someone who was trying to be so invisible, he sure made a lot of noise.

While looking at the exhibition, I had been thinking all that I wanted to reveal and all I wanted to hide. It still wasn't the final moment for us, I still had things to show him, it was not revenge, it was a lesson which will help us in future. I had thought about possibility after possibility, two century had not been enough to make me fully prepare for this but there was no going back, Edward and I had to face each other.

"Why are you following me?" I asked as I stepped out in the parking lot. My breath fogged a little and I looked at the dust motes mixed in the fog, the shape they made while swirling fascinating me.

"I wanted to talk." He said.

"And it couldn't wait till I was back home?" I asked.

"It was important." He said, stepping off the shadows.

I looked at him, he looked as like always. Not the Edward that had been present in my memories of two centuries ago but of the Edward who was agonized most of the time, who looked pained and who looked at me with longing. His expression twisted into an almost permanent frown and his eyes staring at me like I was the only one in the world, I had missed that look.

I gestured for him to go on.

"I don't know how to say this." He said, sighing frustrated.

"You should have practiced it infront of the mirror." I drawled out.

I was surprised to see annoyance on his face.

"Bella, look I am struggling, I thought….. I thought; no forget that, I think you're just risking your life with that werewolf." He eventually said after many pauses.

I narrowed my eyes, freezing my expression.

"It will be better for you if you don't say anything untoward about my mate." I threatened him.

"I am going to say this because I can't see you get hurt. That werewolf is only going to hurt you in the end. His presence in your life is a source of danger for you, every single time you meet another vampire, you are fighting for life, this should not be your life, you should have a happy life, you deserve a happy life."

His breathing was ragged in the end, the fog puffing out around him; he shook with barely contained frustration.

"I don't know what kind of love you have experienced or not but you don't leave someone you love just because they are a danger for you, you stand by them, you face every problem together because there is no other choice. There is no existence above and beyond that person, to leave is to die, and to leave is the death of the person you love. And if you can leave someone just thinking that the other person would just live their life normally, then you did not love them properly, or you underestimated there love. I know that I can't live without Silas and I can say the same thing about him. We would rather face danger then stay away from each other, I love him and he loves me and there is nothing else for it even if we have to fight for every second we are with each other."

I was growling near the end, so many emotions, so many thing I wanted to say to him for so many years and now here I could, I could tell him how I would have lived with him every second with a fight for life, I could maybe show him that love is not leaving, love is standing by and protecting because when there is no one to protect, the result ends only in disaster.

He stared at me, wide-eyed, hopefully thinking about what he had done in the past.

"You don't understand, to love is to protect and sometimes to protect it is better to leave." He murmured silently.

"Considering you look like that, I'm gonna assume that you have done something like that. Can I ask how that ended?" I asked.

He remained silent, staring at the ground. I could hear him growl, the sound ripping from him suddenly.

"Yeah, I didn't think so." I said, taking his silence for yes that I knew it was.

"Bella, you have to understand, he does not love you." He said.

"Edward, I think I can decide for myself if he loves me or not." I replied.

"You don't understand, I saw him…" He trailed off, growling angrily again.

"What?" I asked.

"I saw him with Leah; they were with each other physically. He is not faithful to you, he does not love you." He said in a rush.

I stared at him for a long moment, trying to decide how to react.

"You want me to believe that?" I asked.

"It's the truth, I saw them, I heard there thought, they are having their moments behind your back." He said.

"Edward, I knew that you were interested but I didn't know that you would lower yourself so much." I said scoffing a ridiculous laugh.

"I am not lying, you can go back and look at it yourself, you can smell it, use every sense of yours to validate what I have just said."

"Edward, you have just a minute to get out of my sight. You think I would listen to you, that I would doubt Silas, the person I have been with such a long time just because, you, who I have known for just a few days, have said so? I'm sure with all your theories of being away from someone you love just to protect them; there is some theory about doubting the person every single time someone raises a flag." I said.

"Bella, I am not lying –"He started.

I was on him in less than a second, pushing him on his knees with my knee on the back of his neck and holding both his wrist in my hands behind his back. His breath came ragged while I growled threateningly.

"Your minute is up. Your leader wants to have a truce so I advise you to get away from me, and never open your mouth in my presence ever again. I have years of killing vampire and I would not hesitate before killing you, remember that." I said and pushed him on the ground.

I knew that if he wanted, he would have broken free from me but he was adamant on not hurting me and that was enough for the threat that I wanted to issue. Without looking back on his position on the floor, I spun and made my way to my room. The confrontation had not gone as planned but still it was good. When we will meet the Cullen family on Monday, I would be ready to slide away the curtain from our entire secret after just one more act. I knew that I had given Edward many things to think about and I know that he would not come after me now; he would think and think and just think until he comes to a conclusion. I didn't know what that would be but his decision could ruin my plan or make it more solid. I just have to watch how it goes.

I knew Sara was awake before I even entered the room. The breathing on the other side wasn't the deep ones that are associated with sleep. I breathed deeply; sharing living space with humans was always a nuisance.

"Where were you?" She asked as soon as I entered the room.

I showed my mobile to her.

"Silas called to ask how it was going. I didn't want to disturb you." I told her.

She was already nodding sleepily, probably waking up just because I was not in the room. I smiled at her and whispered a Good night even when I knew she wouldn't be hearing it considering she looked she was already in dream world.

I lay on my own bed thinking of what I was going to do now. The confrontation with Edward had certainly done something but what and how it would affect my decision, I did not know. I just reminded myself that whatever was going to happen, it would end on Monday. There would be no more waiting, no heavy silence and longing in nights. It would be us and Cullens and all our secrets laid bare.

This Monday.

Sunday was like the day before. We roamed the aisles of library for three hours before deciding that the city needed some attention too. It was refreshing after living in small city too long.

City life and fast moving pace sometimes made me remember Phoenix, I had loved that city at one point and sometimes when I needed comfort, I would go there, hiding in my rooms by day and roaming the city in night. In the time that we had been together, there had been times when I would stray away from them, there were dark periods but sometimes it felt good to be alone.

Sunday mostly passed in a blur and when evening came I was relieved, I wanted to go back home and discuss things with Silas and Leah. I wanted to move about in the night without worrying about Sara finding something about me. Mainly I just wanted to see how they were doing. Homesickness was something I knew about but going somewhere without any aforementioned plan to leave made me a lot more homesick. It was difficult for vampires to change.

It was a slow drive back to the town, Sara lounging in the passenger seat, going through a book that she had bought from a bookstore. I was happy that those still existed. With the way Tablets were used these days, the use of books had gone lower yet the hidden gems were still in cities and I was very relieved to find that. Sara reminded me of myself sometimes with the way she lived like a girl of past and not caring about it either.

They were still awake but considering the time, I was not surprised. The moment I got back in my house, I shielded it. I knew that Edward would try to spy on me, but I was not going to let him do that. HE would have to wait for Monday before he gets a glimpse in anyone's mind.

They were in the kitchen; I smelled spices in the air and knew they would be eating right now. I had no idea how they got along without me because Leah's coking tended to be on stomach ache side. But as I got inside the kitchen I saw food containers and shook my head. Idiot the both of them. Such a long life they had lived with all the free time in the world and yet don't know anything about cooking. I was pretty sure they would die without me one day, supernatural or not.

Silas bear hugged me while Leah opted for continuing her meal.

"Welcome home" She said simply and the combination of that hug and those two words was enough to make me feel all fuzzy and warm.

I smiled at them.

After a shower and putting all the things back to their places, I got back in kitchen to the scene of them making out while sprawled on the kitchen counter.

I huffed at them.

"Honeymoon ended guys. The big bad vampire is back to ruin your romantic getaway. Back to business now." I said.

I had to watch them for another five minutes before they controlled themselves. It was a scene that I was now used to, unfortunately. The feeling of gagging on my own vomit was also familiar but I just rolled my eyes and settled myself on a chair.

"How was the weekend?" I asked them.

"Well…" Silas said, sharing conspiratorial glance.

"Before you start, nothing about sex between you two please or I would be forced to remember the time when Silas got very drunk and tried to go through Leah's wardrobe-" I said.

"I understand" Silas interrupted me.

"I'm glad" I said.

"Emmett visited to look at our motorcycles but other than that we did not have any interruptions from Cullens except for Edward but you already know about that. Other than that, we stayed in the house and lazed about." Leah said.

It looked like Cullens were keeping their distance for now.

"Alice and Jasper know about us." I said.

They looked shocked at that.

"When I was there the first night Jasper came and told me that he knew that I remember them. Alice saw us having the discussion in her vision. They are going to keep a distance from all this until Monday." I told them.

"So two Cullens are sorted out now, we still have five to go." Silas said.

"Stop making it look like I am ticking off a list." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Well, I think tomorrow's the day and we should get some sleep cause there would be just too much drama tomorrow to give me a headache." Leah said before we could start fighting again.

"In your own rooms." I reminded them.

Silas saluted with his middle finger.

I showed him the same without any fanfare.

Spending the time in school with the rest of the Cullens was difficult then I had thought. The glares that Edward sent our way whenever Silas touched me had the power to burn. Rosalie commented loudly on our behavior and when she was feeling gracious, she huffed them under her breath. The only one who was tolerable in all this mess was Emmett, who retained his good personality even under life threatening situation. It was a little weird seeing how Emmett and Silas got along well. Their obnoxious and perverted personality going along very well. I was afraid for my future with both of them in it.

"Why do you insist on blocking others thoughts from me?" Edward asked suddenly.

I turned toward Edward. I had been laughing at one of Silas joke while playfully waggling my eyebrows at Leah when I heard the question.

I furrowed my brows and glanced at Silas.

"It's just a habit. Defense mechanism for us. Any vampire can come at us any time if we are not alert and already protected." I said.

"We are not enemies." He said.

"Aren't you? We don't know you and it will be a long time before we can even be sure of your family." I said.

"Long time?" Emmett asked.

"Well, for vampires, years are nothing. So yeah, long time."

"Your group doesn't exactly consist of only vampires though." Edward pointed out, forcing a neutral look toward Silas.

"They are immortal as long as they want. So the time flow for them as it flows for us."

"Normally covens like yours don't last long. Considering you have two hot blooded creatures, who can quite easily get angered."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Normally you don't find a coven like us so I think I can assume more than you on that account."

Edward stayed silent on that topic but did manage a glare toward Silas as if my sentence reminded him of my closeness to Silas.

"Esme is eager to meet your group." Emmett said, breaking the tension.

"She sounds like a nice person, we are also eager to meet her." I said.

Silas snorted, looking at me in a 'Are you really making polite talks?' way.

I kicked him under the table hard and he hissed.

"Bitch" He said.

"Asshole" I replied.

"Nice love names you have for each other." Emmett said.

"Well you know if there is no spice in love without a little bite." I said, showing my teeth.

"You take your poisonous teeth away from me." Silas said.

I pinned his arm on the table and leaned toward him, breathing along his neck. I let my teeth graze his skin a little and whispered, "Or else?"

"Or else I have a really funny image of you, a bottle and rabbit. Want me take it out?" Silas asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

He didn't seem affected by my closeness cause it tended to happen whenever we tended to play rough.

"I never should have let you click a photo of me like that." I said, withdrawing from him.

I looked toward Edward and saw absolute loathing in his eyes. It was not me he was looking at, but Silas and Leah and he looked ready to murder both of them.

"I think it's time for us to leave for our classes." Leah announced suddenly.

I looked at my watch and was surprised to see the time. I let Leah maneuver me toward my class and did not look back even though I could feel Edward's glare on my back all the time.

It was a stupid thing to tell a vampire to not overthink. Vampires tended to think all the time. With all the gates in their mind, each containing a memory and the thought process that had went with it, vampires didn't even necessarily knew that they were thinking. Like a humming of refrigerator, you know it's working but you don't give it attention unless you are taking out something from it.

So when Silas told me to stop overthinking the plan, I kicked him. It had nothing to do with my nerves, he was just being annoying. It was easier to know what I was feeling when I was human. If I was nervous, I would start sweating. If I was scared, my heart would speed up. But I didn't knew what I was feeling right now, in this perfect vampire body. Was I nervous? Was I anticipating everything to turn out right? Maybe both.

As our car rolled in the Cullen driveway, I thought my heart gave a silent thump. It felt like I was back in my human days, back to glimpsing this house in the hope that I could feel his presence. The dreaded feeling of seeing it empty, without any life, without any melody playing on the piano, without Emmett's booming laugh, without Alice's chirping voice, without the part of the house that made it home. But now, everything was back. Everyone was back, it had taken them a long time, but they were back. But I was not the Bella that had come looking for her life, that Bella was left behind when I changed. Now I was just here to put a finish to a lesson that I had started a long ago.

I had two people walking beside me; I had experience of facing many dangers and overcoming them. I had the power to see it through without crumbling in a mess.

It was surreal walking the stairs and pushing the door inward. The house may have looked same from outside but much has changed inside. It was still open and light yet the furniture, the looks of everything was different. There was no piano and that felt like the biggest absence in that room.

I stopped in my tracks though when I saw something that I had forgotten about because of my muddy human memories.

"So, Bella why do you tolerate Edward?" The speakers boomed out as the projector played out a video on the screen.

I looked as a human image of myself looked at camera and blushed. She looked at the camera shyly, lifting her eyelashes a little while her head stayed down.

"It's because he knows how to make a bite pleasurable." Emmett's voice boomed from background and as I watched the blush spread through her whole face.

"Ignore him Bella, this is a family video, we are going to capture the confessions of the love birds. Now tell us." Alice voice echoed in the room.

"I love Edward…" My body froze, "because he makes me not believe in labels. 'Love' is a label and it seems so insignificant infront of what I feel for him. Our labels, our names does not matter when I am with him, we can be anybody, anything else, we can have different thousand identities, different labels yet when I see him looking at me, I know that every label that is me would be attracted to every label that is him. It's not past, present or future, it's not his eyes, skin or smile, it's not mine either. It's his soul that reflects and combines with mine. He makes me believe in things that would last even if immortal bodies get destroyed and that's why I 'tolerate' him."

I stayed still, every word spoken by me years before pounding at my heart. Unshed tears gathered in my eyes and I couldn't stop myself from staring at my projection. Had I felt like that, how long had it been that I had forgotten all of it. I couldn't remember the emotions that this part of mine had uttered. Had I loved like that, had I given myself to someone like that? Had I looked at someone like that at one time? Had the years let me forget what I had felt when I was actually in love with him.

As the lights came on I watched the Cullens coming out of their spots. Esme and Carlisle walked down from stairs while Emmett came out from kitchen. Edward though, was standing there beside the screen, watching me as I watched our past.

"I played this again and again in the years that we were separated. I believed in the beginning years that you would start feeling this for someone else that those words would belong to someone else, someone who would be more deserving, more human." He was coming toward me, steps slow but confident. "And when I learned of your death, I wished for those different million identities, those labels that were me that they get the soul that my heart craved at that moment. I thought how I, even knowing that you were the one I was trying to find, how could I let you go. I have not believed n souls but it felt like mine had left my body again to find yours. Bella, if you remember forgive me, and if you don't then give me a chance to make you remember."

I wondered how everything could be so stilled in the room. I could hear the rapid thump of Leah and Silas's heart and it pounded in my ear. I was not able to think anything. My plans, my years did not matter at that moment. Surprisingly it was not love that overwhelmed me. It was my own confusion. I had felt all this and Edward had felt it too but for me they were nothing but wisps. It had been a long time since I had harbored any love that was not platonic. I realized that I had forgotten that I can love someone like that too. But the thing that remained was, I could see the love but I could not feel it. I knew Edward was the one for me but it would take me a long time to start loving him again. Our wounds were still fresh; there was no salve of understanding yet.

I took a hesitant step toward him and that's when all hell broke loose.

Edward whipped his head toward Leah, tilted and concentrated. I realized a second too late that I had forgotten about my shield and in a moment Edward was on the floor, a careening wail coming out of his mouth as he clutched his head.

 **Review to tell me how much you hate me for getting late on update and review to tell me what you thought about this late chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

**So another chapter this week. I am on track again with this story. After this there will be another chapter and an epilogue. There is not much Edward and Bella moments in this but this had to be done before they could go back to being in each other's presence.**

 **Twilight still does not belong to me. Neither do Naruto and Sasuke together, so I guess no matter which story, my wishes never come true.**

 **Have fun reading this and give me your feedback.**

"NO" I yelled, snapping my shield back to its place. The damage unfortunately was already done. Edward lay on the floor, clutching his head while Cullens gathered around him.

I turned toward Leah, wanting to know what she had been thinking at that moment. She didn't look sorry at having leaked a memory and I wondered if it had been intentional.

"What were you thinking?" I asked her harshly.

"This video just reminded me what I was going through at that moment and I just connected it to how being left by a shapeshifter had treated you." Leah said without any inflection.

I growled at her. Living with hot headed creatures had made it inevitable for me to have fights with them. I had been angry at them many times but what I felt right now was white hot fury.

"You had no right to do that." I growled out.

"Didn't we? We have seen you going through a lot. We have seen you cry, we just wanted him to know what he had caused-"

"Stop" I whispered.

I looked around me, Silas and Leah stood infront of me, defense raised against the danger that I posed in my anger. Edward lay on the floor, silent but still in shock at whatever he had seen. The Cullens looked at him, worried for his sake.

How had it all turned out like that? I thought everything would go fine but this is what has happened. Was I so ignorant that I had not seen all this coming?

I was back to the time when I had turned. I had left so much grief behind me. My father, Jacob, my friend's, they had been saddened because of me. Edward was not wrong, I was a magnet for danger and I had attracted bad luck towards me and my friends and family.

Standing in the lighted hallway of Cullens, I knew that the things I had been running from had finally caught up to me. My human emotions were back, my guilt, my sadness and my love that was an image for me that I knew I had felt at one time but was now strange to me.

I looked around me and at last, I gave into my urges and ran. I had never acknowledged that I was running from something, I had hid behind my strong façade and had kept at bay all the things that would have made me feel what I had felt when I was a human. I had turned toward anger rather than sadness at that moment.

I had my backpack ready for emergencies, hidden in my cupboard. Leah and Silas knew better than to follow me so I had enough time to make my escape and cover my tracks. I knew I had to face everything one day but for now I needed to sort everything in my own head. Everything I had believed for so long had been a lie constructed in my own head. And even if it wasn't a lie, I had manipulated myself into thinking that I was what I had wanted while the old me had just lurked behind, wanting to be acknowledged. This thing would not be solved by the Bella who had governed my mind for years but that Bella who had actually felt the complication of love and had made the choices through it all.

I needed to get back to her, for now I had to get away from everything else and just let her in my mind, let her guide me.

I was at my door before I even knew it. I went inside and to my bag pack. I opened it and categorically checked everything. I had a stash of money, some clothes, toiletries and other things I would need through my travel. I didn't leave any note; they knew I would be back shortly. I took a glance at the house that we have lived in for a few years. I didn't feel any particular nostalgia for it but I knew I was leaving something behind and when I would come back, everything would change.

I shouldered my bag and ran out of the house toward the town's border. I had become good at covering my tracks and confusing our chasers. I circled around the town, avoiding Cullens place. I looped through many highways, going in tracks and backtracking after a few miles. Through all this I created a maze, with only one way being correct. It would take them at least weeks to find me, what I wanted at that moment.

I stopped running at the next town, it had taken me only an hour to get there. I checked my mobile, no calls yet. Silas and Leah were not worried for now, that was good enough. They would keep Cullens at bay for a little while until Edward decided that he didn't want to be patient anymore.

I scrolled through my contacts and found the name that I, on only rare occasions, called. I took deep breaths to calm myself and wait patiently for it to pick up.

"Hey bloodsucker" The voice said cheerily.

I rolled my eyes at that.

"Hey Scott" I said.

"Are you coming?" He asked.

"Yes, I am. But I am coming alone so don't be too excited."

"Why aren't my grandpa and grandma coming?" He whined on the other end.

"First, they hate you when you call them that and second, I have a little thinking to do and I wanted to come back home to do that." I said.

"Thinking and you? Sounds heavy stuff already. Come by as soon as you can. Even though we met you when we were toddler, we still want to hear all the stories again."

"I am not a nana that I have to tell you stories." I told him.

"But you tell them the best. Besides I want my kids to know the person who saved the members of our family twice." He entreated.

"Once, I don't count Leah in that." I said.

"Sure, sure." He replied.

"Okay, I am hanging up now. Don't tell Leah that I am coming there." I said.

He paused a moment but then made a humming noise.

"Okay" He said.

I cut off the call and stayed at the café that I had made my stopping point.

Home sounded like a good idea at that moment.

A few years back a vampire coven had come to the forks and had started hunting there. Fortunately, it was the same time I had been on one of my lonely journeys to Charlie's grave. The vampires had been there for a time so two of the teenagers had already phased. I hadn't known that at that moment. I usually took a day to sit by Charlie's grave and talk to him. Leah had told me to check up on her family too, she still cared for Seth's children and grandchildren. Since there were only two shape shifters, there rounds had not been good enough. When I had crossed the border to forks, I had known that Shape-shifters were there because of their smells. The first thing I had done was to check on Clearwaters, it was dark so going to the grave sounded an idiotic idea.

I had found a little girl in the clutches of a vampire, playing with her before making her meal. It had reminded me awfully of James and before I had even known it, I had been on that vampire, tearing him away from the little girl. I had told the girl to hide somewhere, it was better than her running away and getting in the way of any other vampire that would have been there.

The vampire, I had known from experience was younger than me. He had already looked like a cocky vampire so I let him think I was younger and reckless, using power more than brain. After I had let him take a few small chunks out of me and went on offence. That fight was finished even before I knew it.

By then his partner had come and one of the two shape shifters was already in a headlock with him. I had gone and teared his abdomen in half. As the wolf had started circling around me, the girl had come out of her hidden corner and had run toward me.

"Grandma Bella" She had said, running toward me.

I had been as confused as the wolf infront of me. I knew that for me to be a grandma was impossible. Besides the girl knowing my name was weird as it is.

It had turned out that the girl was a Clearwater and Seth, being the faithful brother he was, had told his family about Leah and me. And he had made his kid promise to pass down memories and photographs of us so if we were ever have to cross path with them, they would be able to know who we were.

That day, Natalie Clearwater, widower of Shane Clearwater had made it clear that I was always allowed on the Quileute property. She had also prepared a party to celebrate the fact that a lost family friend had come home. It had been all really a bit surreal for me but they had made me believe that I still had a home to return to. Ashlin had been the girl that I had saved, Scott; his brother had been taken by me. They had been inseparable from me when I had told them the Quileute legends on the day of the bonfire. I had no idea what had tied them to me but for a moment I had seen Seth in Ashlin and Quil in Scott. I had left them the next day, not wanting them to cry, I had left before they might had woken up. I had informed Leah of this progress and she had been frantic to get to La Push.

I had been in contact with them now and then. Talking on phone and exchanging e-mails but I didn't have any reason to go back to Charlie yet. Leah had been more active when it had come to the new shape shifters. Unfortunately there had been two more kids who had phased. Leah had taken it upon herself to ease their process. Three of them had already calmed themselves down and had phased out forever.

The welcome party was what I was expecting from start. Scott Clearwater met me at the border of La Push and drove me in his truck to his house. The once small kid of 6 was now a 30 year old with a child on its way.

"How is Grandma?" Scott asked.

"Why do you insist on calling all of us Grandpa and Grandma?" I asked.

"Well, because Grandma was my Great Grandpa's sister and Grandpa is her husband and you because, you are family and their age." He said, smiling at me.

I looked away, he actually reminded me of Quill, with all the emotions running through me, remembering him reminded me of the day I had changed. He had comforted me like a little brother. I realized I had missed my time here with all my shape shifter friends.

"How is Ashlin?" I asked.

"Ashlin is getting divorced sadly. Apparently the rush they had made in getting married had gone away with their passion." He said a sad frown on his face.

"I knew he was not going to be good for her. Ashlin was a free spirit while he was a bound office guy." I commented.

"Yeah, I told her that and got punched for the effort too. She punches like a shape shifter by the way. I am happy she is not here right now or she will probably turn by you being close."

"I hope nobody turns." I said.

"Well, we hope so too. It always depends on how long the vampire stays."

"Are you already trying to kick me out?" I asked, smirking.

"Never" He said and squeezed my hand.

His sincere dark gaze made me look away. Jacob had tended to look at me like that, like I could trust him. This gaze was not of loving partner but it still rattled me.

"So, what are you planning to entertain me?" I asked.

"You guess" He said and smiled blindingly.

"Bonfire" I sighed.

"Yup" He popped the P.

"Leah tells you the stories every time she visits." I said.

"It is different with the real nemesis around." He winked.

I rolled my eyes. Shape shifters, the irritating bunch, all of them.

His partner, Esmeralda Jenkins, was dark skinned beauty with a sharp mind. She had retained her last name after the marriage and Scott had no problem with that. Esmeralda liked to talk to me, more than Scott, mostly because she was a searcher of knowledge and wanted to know from me what I had learned in my two centuries of life. Them knowing about supernatural beings was natural as Ashlin had seen me and a shape shifter already in action and also because Esmeralda, herself had been an assistant to a man who liked to call himself vampire hunter. Although he searched for vampires in wrong places yet his research had caught Esmeralda's attention and she had started investigation of her own. She had been able to find about vampires and had come searching for them here, a town with clouds and rumors of vampires visiting it. She had met Scott while looking for legends about them. Although Scott had sidetracked her by telling ridiculous stories that campers made up yet she had eavesdropped on a conversation that Ashlin and Scott had about the incident all those years ago.

"Bella" She said cheerfully.

"Ah, my partner in crime, bored yet of our figurative blond." I said, winking.

"Nah, he is still good to look at." She said, appraising Scott's body.

"Really? Seems like a mountain troll to me."

"He has his good things, even if he is sometimes really dumb." She said, smirking at me.

"Uh, I am standing right here." He said sullenly.

"Why are you still standing here? You still have to weed out wild grass from the back garden."

"I am gonna leave you and Bella here until you come out of whatever dominatrix personality you are in." He said and marched off back to his truck.

"Didn't want to know about your bedroom life, dude." I shouted toward him.

He flipped his middle finger toward me.

Me and Esmeralda looked at each other and laughed out loud.

"That was fun." I said.

"I always wanted to meet you in person. I thought I would never get the chance." She said.

"Well here I am, you can ravish me as much as you can while your husband is out." I said slyly.

"I am not going to cheat while having a baby but yeah after that we can make an appointment." She said, a teasing glint coming into her eyes.

"We are so going to drive Scott out of his mind."

"I look forward to it."

After that I turned our talk to her baby. They did not know the sex yet, it had only been 3 months but they were hoping for a little girl. I could hear a faint beat inside with her own and it made me smile genuinely. The notion of giving birth to a child was still not tempting to me but seeing a life inside another was a fascinating thing.

I looked forward to a few days of this. I had forgotten how much I had loved the young crowd of La Push, thankfully that had not changed. I still had to meet more people today but I felt confident about my reception.

It was after a week of meeting people, of stories told and companionship found that I found the time to be alone. I would not call it stressful week, simply because it was not. I enjoyed every second of it. It made my strings more strong toward my human self, feeling all the love and care of the people around me. I had not known them before but the roots remained mostly same. They had grown out of the prejudice and accepted people who were different. There was a little circle of people who had known about my secret. The bonfire had consisted of many people but for most of them it was just another night of storytelling. I had let myself drown in the stories, remembering the third wife and chieftains, mixing a touch of nostalgia and emotions to impress the audience. Story telling was about half the words and half about how you tell them. The day had ended on a very happy note.

My sleepless night went with the remaining shape shifter, watching over the little town that we belonged to. I learned that Alan, the remaining shape shifter had actually chosen this lifestyle. It was not in a greedy manner, he was still child in a grown up body. In a few years he would probably realize that stopping and living a life with death in it was a better option than immortality. I did not think of my existence with depression but I knew that a normal life was still better.

I had already visited Charlie's grave, it looked so old now. Even the weathered stones told me how much time have passed. The letters were faint and the grave was littered with leaves and fallen flowers. When the people he had known were still alive, they still left him flowers and cleaned his grave now and then.

Instead, I chose the grave that I had avoided, yet the one that I had wanted to visit for a long time. It was a rustic brown grave stone, a weird choice for an outsider but one that I understood clearly. I smiled, feeling I was in the presence of that person. He had been my sun for so long, that I already felt warmth being near him.

"Jacob" I murmured.

A light breeze picked up, not surprising as it was a windy day.

"It has been years." I said and stopped, not knowing what else to say.

A squirrel scurried out of her hole, two miles away, her feet scraping against rough wooden branch.

"I don't know if I have any right to say this to you or not but" I took a deep breath, "I forgive you."

The cemetery stayed silent, though the wind still flowed around me.

"Goodbye, Jacob Black."

I turned and walked away, leaving the echo of my faint steps on the ground.

I smiled as I saw the familiar cliff and the rolling waves around it. Time has changed, people have changed but nature was still the same. The cliffs were still so same that it felt like I was again that Bella, driving to there to cheat and to ease the pain in my chest. I think it was what I wanted, to feel like that person again.

I did not have my truck with me but my feet were faster either way. I moved through the surrounding forest easily, stepping on tree branches without making any rustle. I lingered my hands on branches and leaves, reminding myself where I was. Home.

It felt exhilarating, to remember how I had moved through these type of forest on Edward's back. The memories reminded me of the hole that I had thought was there. I knew now that there was no hole, just an empty feeling. He and I had lost ourselves in each other. When he had left he hadn't only taken me but also that part that was his and had resided in me. It had taken me centuries to fill that empty place with other important things, but I was there now and I felt happy about it. Now I just had to make a room for Edward.

I broke through the forest and felt the rocky floor under my bare foot. Wind tossed my hair around me; it was another storm, just like that day. I felt about how it had come full circle for me. I was again here, trying to calm the storms that had been building in me for all the years and wishing Edward to be here.

I took a step toward the edge, looking down at the waves crashing against the rocky outcrop. Even though I was a vampire, yet I felt the same thrill in me. I knew that I would end up jumping from here again; it was too great a feeling for me to not respond to. Besides I had not went for an adventure for some time now. It was not an adventure, just an activity but it was still thrilling.

I felt the presence around my shield at that moment; someone was trying to get past my shield. I smiled as I realized that our confrontation was near. I did not know the words that I would have to say, nor the feeling that I should feel but I still felt the calm that came knowing that after this moment, something right was going to happen. Everything wouldn't probably be aligned and perfect but something would start to make sense.

I had already told the Quileute people to expect him. I had given them the description so that none other than Edward would pass. Caution was still very important for the people that lived here.

I stayed there, on the edge of the cliff, feeling all the emotions building in my heart. I heard as his feet hit the ground in the forest, he was so close right now.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt like his footsteps were the heart beats that I was missing. I counted the, every counting making him come closer. When at last he was at the tree from which I had hopped from a few minutes ago.

I lost the count at last.

"What are you doing?" His voice echoed around us.

The sound of waves crashing against the rocks was loud and it rang in my ears, deafening everything else.

"Cliff-diving" I grunted out.

"It's dangerous, you shouldn't do that." He said calmly.

I laughed out loud, the sound hollow, even to my ears. After so many years, I was here again; thinking of jumping but this time Edward was actually here, trying to stop me. Not like that image that my mind has sketched up for me.

This place where I had jumped in the deep abyss, emerging only with Jacob's help. Jacob, who had been my sunshine for a long time. Jacob, who had given me reason to live again and wrenched it away, just another person who was another step to my descent in loneliness. How had I not known that when you jump in abyss, you never come out? Jacob was just another person who left me there, in the dark.

"If only you were here two centuries ago." I muttered.

Edward's face showed the confusion that he must have felt in his mind.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

I shook my head. He didn't know what I was talking about because he wasn't there. While he was struggling against running toward me, I was here waiting and wishing and struggling to live another day with hope. He and I both have suffered but who has suffered more? Maybe I was wrong to compare our sufferings but all these years I have struggled to not feel pity for myself. My struggle had fled away when I had entered Cullen's household. I didn't know why that video had been so overwhelming for me but it had been and all the human emotions that I had forgotten through years had come rushing back to me. One of those was the feeling of all the things that had been done to me that was wrong. It was not necessarily done to me with ill meaning but the choices made by people had led to it. My choices and others, it all had come to this.

The questions ran around me, was his suffering bigger as he could feel everything again and again because of his vampire abilities. Or was it my pain because of being left not one but twice by the people who have promised me their love. Those years filled with pain, I was alone through my transformation, only a bunch of shifters for whom I was just a responsibility. Those days when Leah and I were not friends, just two people who were each other's excuse for running away from past. My choice had cleared a path for me to follow the love I felt for a person but Edward made the choices for both of us. He decided he wanted 'the chips to fall as they may' and he decided that he had put my life in enough danger. Jacob decided he would go against imprinting then he was sorry that his natural instinct had won over.

If Edward had lived without me then I have lived liked that too. I had killed and maimed many for my survival. I did not regret my time with Silas and Leah because that was my choice; I had decided to stay with them, knowing that I was putting my life in danger. On many occasions I had been a monster, a real monster, ripping into necks and tearing every limb without any mercy. I have lived and changed; I had come from a soft girl and had become a person who was entitled to be called a monster.

Yes, I did think my pain was bigger.

What he had seen in Leah's brain was nothing infront of what he and I both have suffered. For years now, I have believed that love was not everything, concentrating on being with my coven, caring for them. But it still had turned out to be a big part of our life. For better or worse it was a part that had started defining us. It had changed everything; our existence did not revolve around each other but around our love. Unfortunately our love had not brought us the warmth that we were expecting, but the apocalypse that everyone feared.

I could imagine what he had gone through. I was not delusional enough to say that I knew what exactly he had to go through, I knew that even I would not be able to understand his pain but for a moment I thought about sharing what I had been through. It sounded petty to my own ears but I wanted him to understand, just a little part of something that belonged to me. To what extent I had gone, just to feel him. Looking around me, at the cliff, the forest behind me and the water infront of us, I decided that maybe showing him how his departure had affected me could make us a partner in the pain that we had felt. We could share and put salve on each other's wound. Maybe it would help us in understanding and bettering our battered souls.

"I want to show you something." I said without looking at him.

I could hear his footstep when he moved toward me.

"I wanted you with me on many occasions of my life. When Silas and Leah had married, it had made me remember you the most. Marriage do that to a person I guess. But I was here once, I was cheating you see, at least that's what I called it when I wanted to hear you." I took a deep breath and stepped toward him.

"I don't understand." He said, staring in my eyes.

"Neither do I." I said and put my hands on his forehead.

I had practiced this trick a lot. I had once wandered off to rain forest, Leah and Silas had been on their honeymoon. It was a bit lonely at that time, although a great place for hunting yet traveling alone after having a coven felt depressing. I had met an Amazon there. Her name was Zrina and she had been my host there. She had known the Cullens apparently and had recommended me to go to them when she had found out about my way of feeding. I had told her that I was a nomad and had made her promise that she wouldn't tell anyone about me. She had seemed suspicious about it but had promised the same. I had lived with her for half a decade and had learned to put away my shield. She had been fascinated by my talent and wanted to see if I could separate my shield from me. It had become easier for me to dos o after many sessions. Although I was out of practice now but I knew I could still do it.

I concentrated on my shield, instead of stretching it; I pushed it outside my mind and let Edward's presence inside me. I looked at the thousand doors infront of me, searching for the one that I wanted to show him. This was a trick that I had learned after years of practicing my trance. The space in mind had been divided and organized. In many years I had learned to push open doors and relive moments as if I was in them again. I would taste every flavor, smell every scent and hear every cry. This was something that I had done to revisit the memories in my time of anguish.

Edward gasped but I didn't look at him. I found the door, a black paneled one with a single image of a small flame flying out of it.

I didn't just remember it, I opened the door, staring into the blackness of it all and plunged in it, taking Edward's consciousness with me.

 **Reviews are appreciated. I hope you liked this chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I have resurfaced my readers! Those pointing all the lethal stuff at me, please refrain. My siblings had told me how much of a lazy ass I was to neglect my writing so much. And my siblings don't use comforting words, just so you know. But here I am, I have decided to end this thing. My fic, that I had planned to be 6 chapters long, had already survived for longer. But no delay now, only the epilogue to look forward to.**

 **Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me; neither does Naruto or else Itachi would be mine but, oh well.**

 **Enjoy yourself and don't forget to review. Those things keep me motivated.**

I looked out my window and sighed at the trees all around me. I had no idea that finding a trail to the top of the cliff would be that difficult. But I wanted to find it nonetheless, I wanted freedom from my thoughts and I wanted to hear his voice again, it had been too long.

When I had seen the waves crashing against the rocks, I knew then what I wanted to do. It would have been better if Jacob were with me but every cell in my body revolted against waiting. Patience was a virtue that I did not want to think about right now. The only thing in my mind were the echoes of his voice that I had heard in the mid of dangers. Sometimes I contemplated whether it was because whenever I had been in trouble, he was always there for me. My subconscious has just been acting up, filling the empty space with a voice. Why was it that it didn't feel like that? The voice felt real, not only vibrating in my inside but as if it was in my surroundings. Maybe I would not be able to solve this puzzle ever, I did not think of it as a loss, hearing his voice even when I am old and fragile sounded like heaven. I imagined his face as I looked at the assembled trees; this was a bit more difficult than I had thought.

I sighed as I tried to look for a trail or something, anything would do right now but I couldn't see anything. Figures that my luck would have deserted me right now. Not that I was very lucky from the beginning. Jacob would have known where to go and what road to take but somehow I found his absence comforting. I didn't know how I would behave while hearing that voice, maybe having Jacob with me would have helped but I did not want him to see me broken on the edge of a cliff either.

I gave shout of joy as I finally found the trail that I had been looking for. I turned my car and drove with as much speed as I could. I couldn't contain the grin that took over my features, the time was now and my wait was over. Now I can finally hear his voice.

I parked my car as I got to where the trees ended and rocky cliff began. It seemed I had come to the top most part of it. Jacob had wanted to take me somewhere lower but this seemed like a better challenge to me. The sky stretched in front of me, like a dark blanket. Weather was not clear as was the norm here but I wasn't afraid. This was my chance.

I got out of my car, stepping on the rocks. A light mist started falling as I looked above at the heavens; it coated my face and gave me a fresh feeling. It felt like an invitation to me. It would not take time for the rain to get heavy; for once I did not mind that fact. I just got near the edge and peered at the sea below me. The rocky outcrop looked a bit scary but I knew that I would fall away from that either way.

Even though I knew that ocean was just there, the sound of it felt like it was coming from somewhere far away echoing around me. The wind had started getting stronger too, making the rain beat hard on me.

I kept my gaze ahead of me, feeling the edge through my toes. It spread before me, it should have been terrifying but I could only marvel at the beauty of it. This felt like living. I held my breath, waiting for him.

"Bella" I heard the honey smooth voice. I released my breath, it felt my whole body relax, this was what I had been waiting for.

I felt another sensation in my mind. A confusion but not mine, which was disconcerting to me. It felt like the confusion was in my head but it was someone else's. I had no idea what was that feeling but I ignored it for this moment.

 _Yes,_ I answered him in my head, not wanting to spoil the dream like quality of this moment. I wondered how I only heard his voice when I did something that he disapproved. I could live my life like that, if that was what it took for me to hear him.

"Don't do this," He pleaded. His musical voice tugged at my heart in a pleasant way.

 _You wanted me to be human,_ I reminded him _. Well, watch me._

 _ **What's happening?**_ I thought I heard. I frowned but shook my head again. There was just one voice I wanted to here, real and not in my head.

"Please. For me." He said.

 _But you won't stay with me any other way._

"Please" It just felt like a whisper this time, blowing away with the wind that was clashing against me with the rain.

The feeling of foreign thought in my mind was still feeling confused. I had no idea what it was, why I was feeling it but I ignored it. Right now, the jump was all that mattered.

I rolled up onto the balls of my feet.

"No, Bella!" His voice sounded angry and yet still so sweet.

I remembered my swimming lessons from before and leaned forward. I crouched to get more spring for my jump and after getting my breath in control, flung myself off the cliff.

I screamed as I dropped. I heard someone shout 'No' in my head but I focused on the feeling that I was experiencing. I was like a meteor and I screamed, feeling exhilaration and not fear. The wind was blowing against me, trying to push me but I just spiraled down, feeling the wind around me. I remembered how Edward used to take me around in the forest and it was nothing infront of this. I felt like I was flying.

And then it ended, I sliced the surface of the water. It was icy, colder than I had feared but I was high on this adventure.

I prided myself on the jump, on the lack of danger in this thing. I thought it'll be more terrifying but what was so dangerous about it. I felt like someone sighed in relief but before I could think about that, the current caught me.

I realized my mistake after I was in the water. I had been so afraid of the cliff that I didn't see the real danger. The water churning ahead of the cliff, I forgot to take into account the problem that it could create. The heaving surf made me scared.

The waves were fighting over me, dragging me from here to there. It felt like they were pulling me apart. I remembered my lessons, if there was a riptide, swim parallel to the beach instead of trying to reach the shore. But it was useless because I had no idea where the shore was. More importantly I had no idea where the surface was.

There was no brightness outside to show me direction. Even gravity was of no use as waves used me as a rag doll and tossed me around between each other. A voice roared somewhere but I could not pay attention to it.

I reserved my oxygen as much as I could, lips locked against the pressure around me.

I was sure that I was going to drown; I was going to die today. In this moment of surety, I could still feel Edward there, his voice strong.

"Keep swimming!" Edward begged urgently in my head.

At last I shut my mind toward the feeling behind my head and focused solely on Edward's beautiful voice.

 _Where?_ There was nothing but the darkness. I could find no place to swim to.

"Stop that!" He ordered. "Don't you dare give up!"

The numbness started in my legs, the cold seeping under my skin, making my muscle stiffen. My arms slowly numbed too. The waves were still tossing me but I didn't feel it so much now. I was dizzy and I knew I couldn't do anything now.

But I listened to his voice; I forced my body to continue for my search of surface. The dark water was swallowing me but I made my hands move, fighting to get somewhere. I kicked my legs, I knew it was doing me no good but I tried to do something. I felt like asking what the point was now.

"Fight!" He yelled at me. "Damn it, Bella, keep fighting."

 _Why?_

A sudden peace descended on me. I didn't want to fight against the current anymore. It was not because I was light headed or because I was beyond cold. It was also not because of the exhaustion that had seeped in my being. I was content stay here because all the horrible deaths I could and had gone through, this was the easiest and I just wanted to lie here, until my last breath passed from my body.

I didn't see flashbacks of my life as I drowned and I counted myself lucky for that. Who wanted to revisit all those things again?

Suddenly he was there, my subconscious that had done a good thing of keeping his voice alive till now, showed me his beautiful face as I died. I could see his shining, brilliant topaz eyes, His hair floating in the water as if he was really here. His lips curled in angry line and his nose flared with anger, the shade of his icy sculpted skin, He was so beautiful even in his anger, the face was enough to make me smile in my death, it was like the best goodbye present.

"No! Bella, No"

It was a wonder how his voice was so clear in my ears when they were full of sea water- I ignored his words, they were not useful to me right now- instead I concentrated on his voice. I was so happy right now, even when my breath was labored, I could feel a pressure in my limbs and I could feel my life flowing out of me, I was content. I had forgotten what real happiness had been like.

Abruptly the current did its work and I was shoved against something solid, perhaps a rock underwater and felt my breath whoosh out of my mouth in silver bubbles. It hit me solidly in my chest like an iron bar. Water flooded down my mouth and throat, chocking and burning as it went. It was pulling me away from Edward, taking me somewhere unknown, somewhere deep and dark.

 _Goodbye, I love you,_ was my last thought.

And as if in reply, I heard a loud 'No' yelled in the back of my mind.

* * *

"Why did you do it?!" Someone was yelling in my ear.

I cleared out the haze that had settled over me. It was a bit difficult coming back to present after visiting that memory, it was embarrassing how long I took to gather myself. Edward looked like he had already transitioned into his angry self. He was shaking my shoulder; as if that would make me blurt out my answer faster.

I caught both of his wrists in an iron lock and forced them away from my body. Just because I had shown him a vulnerable moment, didn't mean he get to yell and shake me around like he did as human.

"Stop treating me like a vulnerable human. I had faced situation without you for 235 years and I could do it again. I have survived, so do not treat me like you did me in the past." I said in a hard voice.

He looked at me in shock, his obsidian eyes black, a crazed look in them. But he took a step back from me.

I stepped away from him and sat at a rock that looked smooth enough to sit on. Small pebbles crunched under my steps, probably turning into dust at the touch. I stared toward the horizon, deep in thinking.

Edward sat beside me but at a distance. I knew he was waiting for my explanation and for a moment, I let him.

"I was sure I would die here, even my subconscious agreed apparently, as it showed me your face at the last moments." I glanced at the sea, as if looking for that image. It was a blurred thing for me, hazy from seeing it through human eyes.

"When you left, I was as good as dead for months. My parents probably thought of me as a living dead body. I did not move, did not eat, and did not do anything other than breath. I wonder what you thought when you left, that I would recover instantly, that I did not love you enough to not feel your separation. I wondered in my years of being vampire, how selfish you were, how arrogant, that you thought that yours was the only love that was true." I scoffed as I said it.

I tilted my head to watch the play of emotions on Edward's face. There was only sadness and anguish.

"I wanted you to be happy and not in danger because of me." He said.

I nodded my head thoughtfully. I stayed silent, listening to the waves under me, they sounded so loud to my ears that it felt like they were just beside me, lapping around me.

"Once I went to a movie with a friend, I can't remember her name, but we did. It was when we were getting back that I saw a group outside a building. They looked dangerous and reminded me of the time when those guys had tried to do not so honorable things with me. At the moment, I remembered you, when I was trying to forget you. I was approaching them when I first heard it, your voice. I don't have to explain to you how it sounded, since you've already heard it. I had no idea what it was. The only explanation that I could come up with was that since you always saved me from danger, my subconscious saved me from danger by reminding me of you, how you sounded when you were concerned for me. What did you think I did after that revelation?" I asked him

"You jumped." He stated.

I laughed without any humor in it.

"No, but I took interest in dangerous sports. I became friends with Jacob I decided that I wanted to ride motorcycles. He was the one who healed me. But in the end he was not someone I loved, I was mainly using him o get to danger, so I could hear you. You must have thought that I would fall in love with someone else again easily, didn't you?" I asked Edward.

His lips were a thin line as he looked at me. I looked at the darkening sky, thunder was rolling in the cloud, it looked like a storm.

"I thought it would be easy for you to fall out of love that you held for me."

"Arrogant." I said. "Charlie wanted me to do so; he could see moment of happiness in my life when I was around Jacob. I was sure he knew that I was not wholly happy but I think he was hopeful. And behind his back, I visited danger with Jacob every day and reminded myself of your existence. It was all good until Laurent and Victoria decided to show up."

Even though the waves and thunder was making a lot of noise yet still I heard a growl from Edward's direction but did not look at him.

"Jacob's pack had started turning into shape shifters by then. They were hunting for Laurent and Victoria and when they found that she was after me, they decided it was safe for me to stay at their land as much as I could. It was one of the mornings when they were on patrol and I wanted to experience danger that I came here to jump. It was cliff diving, Jacob had promised me a day before that he would take me but sudden appearance of Victoria threw our plans out. So I jumped alone." I paused, remembering all the sensations again.

The wind was whipping my hair around me now; Edward's hair and cloth were now in similar disarray.

"Jacob saved me. He got me back to his house and heir I found out that Charlie's friend had died of heart attack. All I could think at that moment was if, I too had died, what would have happened to Charlie? For his sake, I decided to live again, to give Jacob a chance. For a time it was okay enough, i could survive. I loved Jacob, in a way, but not from my whole heart. I still loved you."

I heard him take a deep breath; this was the first time I had said that, I realized.

"Then everything went wrong as much as it could in a single day. Being the danger magnet, I attracted every tragedy in my life that day. Jacob got imprinted and Victoria found me. I got turned into a vampire and ordered to leave the place that was my home."

I stopped, remembering Charlie in that clearing. He was so strong for that meeting, yet so weak. He was a broken man that has seen his daughter turn into another being infront of her. He had to do funeral rites when his daughter was still alive in a way. I felt a deep ache in my heart; Charlie would always have a place in my heart.

"So Edward, at what point did you think, you leaving me was a good idea?" I asked.

"Bella, you have to know, I truly thought you were better off without me." He said, his voice pleading.

"Better off" I rolled these words around my tongue. "Better off" I scoffed, I started laughing, a laugh so cruel, so hysterical, it was scary even to me.

"Which part of me do you think is better off? The part that stopped living after you were gone? The part that invited danger at every point just so she can see you? Or the part that is now in literal sense a monster worth of horror stories. A monster that has killed others without regret, that has grown so cold hearted that she does not even care that she is hurting you right now, without any care in the world! Is that me better off! Am i?!" I yelled at him.

I remembered that girl, sweet, innocent and so weak. I could not think without contempt of that part of me. I could not care for the pure heart that person had, all I could remember is the weakness she held.

"I don't care! I don't care if you are monster, I don't care if you've killed people. I know what I did ruined everything for us, your life, my life, our families life. I wish I could see at that time how strong your love for me at that time was! I wish I could see that you felt for me what I felt for you, maybe stronger. I wish I had not been so arrogant in my love but I can't take it back. If I could have one wish, I would wish to correct that mistake but I can't. The only thing that I can do is love you, make sure you're happy now. I love you Bella, that innocent girl and that vicious monster that you are!" Edward looked so furious yet so distraught. Suddenly I could see Charlie instead of him. Broken and blaming himself for everything that had happened.

I breathed deeply and peace settled on me.

"I do not regret past, I've lived a good life till now and I plan to live a better one in future. Everything is not so bad." I said.

I stood smoothly despite the stormy wind. I walked toward Edward where he stood, taut as an arrow. He had paced during saying that entire thing but now he just looked at sea furiously.

His fists were at his side, clenched tight in anger and anguish. I took his left fist in my hand, his head whipped toward me but I concentrated on his hand. I caressed my hands on his fist, making it open slightly. I opened one finger at a time, ignoring Edward's gaze at me.

"Silas and Leah are my family." I said as I continued tracing my fingers along his hand. "I have a good life going. They make me happy. I am happy."

I spoke with confidence and looked in Edward's eyes.

"I showed you this part of my life because I wanted to show you, show you that leaving me behind did not made things right. Silas is a werewolf; he pretended to be my boyfriend because I wanted to show you that when people love, they just need to be together, to get across every obstacle. Silas is like my brother, we are family, yet living with him is a constant danger for me, as it is for him when I come in contact with vampires. But we know how to solve the problems because we are together. They give me hope, while when I was alone, in the sea, fighting current, I had no love for life, no hope for it. I want you to know that thinking that going separate ways is good is absurd."

"Bella" He whispered.

We stayed there, for how long, I had no idea, but it felt like peace at last. I felt like this was the end, I had traveled long, and now I was here, looking in Edward's eyes. The rain started in between our staring, our wind swept clothes started getting wet, yet we stayed standing.

"I don't think I can stay away from you even if you went separate ways yourself." Edward whispered.

His words were clear to me even through the entire storm.

"Do you love me?" I asked.

"You know I do." He replied.

"I do not." I said, I saw the sorrow in his eyes at that. "I know we belong together, I love you maybe but it's been years and Edward, it's been twisted into a monster that is cruel. It does not forgive or forget; it does not take peace and stay at war all the time. My love is selfish now and you do not deserve it.

"You, on the other hand, love a person who is innocent, love with her heart and had not seen darkness in this world. I am not that, I am cruel; I am killer and a monster. You may say you love me despite that, but you need to firsts see me like that. I don't want promises now so that I would see disgust later in your eyes. We both need to learn to love again, each other. We both are new persons; we can't live in past always."

"Bella, I have done things in the past without thinking, or maybe through thinking too much about it. I have always thought I knew the best, I have lived through the past centuries knowing that it was not so. My decision's consequences were not my own only. I want to believe that I love you, but I understand what you wanted to explain, I want to take account of your thinking too and I am going to hope that as you think we belong together, we may actually belong with each other in future. I loved your past self, and I am going to look at the new you every day and I have no doubt that I am going to fall in love all the more." He flipped our hands so that now he was the one holding my hand.

His right hand caressed my cheek, brushing aside a lock of my hair and cupped my face. I placed my hand on his and shook my head.

"There is one more thing I wanted to do with you." I said, with a smile on my face.

"What would that be?" His smile was faint but his eyes glittered a little.

"Fall" I said and stepped near the edge.

Edward tilted his head and considered my face, his own face thoughtful. I don't know what he saw but he nodded and as we looked at each other, we fell.

 **Review please!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay guys, this is the official end of this little story. I may think of a sequel but chances are slim because I don't have much time in my hand for planning it. If I made it, it would be a confrontation against Volturi and that would require too much planning. If it happens, it happens and if it doesn't…. well, fingers crossed.**

 **As I said, this is the end, I've tried tying all the loose ends. If you like it, please review. Reviews give me a bit of happiness. Constructive criticism is very much appreciated.**

 **Disclaimer: Twilight doesn't belong to me.**

 **Enjoy!**

Epilogue

The night was silent as the full moon's light fell on the trees. It was a beautiful evening, not like any horror story. For once, the weather was clear today and stars glittered in the sky. I could see constellations and recognized them at just one glance. Even though light was good from moon, yet there was darkness underneath the growth. I could not see any creatures from where I stood at the branch of a large tree. The reason could also be that they tended to hide on our approach, listening to their instincts of saving themselves from predators.

I looked around myself, thinking about the location. If I was right, this would be a good place to confront Silas. He was looking for me so he'll come here himself in a few moment. I could hear the slight movements of people around me, mainly Cullens. They were here to help me, though I had a good enough experience of controlling Silas's wolf form when it was needed. They had at least had enough sense to leave me alone in this place, so that I could try controlling him myself first. They had told me that if situation looked bad, they would jump in. I knew Emmett would be the first one in that regard.

For Silas, Emmett was the brother that was born centuries later. It was disconcerting to see how those two got along with each other. I suspected that Jasper felt quite left alone but with the new positivity that was apparently new to the Cullen house, he was content. There was always a smile on his face these days, not one that came from a joke or because of just one moment of happiness, no, it was a smile of content. I felt good that Jasper did not feel conflicted anymore.

When Edward and I had returned to Cullen's house it had been full of greetings and hugs. Leah and Silas had already made themselves familiar with Cullens. Leah especially, considering that she had all the answer about my past after they were gone. Esme was crying mess when I had come back, sad about my story. I had to assure her that I was very happy now. The annoying part came when I got to know what Emmett and Silas had been up to.

"I am a duck, a pretty little duck" Emmett had said when he had seen me, cooing and doing an impression of a duck.

"You didn't asshole." I had screeched at Silas.

"Well, we were exchanging stories." He had said in his defense.

Emmett had been cackling in the background through all this.

I had remembered what he was referring to when he did that impression of duck. It was a bet that we had when we were doing a race. The loser had to wear a duck costume and had to say the words. It was till now, the most embarrassing thing I had to do.

Silas had got broken ribs that evening.

He was going to have the same today too. I heard the unmistakable sound of a howl piercing the night. The animalistic sound soothed me, as it usually did on nights like these. It just meant Silas was alright for now. Since the howl was closer than before, I understood that he was coming toward me.

I was confident about this fight, as we had to do this a couple of times but since Cullens didn't know anything about Werewolves, they were not so sure. Alice not being able to see anything didn't help matters either.

Alice had been the most stressed with new admission to the family. Though personally she liked them a lot, yet their presence blocked her vision. This disadvantage of hers was quite enjoyed by Emmett. Alice had more to say to me than anyone else. She had missed me a lot and was sorry for an incident that she related to me shortly. I remembered that conversation like it had happened yesterday.

 _After all the celebrations and hugs, she came to me.._

" _I wanted to talk with you about something." She said._

 _Looking at her face, I was on guard, she looked hesitant._

" _What?" I asked her._

" _Can I sit with you?" She asked._

 _I looked around me, at the quite of the night and flow and shine of the little stream that flowed infront of me. I had come here for some privacy, maybe it was because it had been Just us three for so many years but it felt weird to have so much attention on me. I had needed this silence so I had made excuses to get out of there._

" _Yes" I said to her._

 _She sat beside me cross-legged and not caring about her dress._

" _It's very peaceful here." She said._

" _I found this place while hunting; it was a full moon, so this stream looked even more beautiful at that time. I come here when I need some quiet or just want to think about things."_

 _She nodded and started weaving her hand through water._

" _You wanted to talk about something?" I asked her, not knowing why she was so quiet._

" _I saw you jump." She said._

 _And even though she did not explain it, I knew what she was talking about. That day on cliff when I was cliff diving, she must have seen a vision._

 _I stayed quiet._

" _I almost screamed when I saw it, I couldn't believe that you would do something so stupid. I tried to think what pushed you to that extreme. I knew I would be late even if I started toward Forks at that time. I couldn't think of what to do, I wanted to go there and help your father at least. I was grief stricken at the thought of your death." She looked so pained saying all that._

" _I told Jasper about what I had seen, I told him I was going to Forks. He calmed me down and reminded me that I had promised Edward to leave you alone. He told me that it would be no use either way or my presence infront of Charlie would only pain him more. He would only blame us for what had happened to her daughter, not that it would be wrong. I was so sorry, I wished I could have stopped it all but all of it happened and I couldn't do anything."_

 _She stopped talking after that, her breath hitching as if crying._

 _I took her hand in mine, forcing her to look at me._

" _This is what I am, this is the result of all the decisions made and I don't regret even one of them. Would I have been better if Edward didn't left me? Possibly. Would it have made a difference if you came back? Maybe. But right now, this is me. I won't say everything happened for best, but I don't mind how things turned out. I am happier with how I am now. I don't think of myself as weak and that is the thing I love most about myself. If anything happened differently, I don't know if I could be like this. So don't blame yourself, we should just look forward to a good future."_

 _Alice gave me a shaky smile and hugged me._

 _I was a lot uncomfortable cause it had been a long time since I was hugged with so much emotions but I bear with it, I knew she needed this moment._

" _Who saved you from that fall?" She asked later._

" _Jacob" I said, remembering his sunshine smile._

Alice was disappointed to know that I was not a fan of shopping still but she contented herself by buying things herself and using her imagination most of the time. We wore what we wanted and the rest were either given in charity or just gathered cobwebs in the back of our wardrobe. She was just happy with me being here and that at least she had Rosalie for that kind of stuff.

Rosalie was a part of my life that I could have live without. Her taunts and quips were always in the background and a few times I had gone for her head but the timely intervention of Emmett had kept her safe. He enjoyed the wrestling most of the time either way and it was a good way for me to blow off some steam. Whenever I was at Cullens, I made as much distance from her, as I could.

The first moment that I got of silence, I had brought a point infront of everyone that would have concerned them in future.

" _Everyone here knows that Leah and Silas are my family and I think everyone can acknowledge, you don't leave your family. Silas is a werewolf, no secret there. There are laws against connecting with a werewolf and we have been living the kind of life that comes with breaking that law. It is not an easy life, nor an ideal one. We have to kill people who are just following rules and that's what we do save my family. It is your decision if you want to live like that."_

 _Everyone was silent after that. I could see them chewing out my words. I didn't want to add the words that would confirm that if Silas can't stay with Cullens then I won't either. It would just make increase the pressure on them. I didn't want them to make a hasty decision, this was a life changing decision and it could only be taken by them._

" _I just want you by my side Bella. I-"Edward started saying._

" _Your decision is not your family's Edward. This is a difficult life, everyone should choose for themselves." I interrupted him._

" _What's new Bella? You always bring trouble to our family." Rosalie said with a sneer._

 _Emmett looked at her harshly. Everyone glared at Rosalie across the dining table that we have sat on for this discussion._

" _Rosalie is right in one context; this is a trouble for your family." I told them._

 _I looked at Carlisle as he cleared his throat. He was sitting on the head table with Esme on her left. They held each other's hand. I remembered thinking that Esme resembled Snow white, now I wondered if Carlisle would resemble Prince Charming too. Sometimes they looked just so pure with their Carlisle's discipline and morals and Esme's unconditional love._

" _What measures do you generally take to avoid the situation that may lead to Silas's secret uncovering?" He asked._

" _Since we don't get to meet many old vampire, there is hardly anyone who would recognize Silas by his scent. Full moons are less in number and coincidence and bad luck often lead to us meeting vampires on those occasions. Generally we just tell the vampires which we meet that Silas is a shapeshifter like Leah. There is no law against shapeshifters as much as I know." I sent an inquiring gaze at Carlisle._

" _As much as I know there is no law against them, though the lines could be blurred as there is no written law as vampires are supposed to have good memory."_

 _I nodded toward him._

" _Mostly we pass undetected. If anyone is suspicious we ask Leah to change her form and Silas would just say something about how he didn't want to be entertainment for vampires. This makes the vampires believe that he's just arrogant and as Leah changes her form easily, they believe us most of the time."_

 _Leah hadn't liked to be on show either but it was to save her imprint and she could do anything for him._

" _We keep Silas chained when it is a full moon. The basement is made to be soundproof wherever we go so not much noise can go outside when Silas changes. Of course if a vampire is within a mile or two, they would hear him and would get to the conclusion of Silas being a werewolf, then we would be in trouble and then we would attack."_

 _Carlisle looked at every family member in the face and everyone slowly nodded toward him except Rosalie._

" _Your precautions seem good and with an increase our number and considerable gifts on our sides, we may avoid any such situations as had been faced by you. Alice probably has to keep an eye on the coming and going of vampires in the town so she can warn us. Silas and Leah can travel somewhere for that time to avoid confrontation. If it came to a fight, then as you've said, you don't leave your family. Bella, you have been our family for a long time and we have already done a mistake of leaving you behind. We are not going to do it again."_

 _Everyone stood up to embrace us once again to welcome us in the family. Rosalie snarled but went out of the room instead of trying to damage anything. After a brief but warm hug, Emmett too followed her._

 _Surprisingly it was Jasper whose enthusiasm knew no bounds. He picked me up and actually spun me around._

" _There is so much happiness in this atmosphere right now, I feel like I'm high from it all." He said after he put me down._

" _Happy to be of service." I told him and kissed him on his cheek._

 _I felt that in future Jasper could be a brother just like Emmett and I felt impatient to experience that._

 _Edward stood in corner, leaning against a wall. He didn't come to hug me but watched my face with such an expression; I couldn't help but grin at him._

I shook myself out of those memories. This thing needed my concentration. I could hear the heavy thumps of Silas's feet hitting the ground. Leah was just behind him, making sure that he does not backtrack to the town. The probability of that happening was slim but after the years of precaution, we hardly took chances.

The first time it had happened, it came as a surprise to me and everyone else too. It was months after the situation with Cullens had been resolved and even though I stayed with Leah and Silas on the nights like these, an invitation from Jasper interested me. He had told me he wanted to race with me, the dirty racing that we were used to. He wanted to do it in night to make it more interesting, so I had been missing from our own house when he faced. Generally on nights like these Silas would just phase and he and Leah have some brutal yet fun activity and it'll be over. But that one time he had thrown Leah away, broke away the chains holding him and had run like hell. Jasper and I had come across him in the forest and after subduing him, had brought him back.

The next day when asked, Silas had looked embarrassed and had not uttered a single word of reason of why he was running around in forest. He had just told us that it won't happen again. It was weird of him to be hiding something from me and Leah but we had taken his word on it. Apparently, he did not know what he was talking about. It happened again, and again, and again. Whenever I was out of the house during his phasing, he would run away and I would have to subdue him. We were still not able to get the reason out of him.

I looked under the branch that I was standing on, Silas stood there, growling at me. Looking at him, the natural enmity in me rose. A growl erupted from me before I could stop it. I could see his hackles rising and it made me want to growl again but I stopped myself. Without any further delay, I pounced on him, baring my teeth. He met me halfway and then we were on each other.

I rolled us around and when he was on top, threw him sideways, making him slam against a tree. The tree gave an ominous creak but stayed upright. Silas stood up and pounced so fast, I did not see it. His claws ripped the sleeves of my right hand and some skin with it. I hissed at him and grabbed the paw that had slashed me and wrenched it in an unnatural angle. I could hear the _crack_ that the bone made as it broke. Silas howled furiously and managed to grab my ankle before I got away. He teared it right through bones and muscles and threw it in bushes. I shuffled on my one working foot and got on a branch just as Leah slammed into Silas and bit him on his collarbone as her claws sunk into his abdomen. Silas gave a furious growl and slammed Leah against the ground sinking his own teeth against her throat. Leah howled in the night, though I could tell it was of a different nature.

I watched from above as Leah flipped him with some struggle and started biting him all over the body and when the fight started turning into something, I turned away. I did not go far but just enough so that I could give some semblance of privacy to the rutting wolves.

I leaned against a tree and looked at my leg, where my foot should have been. I grimaced at the thought of trying to find it in the dark. With a sigh I looked up and admired the moon that I could see between the foliage. It was a beautiful night.

One moment I was alone and the next, Cullens surrounded me.

"Bella, you alright?" Jasper asked.

I gave him a bland look in return.

"Uh, I mean aside from your missing foot." He said in such a sheepish tone that I had to smile.

I noticed the moonlight glinting off from his hair, it made him look ethereal. If Rosalie were here, I would have compared them. Because both of them were alike in their features and the moon that made him look like this, would have made Rosalie look like an angel too. An angel with ego problem though.

"I'm fine. You should go before you get mentally scarred from all the rutting going there." I pointed toward Leah and Silas's general direction.

I could see a grimace travelling around in the group. Emmett just chuckled like a pervert that he was.

"I don't know what you're talking about Bella. I quite enjoyed that show." He said.

"I'm sure Silas would be happy to hear that. Maybe he'll give his ass virginity to you or maybe vice versa." I said to him in a flat voice.

He made retching sounds at that. I grinned maliciously.

"I am going to stay here, make sure that Silas doesn't run away again."

Emmett was still horrified enough to not make any comment on that.

"Are you sure you don't want us here?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, I am sure. Esme would be worried either way. You should go tell her that we found Silas."

I looked at Alice who looked frustrated again that she hadn't been able to see it coming, again. It was a general expression on her these days.

"Where's Edward?" I asked, noticing that he was not there.

"He went to find your foot." Carlisle replied.

I rolled my eyes at that. I saw Jasper patting Emmett on his back as he continued to make retching noise. I had to roll my eyes at that too.

They took after a few minutes of planning the day ahead. I made myself comfortable. The loss of my limb was not much of a problem; I could easily find it in morning. I decided to visit a memory in my mind, since I had nothing else to do.

* * *

I closed my eyes and started walking in the corridor. I decided on one of my recent memories of Edward. I opened the door and took the plunge.

I blinked as a leaf fluttered toward my face, I dodged it and continued on my path. Edward was definitely beating me in this race. It didn't seem that I was going to win this one either. When the Cullens had told me, I didn't how much.

Since it was a lost cause, I decided to hunt for my food. Hunting was supposed to be the primary reason for us to be here. Normally if we went hunting together, there would be another person with us. It seemed to them that we needed a buffer so our situation didn't become intense when we were hunting. It took them some time to realize that we were adults. As much as I could understand Edward was happy that I was here and would be happy to wait for my recognition as long as it took. I wondered how long he could wait but since I could not read his mind, I didn't know. We had been civil toward each other in starting but had started talking in more friendly way as days progressed. Mostly it was me coming to terms with his presence. He took any opportunity he could get to get me in a conversation and that effort did pay off.

"Accepted that I won?" Edward asked from behind me.

I turned toward him, hearing a squirrel scurrying away as it tried to stay away from the path of the predator.

"I just decided to eat before I got into anymore exercise." I said to him.

He leaned against the tree infront of me, with his hands tucked in his dark blue denim jeans. He wore a red t-shirt that suited his skin tone a lot.

"I'm sure" He smirked.

"Don't be cocky, Cullen." I said to him.

"I am, when I have a reason to be."

I turned my back toward him and took a deep breath to smell my surroundings. I could smell a beast some distance away. Ascertaining as to my direction, I took off. Edward was beside me as I followed the smell.

"Fastest person gets the blood." Edward said and took off.

"Jerk" I hissed.

I put on more speed to get there faster, a plan forming in my mind of what I can do to get my hands on the lion that I had found.

The moment I got in the clearing where Edward was still fighting the lion, I saw him flip the lion and twisting its neck. Before he could bite into it, I ran and grabbed his hand, pulling his body away from our prey and sending him flying against a tree. I hurriedly bent down on the lion and bit into his neck.

"Hey, that was my lion." Edward said.

"I found it first." I said as I stood looked up toward him.

He stood there, dusting himself off, his cocky expression gone.

"I fought it off." He said in light anger.

"Thanks for that but I bit him first." I could not contain my smile at that.

"You!" He narrowed his eyes.

I saw him putting his weight on his left leg and pushing himself toward me. I dodged with a laugh but he turned fast and knocked me midair, we rolled together and crashed in the ground. I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled from my mouth as I saw his sulky expression, after a while he started laughing too.

The foliage covered us and as we laughed, it echoed around the forest. It felt like we were alone in the forest, doing silly things on our own. We looked at each other, grins forming both on our lips as we enjoyed the moment.

"Thanks for being a friend first." I said to him.

He seemed to understand what I was saying as he nodded his head.

"I should have started with that from the starts." He replied.

"I-"

* * *

I pinned the presence infront of me to the tree beside me.

"It's me" Edward grunted.

I blinked myself awake from the memory that I had been experiencing, I realized it was Edward and released him.

"Whoops, sorry." I said.

"You're not." He said.

"No, I'm not."

He rolled his eyes at that.

"Shouldn't you go back to the house?" He asked me.

"I thought it'll be better if I stayed here in case Silas decided to run again."

He looked thoughtful at that.

"Don't you find it a bit… disturbing?" He asked.

I grimaced since I knew what he was talking about.

"Sadly, I am used to it. I just try to ignore them, trying is the key word." I replied.

"I can imagine how it feels. Listening to Emmett's and Rosalie's thoughts about their sex life is definitely something I had to get used to."

I just shook my head at that. Life of vampires was definitely more difficult then it looked.

"I found your foot." He said after a minute.

"Give me, I'll attach it." I said, extending my hand toward him.

"Let me do the honors." He said, smiling.

He positioned my foot toward my leg as if he was helping me wear sandal or shoes. I looked at him as he held my leg and feet together. The skin slowly joining in the middle.

"It looks like a gorier version of Cinderella." I whispered to him in the quiet.

"Grimm brothers would be happy with this scene at least."

I laughed lightly at that and after a while quieted.

"I wonder what is wrong with Silas. He didn't used to be that difficult before." I mused.

I looked at Edward and saw him smiling. I had forgotten that he would have been able to hear Silas thoughts on this topic. I didn't use my shield so much now so it was possible.

I raised my eyebrow toward him in a questioning manner.

He just kept smiling.

"Are you going to tell me?" I asked.

"On one condition." He said

"And what condition is it?"

"You have to go on a date with me." He said.

I looked at him, a bit shocked. I didn't think he would approach me for a date so early but we had been going good for months, so I guess it was time to forward our relationship a bit.

"Would it consist of frilly dress and candle light dinners?" I asked, a bit wary.

"Not for this Bella. For you, the Date would be something that YOU would enjoy, the present Bella."

I looked at the moon through the foliage as I considered my response. I had been aware that we were leading towards this, but as a vampire, where the time had gone, I had not been sure. We were close, but were we that close? I could say no and wait for a little more time for us to get close. Or I could just say yes and decide on the date. There would be many opportunity in the dates when he would be close to me, as the dates normally goes, maybe his closeness would eventually answer the question.

"I think that is a valid condition." I said and smiled toward him.

His face was full of so much happiness that I had to look in another direction to not get overwhelmed by it.

"So, what's the reason?" I asked him.

"Well, it's very simple to understand it actually. You call your family coven, don't you?" He looked at me inquiringly.

I nodded my head.

"By that definition, Silas think of your family as his pack. I am guessing he considers himself alpha even though all of you represent different entities. But as it is, he thinks of you as part of the pack. As an Alpha, it is his duty to see your safety. In human form he knows that you are safe with us. But when he transforms, the animal instincts increases and the only thing running through his mind is that you are a pack member and you are missing and there are many of his natural enemies running about in the same city. So he gets worried and tried to find you and as you can see, every single time you are the one who comes across him. So, that is the reason for his behavior."

I thought about the explanation. It did make a lot of sense. His running away started when I started hanging out with Cullens during his phasing. When he is werewolf on full moons, his animal instincts are the driving reason in his mind and that's why Leah can control him through mating with him. Sometimes it had happened that they both would start running in forest but Leah always made sure that he did not venture out somewhere dangerous. We were definitely protective of each other and if he was worried about my absence during his phasing, he would behave like that.

"Why wasn't he telling us the reason?" I asked, confused.

Edward just kept grinning.

"Well as your relationship is something of fighting playmates, he did not want to show that your absence can cause such serious reaction in his countenance. He keeps thinking that his wolf form would get used to it but to no avail."

I rolled my eyes at that and cursed a bit in my head. Stupid asshole, putting everyone in danger just so he could show he did not have a human heart.

"He's an idiot for thinking that." I said out loud.

"I think so too."

I smiled at him at that. I leaned my head back on the tree to rest. A strong wind went through the forest as we sat there. It ruffled my hair and for a second the forest started looking alive as creatures looked for a safe place to save themselves.

I saw as Edward looked at me and inched his hand toward my face where a stray lock escaped my ear. He looked at me, his gaze probing. I didn't do anything, just looked at him as he extended his hand inch by inch. As his hand came closer, he too shifted toward me. In a few seconds he was leaning over, his legs bent ion half and fingers touching my hair. I looked in his eyes as he stared back. He took the clock and slid it behind my ear.

"I don't think I can be angry at Silas for thinking of protecting you even in his werewolf form." He said in a whisper.

I looked in his eyes, they glittered topaz even in the night and I was mesmerized for a minute from their brilliance to utter a response. He blinked once and I could think straight again.

"I can protect myself." I replied.

"I think it's been a long time since I've accepted that." I could see the truth in it, a warm feeling entered me and I could only think about the closeness of his body toward mine.

"Good, that means you won't run away to protect me."

"Not till we exist on this earth and I think even beyond that." His soft smile brought his lips to my focus and in the moon light, they looked particularly tempting.

"I think I can accept that." With that, I placed my lips on his in a slow yet passionate kiss.

 **THE END**

 **Review if you liked it.**


End file.
